


Ghosts of the Future

by shiptoomuch



Series: Avengers!Trek-verse [1]
Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Asexual Character, Avengers AU, Deaf Character, F/M, Fluff, M/M, Minor Character Death, Multi, Winter Soldier AU, alternate universe-superheroes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-05
Updated: 2015-03-28
Packaged: 2018-02-11 20:44:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 19
Words: 52,026
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2082537
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shiptoomuch/pseuds/shiptoomuch
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Avengers is a team of highly skilled "superheroes" led by Leonard McCoy and Jim Kirk, the product of genetic engineering and the son of a long dead hero.</p><p>Catastrophe strikes in the form of a long-quiet terror cell, a resurrected father, and a possible traitor in the form of a friend.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Act One

**Author's Note:**

> yeah this is a thing im writing idk

George wakes up with a gasp and he jolts straight up in bed. His vision goes fuzzy at the sudden headrush but he can’t find it in himself to care at all, really. He’s awake. George is awake in a hospital bed and the sight of New York City outside of the window is quite possibly the most comforting thing he’s seen in a while. 

He’s alive. His arms and legs feel too heavy and he has a headache the size of Maine but he’s alive.

Just as he realizes that his throat feels dryer than any desert, a woman who he assumes is someone from the army walks into the room. “Hello, Captain. How are you feeling?” She smiles sweetly at him and it’s the first time in this whole thing that George gets the feeling of something being wrong. He can’t really peg it, but something definitely is not right here. 

The radio is playing in the corner of the room. It’s a baseball game that has the announcers sounding extremely excited. He glances around the room: the beige cotton curtains, neatly made bed, and view out of the window don’t point to anything being wrong. Nothing in this room gives off any obvious sign of there being anything off but he can’t get rid of the nagging feeling in his gut that says he’s missing something. Something he should have noticed right away. 

“Captain Kirk?” Oh right, the woman. She’s standing just inside the door wearing a perfectly ironed brown skirt that hits her just below the knee and a white button down with a brown tie. She’s dressed almost identically to how Winona used to when she was working. 

Winona. It hurts to even think her name. Last time he spoke to his wife, they were both sure it would be the last time.

“And it’s a homerun for Mills!” The voice from the radio yells and George knows something is wrong now.

-

Jim wakes up to the vibration of his bed, same as every morning. And, same as every morning, he regrets setting a pointless alarm. He has absolutely no reason to be waking up so early in the morning but something feels wrong about waking up after eight. 

He’d call it something like genetics but he doesn’t actually know any specifics about his parents. Never met them, probably never will.

Rather than letting himself lay in bed and stew for the rest of the day, as he has been wont to do on occasion, Jim pushes himself out of bed. His feet make contact with the too cold wood flooring and he reminds himself for the millionth time to get carpeting installed.

He won’t do it, but it’s certainly a nice thing to think.

He feels around on the nightstand for the small black square that seems to control his life and the amount that other people can stand him. He slips it into the pocket of his gray sweatpants, not bothering to actually use it. He’s not going to see anyone anytime soon and today feels like one of those days.

Jim trudges into the kitchen, limbs still feeling like they have actually been replaced by lead. He opens the too-nice-for-his-entire life fridge and glares at the cartons of leftovers, milk, and vegetables that Carol probably broke into his apartment and put there. It takes him five full minutes of glaring at the contents of a refrigerator he didn’t even buy for himself to realize that he has absolutely no appetite, same as every day.

He pops in a keurig cup thing (He can almost hear Ny yelling what they’re called at him but then again he can’t really hear anything right now.) and settles back against the counter, still gazing far too angrily at kitchen appliances.

The only thing he really feels any sort of love for at this moment is the coffee maker, and he’s always had a soft spot for that thing. Well, both of them. He has to resist the urge to reach out and comfort his traditional full pot one because he’s opted for the single cup Keurig this morning. He feels bad about it, truly. 

He’s been through a lot with that thing and it’s plainly obvious judging by the state of the dingy white machine compared to the sleek silver of his kitchen. (Once again, not picked out by him. It was all Nyota and Carol, just like the rest of his apartment and life.)

Jim cannot help but feel like he’s lost control of his own life some days and only coffee and the knowledge that he will always have it can ever make him feel sane. It’s the sole reason Nyota decided having an actual Starbucks in her building was completely necessary. Say what you will about her, but Jim can respect that she has some amount of respect for him.

His coffee finishes and fills the entire space with the rich scent of it. He inhales deeply and lets his eyes fall shut. He reaches out for his cup with relish just as the phone starts flashing and beeping. The shock of it caused him to knock the cup over and spill coffee all over the counter. “Aw, coffee, no.” 

He groans and reaches for a towel. Whoever was calling can definitely wait for him to get back to them. Anyone who makes him spill his coffee gets no special treatment. Pavel learned that the hard way. (Jim still feels bad about that some days.)

Anyway, nobody ever really needs anything that urgent from Jim.

-

“Where am I?” George demands of the woman, who is clearly trying to mask her reaction of surprise with confusion.

“I’m afraid I don’t know what you’re asking.” She purses her lips and smiles at the same time, which does not help to make her seem any less suspicious. 

Really, the whole thing stinks of a cover up but George can’t quite figure out what it is they’re trying to cover up. And they did a damn good job, whoever they are. If it were anyone but himself, they probably would have pulled it off with no problems but he’d like to consider himself a bit smarter than that. “Where am I?” He repeats himself, this time more firmly.

He pushes himself out of the bed and onto his feet as the woman looks behind herself nervously. “Sir, I think it would be best for you to stay in bed at this point.” She offers a half smile, obviously growing more and more uncomfortable with each passing second and step that George takes toward her.

“That game.” He points behind himself at the radio. “I was at that game.” He rounds on the woman. “So I’m going to give you one last chance. Where am I?”

The woman opens her mouth as if to speak but just as she does, the room fills with men dressed all in black, trying to restrain him. “What the hell?”

He struggles against the grip of these obviously highly trained agents or whatever they are. It’s not very hard for him to fight them all off, even after who knows how long asleep. He’s driven mostly by the need to see Winona again. Something in the back of his mind pulls at him and says that if he can just fight them off, he can get back to his wife. 

He would kill everyone in this room to get back to Winnie at this point.

“Code Thirteen, we have a code thirteen!” He heard the woman shriek as he burst out of the door and found himself in the hallway, surrounded by men and woman in suits. 

George isn’t exactly sure what ‘code thirteen’ could possibly mean, but he’s pretty sure it has to do with him and it could not possibly mean anything good for his chances of getting back to his wife and settling down.

Starting a family.

Even as he’s running through unfamiliar halls chased by strange men in uniforms that are too similar to the ones he saw just before he thought he died, he lets his mind wander back to her. The conversations they would have about starting a family. George had always wanted a son.

He was sure they could figure something out now.

He spies a set of glass doors that lead outside and without thinking or even really looking, he bursts through them and into the middle of the road.

This is not the New York he knows. It’s familiar, for sure, but it is so different that it’s almost unrecognizable as his city. This new version of New York is full of bright lights and screens and cars that look completely different from anything he would have driven.

It’s enough to stop him dead in his tracks, to say the least.

“We wanted to ease you into it.” A voice behind him chuckles and George whips around to face the source.

Standing behind him is a man in a suit, leaning on a cane with a slight smirk. His hair is graying and his face is covered in wrinkles but George can tell that this man was once handsome. He exudes a sort of authority that he cannot quite place. “What are you talking about? What’s going on?”

The man takes a few steps toward him and extends a hand which George takes automatically, albeit with some measure of trepidation. “Christopher Pike.” He smiles and gives his hand a shake before releasing. “I think I have a story you need to hear.”

George nods and frowns, drawing his eyebrows together. “I think you’re right, Chris.”

-

Jim sighs as he throws the towel into the sink. He wipes his hand on his sweats. Reaching into the pocket of said pants, he withdraws the small square. He clicks the largest button and closes his eyes as his whole world bursts into the hum of appliances and distant sounds of cars. It sparks a sharp but swift pain behind his eyes that quickly dissipates. 

He picks up the phone and presses the callback button without looking. Nobody has this number unless he wants them to. Nobody could even get his personal number without his knowledge, his friends made sure of that.

He listens to the ringing with chagrin. It’s only about twenty seconds before the person on the other end picks up. Twenty seconds which Jim struggles through with the disgusting ringing in his ears that seems to echo around his head. There are certain noises that sound absolutely terrible with the aides and the ringing of the phone is one of them. 

“Hawkie!” The voice on the other end of the line chirps. Jim breaks out into a grin. 

“I should have known it was you. Nobody else would call me at eight am.” He teases. “And what’s with the nickname?”

“What’s with not answering your phone?” Carol shoots back without missing a beat. “I was about to come break into your home and make sure you hadn’t died.

Jim rolls his eyes and leans against the counter again. “I might have been sleeping.” He knows that she knows he wasn’t sleeping but sometimes, even Jim likes to entertain the idea of being a slightly normal person.

Carol scoffs, as is to be expected. “You act like I haven’t known you for years.” She laughs at him amicably. “You have never-not one day in your life-slept through your ridiculous alarm. Not even when you were sick with the worst case of the flu I’d ever seen.”

Jim grins at the memory of it. He was practically hallucinating and babbling on to Carol but he still woke up at 7:30 sharp. He fell back asleep eventually but was definitely awake when he was supposed to be. “Yeah, that was fun.”

“Not the word I’d use, but sure.” Carol somehow manages to sound perfectly wonderful and collected and just nice despite her evil ways and mean behavior. Jim scowls at the phone. Must be the accent. “So, I have news.”

“I assumed as much.”

He can practically hear Carol rolling her eyes on the other end of the line. Well, see. But seeing through the telephone is not exactly possible and it’s easier to just say hear. Even if his brain supplies sarcastic remarks every time he does. 

Fucking brains. 

“We have a code captain.” Carol breathes through the phone, her voice suddenly much heavier than before. “A real one, this time.”

Jim’s whole world stops at that moment and the pain behind his eyes comes back all at once, more intense than before. He presses the heel of his hand to his forehead and squeezes his eyes shut. “Carol, this isn’t funny. Don’t joke like that. We all know he probably won’t ever wake up.”

“They lied. He’s been stable for weeks and he woke up today.” She speaks quickly, sounding almost panicked. “I’m not joking, James. George Kirk is awake and he’s running around Manhattan looking extremely confused.”

Jim lets out a breath once he realizes that she’s not lying. He knows Carol’s lying voice, has always been able to pin it down even when nobody else could possibly tell the difference. He used to have to see her face-to-face but since Uhura made him his new aides, it’s a lot easier to tell simply aurally. “George Kirk has no idea that he has a son.”

-

“You are expecting me to believe that you found me frozen in ice seventy years after everyone thought I died-Including myself, I might add-and you brought me back to life?” George crosses his arms and leans back in the leather chair across from Pike’s desk. 

He doesn’t believe it and he knows that Pike knows he cannot believe it. If this is true, then Winona is close to death and probably wouldn’t even recognize him. He doesn’t believe it and he can’t believe it.

Christopher Pike, head of SHIELD, has to understand that no matter how many pictures he shows him or facts and figures get thrown around, George cannot believe it.

“George, you have to believe it. You have to believe that this is 2014 and you are here. There’s no going back now.” Chris fixes him with a hard stare. “Now your only choice is whether you live up to what you’re meant to do or you go and sit somewhere, wasting everything that countless people have risked for you.”

George knows what he had to do. What he should do. Still, he can’t rid himself of that overwhelming lost he feels every time he moves or speaks or looks around at this strange new world. Seventy years and everything is so different.

Suddenly the tight white t-shirt they dressed him up in feels like it’s squeezing him too tightly, like he’s going to run out of breath at any given moment. “What do you need me to do?”

Pike leans forward with a smirk and rests his elbows on the desk, steepling his fingers together. “You’re not the only hero out there anymore, Kirk.” His voice had become serious but not the terrifying kind George used to hear from men who carried the same sort of authority on their shoulders. “You are one of many people with extraordinary abilities and we want you to use those abilities the way you should be.”

George narrows his eyes at Pike and cannot help but get a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach. It sounds like he’s going to be used as a military puppet again and he doesn’t really want that. At all. “What happened to Winona after I left?”

“I don’t see how that-“ Chris starts, obviously perplexed by George’s sudden questioning.

George holds up a hand to stop him talking with a frown. “What happened to my wife? I’m sure you can understand why I’m concerned.” He stares hard at the ring on Pike’s left hand.

Chris instinctively grabs the ring with his right hand. George wonders what they did with his own ring, if it got lost when he crashed. “Winona Kirk went missing about a year after everyone thought her husband died.”

If he was feeling lost before that, George isn’t quite what to do now. In all of the situations he had thought up for Winona, none of them included her dying alone in something that was probably bloody and painful. She was supposed to live a great life, surrounded by people who love her. Even without George there beside her, Winona was supposed to be happy. “Disappeared?”

Pike looks extremely uncomfortable at this point and he tries to occupy himself with papers on his desk so that he doesn’t have to make eye contact with George. “She was going after the last few agents that Romulus had out there and she got lost somewhere.” He frowns at the desk. “Nobody knows what happened. She was just gone one day and so were the people she was looking for.”

George holds his breath for the words that he knows must be coming. He can hear it before Chris even starts to say it. He doesn’t want to hear it said, doesn’t need to, will fall apart if it happens but he knows it’s coming. He braces himself.

“We can only assume that she died not long after. It would be cruel to wish that she didn’t.” Pike continues to stare at the desk like it holds the answers to what happened to the woman.

George’s heart drops down to his feet at the words and he wants to bolt out of the office. Feels the desperate need to run, run, run as far away as is humanly (or super-humanly) possible, as if running will take it all away, will bring him back to Winona and everyone he loved. 

Everyone he lost.

“Cruel?” George manages to get out, voice slightly hoarse.

This time, Pike manages to pry his gaze away from the glass top of the workspace and meet George’s gaze. “After you died and we couldn’t find you, the serum was lost. Some people determined to recreate it. We found proof of…human test subjects from Romulus. The testing was brutal and inhumane. If Winona wasn’t killed, chances are they tested on her and tortured her.” 

George stares at his knees, clad in perfectly ironed khakis that don’t belong to him. He doesn’t belong here, in this place, in this time, without Winona or anything familiar. “I don’t think I can do what you want me to do, Chris. I can’t just put on the uniform and be that hero again.”

“There’s someone I think you should meet, Cap.”


	2. Chapter 2

“Carol, I’ve gotta go.” Jim sighs into the phone. “I need time to…I don’t know. Think or something.”

“Don’t think too hard. Wouldn’t want you to get hurt, would we?” Carol’s voice is tinged with worry and Jim, for the millionth time in his life, is glad that he has this woman in his life.

Any and all awkward romantic attempts aside.

He forces a laugh out. “I’ll try. No promises, though. You know me.”

“Yeah, I do.”

Carol’s practically whispered response sends a nearly palpable silence like a knife through their conversation. Jim holds his breath until he remembers that breathing is actually a necessary thing to do. “Thank you.”

“What ever are you thanking me for?” Carol laughs lightly. “You know me too and you know that means I don’t deserve any of your thanks.”

“Thanks for…giving me a chance.”

He knows what Carol is thinking, can’t help but remember there past, but he cannot let her go thankless, as much as she may think she deserves it. “You’re an idiot, Jim Kirk.” Her smile can almost be heard through the phone, same as always. “Look, I’ll stop by later. Once Pike is gone.”

“Thanks, Carol.” He hangs up the phone and brings a hand to his forehead.

Jim’s headaches are nothing new. He’s had them since he was a kid and they are such a fixture in his life that he doesn’t even really care at this point. He usually just lies down for a bit, turns off his aides, and pops a few Advil. Can’t rid himself of them completely but he can turn down the volume of them, so to speak.

Except today he feels so tightly wound that he cannot bring himself to do anything but pace the length of his living room and kitchen repeatedly, pausing only to glance out the window for any sign of Pike and his father. His father. The man he doesn’t know and who has no idea that Jim even exists. The dead man brought back to life by some agents with far too much determination. 

Jim might not be able to turn off his brain but he can turn off everything else. High tech aides mean he doesn’t need to use them all the time.

The knock on Jim’s door comes accompanied by the remote in his pocket buzzing to alert him. Of course this is happening without so much as a phone call preceding it. Of course, he knew all along that when (if) this ever happened, Chris wouldn’t be kind enough to actually let him prepare. Things like this tend to be sprung on him without any actual warning.

Still, he can’t help but jump a little in fear at the idea of meeting the man. A feeling of dread and anticipation settles in his bones as he walks towards it to welcome whatever is about to happen. He honestly has no idea what to expect at this point. Yesterday he was sure that George Kirk would never wake up from his comatose state.

Today is telling a different story. Jim is still unsure as to whether it is a story he wants to be a part of.

Nevertheless, he realizes that he doesn’t have much of a choice as his fingers wrap around the doorknob and he wrenches the thing open. Pike is standing in the doorway with his cane, looking every bit the part of a director of a secret government agency. Typically, Jim would find some sort of solace in seeing the man who had been a sort of father figure to him for years.

Now, all he can feel is a strong feeling of estrangement and anxiety. “James. How are you?”

-

George stands behind a man he met two hours previous and stares at yet another stranger. Someone who is, apparently, named James and who doesn’t speak but instead responds to Pike’s words by moving his hands around. 

Still, as strange and belligerent as this man seems, George can’t look away from him. There is something familiar about him. He’s almost completely certain he’s seen that blonde hair and those shockingly blue eyes before but he can’t place them, can’t seem to find a time or a date where he saw those features staring at him before.

Even the structure of his face, covered in scars and a bandage across his nose though it may be, bears a resemblance to someone from his past. 

“James, you know why I’m here.” Pike leans against his cane and James frowns even more deeply at him. “You know that he can’t understand you.”

James responds with some more gesturing before sighing and reaching into his pocket. He pulls out a thin black square and holds it up in the older man’s face, seeming more than a little bit sarcastically. He pushes the circle in the middle of the square, winces a bit, and runs a hand through his hair. “Are you happy?”

Pike shrugs. “I could have done it myself and you know it. You should be happy that I’m not violating your rights.” Both of them are still pointedly ignoring George’s presence and he can’t help but end up with a bit of a bruised ego.

James stands aside in the doorway and waves them into the apartment with flapping hands. His head hangs slightly, as though to avoid any possible eye contact with George. “Go on in. I’ll make coffee.” Once his visitors are inside, Jim looks outside the door and closes it soundly. 

George follows Pike like a good soldier because he isn’t exactly sure what else to do. The older man goes right ahead and settles himself onto the slightly worn black leather couch, looking completely at ease in this environment. George, however, does not think he’s exactly as welcome as the director and chooses instead to stand a few feet away with his arms crossed. 

Winona always said he wore his heart on his sleeve and George is pretty sure that applies in this situation because he feels like tension is etched into every bit of his being.

Honestly, he has no idea what is supposed to be happening here and he does not like that one bit. He doesn’t know who James is, doesn’t know why he’s important, and doesn’t know if he wants to. Something about the young man feels like he could be dangerous.

“So.” Jim stands away from the other two men, just a little ways away from the door, as if he wants to be able to see both of them and block any escapes.

Or make his own. “So.” Pike responds casually, as if this is not the strangest thing George has ever experienced. “I’m assuming you know who this is?” He indicates George with his head.

It’s so clearly calculated and measured, every little move in this interaction is like a perfectly choreographed pas de deux that George doesn’t know if he wants to watch. “Of course I do. Everyone for the last seventy years knows who Captain America is.” Jim snorts and takes a few steps forward into the room.

“You know that’s not what I meant, Jim.” Despite the words that should sound much more irritated than they do, George can sense something more relaxed in Pike’s presence. “You know who this is.”

The young man, in perfect opposition to Pike, grows even more tense. The muscles in his neck flutter slightly and he tightens his crossed arms. “Oh how could I not? I see this guy every morning when I look in the mirror. Whenever I hear my name, it’s a reminder of him. Do I know him? You bet I do.” Jim looks about ready to lash out at whoever tries him first.

George is just plain confused. “What does he mean?”

Pike turns to him, as though in shock that he has decided to speak up. “George, I told you there was someone I thought you should meet.” He smiles tightly. “Well, meet Jim Kirk.”

Jim cocks a stiff grin at George. “Your son.”

-

He was not, by any means, expecting George to take it well. He knew that a hug and a “my boy!” were definitely not in order. He didn’t even want that.

But Jim could never have predicted the amount of sheer anger and confusion that the man was currently radiating. George’s posture shifts from that of an uncomfortable party to that of a man betrayed and infuriated. “What the hell do you mean?” He spits out and Jim can’t help but wince. “I died seventy years ago. This boy is what? Twenty-five?”

“Twenty-seven.” Jim shoots back.

George stares at him for a few moments, as if bewildered as to why Jim could possibly think it okay to contribute to this conversation. He shakes his head and turns back to Pike. “Twenty-seven years old. And you should know that isn’t the only problem with this situation.” 

Pike shifts uncomfortably. “The situation is…complicated. But he’s telling the truth. James Tiberius Kirk is your son.”

“But how?”

Jim decides right about now is the time to stop caring altogether. Twenty-seven years of wondering what this moment would be like and never thinking it would actually happen. Twenty-seven years of acting like he wasn’t a freak of nature. 

It’s time he did what he has always wanted to. “How? I’ll tell you how. They took your sample and your wife’s sample and mixed ‘em together. Nine months later and you have a kid whose parents have been dead for forty years.” He smirks and gestures to himself. “A bit disappointing, I know, but I try my best.”

George, it would seem, is still not in the mood to actually pay any real attention to Jim just yet. He rounds on Chris, this time with a kind of look in his eyes that Jim cannot exactly identify but it looks like hope and desperation and anger mixed into one. It looks like a memory and a nightmare. “Samples? You don’t mean-“

Pike nods. “The samples they took from the both of you when they found out Winona was non-fecund. The technology was worked out eventually and we figured-“

“Figured what?” George snaps and throws his arms up. “Figured that you could just take our genes and make a child that nobody asked for?”

It’s Jim’s sharp intake of breath that finally warrants some actual attention from the other men. He wasn’t expecting to react so strongly to anything that this stranger could possibly say. Still, to hear the words he’d always thought to himself said aloud by someone else. None of the times he’s been shot or stabbed have ever hurt quite this much.

It’s shock, for the most part.

“Jim-“ Pike, of course, is the one to start trying to placate him. “He didn’t mean-“

Jim scoffs and waves him off. “Don’t. Of course he meant it. He didn’t want me and honestly? I can’t really blame him.” Jim shrugs and looks at his feet. “I was a science experiment.”

George’s eyebrows shoot up but the fact that he’s not moving to say anything against Jim’s words makes him angry. There should be something there. Some part of this man that wants to make Jim at least feel good. Sure, he didn’t ask for Jim but that does not mean he has to treat him so cruelly. “I’ve made myself into more. I’ve fought harder than you could possibly imagine to be more.”

“You don’t know the meaning of fighting, kid.” George spits out. “You got the good parts of me. The serum genes.”

“You honestly have no idea what you’re talking about.” Jim glares at him with an anger he hasn’t felt in years. “You got the serum in full force. I got scraps. I was sick more days than not. I was weak. I got beaten up without having to look for fights like you did. I grew up practically deaf because of you.”

George opens his mouth to speak but Jim certainly is not having any of that today. “Don’t say anything about how I ‘seem to be doing just fine’ now. This?” He waves the small remote in George’s face. “These aides are nothing. Effective? Sure. But the doctors say that my hearing could go completely any given day and these things in my head will stop working.” He shoves the device back in his pocket. “You got the cure. I got the bandaid.”

To Jim’s incredible surprise, this is apparently all it takes to actually break through George’s anger. The man who bears so much resemblance to Jim scrubs his hands over his face and looks up at him with wet eyes. He opens and closes his mouth repeatedly; as if this action will help him find the words he is seeking. “You look like her.” Are the words Jim isn’t expecting, but they are the words he gets all the same.

Jim can feel it: the sense that they are teetering on the edge of something. One word could push them either way but Jim cannot find a single thing to say. Instead, he’s stuck staring this man who is supposed to be his father in the face. “I think you should go.”

Pike starts with “Now, James, I don’t think you need to be so dramatic.” at the same time that George says “I just wanted to-never mind.”

Jim shrugs and touches a few fingers delicately to the bandage across his nose. “You need to go.” He speaks more firmly this time.

“James. You two need to talk.” Pike’s tone of voice sounds more like begging than it ever has. “We need you to talk to him. We need his help.”

“I hope you understand how shitty it is, what you’re doing to me.” Jim turns away and waves at the door. “Now go before I call Carol.”

Pike nods at Jim, the unspoken agreement to discuss this later between them. He pats George on the shoulder, guiding him towards the door. “Come on. There are matters to discuss.”

-

“I’m going to assume it didn’t go well.” Jim emerges from his bathroom to find Carol sprawled across his sofa.

And hell, it happened. It happened to him and Jim can’t help but laugh. He bursts out with a chuckle that is only halfway bitter. He shakes his head with a smile and moves her feet off the sofa. “That is probably the understatement of the century.” He flops down into the space where her feet previously were, only to end up with a lapful of boots. “Were you listening in?”

“Of course.” Carol grins up at him, looking strange with her head tilted awkwardly off the couch. “Do you honestly think I’d let you go into that alone?”

Jim, once again, can’t keep the smile off of his face. As stupid as his life might be, he has at least one friend. “So, any big threats coming that you know of?”

Carol purses her lips in thought. “None that come to mind at this moment.”

“Good.” Jim pushes her feet off his lap and effectively flips her onto the ground. “That means we can probably keep the old man out of our little group for a while.” He props his feet up on the coffee table and rubs at his temples. As glad as he is that the whole ordeal is over (for today), it’s left him with the worst headache that he can remember.

And he didn’t even get a cup of coffee before the whole thing. “Damn you, Carol Marcus.” He shakes a fist at her on the ground.

“What on Earth did I do?” She looks up at him with an air of mock indignation. “I’ve been a perfect lady.”

“You made me spill my coffee this morning.”

Carol’s face drops into the expression Jim like’s to call ‘you’re a fucking idiot, Jim’ and she pushes herself to her feet. “For a world class spy and assassin, you sure are lame.” She walks into the kitchen and sets about the familiar routine of making his coffee for him. “I’m not doing this because you’re making me feel guilty.”

“Of course not. Why would you do that?” Jim turns off his aides and lies back on the couch, content to simply smell the coffee brewing and let Carol alert him when it’s done. God knows she has tactics (painful tactics) that she likes to use.

-

“The Avengers?” George frowns. 

Pike sighs and rolls his eyes. “They picked the name themselves. Earths mightiest heroes and all.” He leans back in his chair. “So, do you think you can help us out?”

George considers it for what is probably not an appropriate amount of time. He doesn’t actually care, though. This is a big decision. Being a super soldier during a war is one thing. 

Joining a team of superheroes? Well, that’s a whole different bucket of cats.

“Jim is part of this?” He can’t help but ask. He has motives. 

“Yes.”

George stares Pike in the eye. “And they are good at what they do? They’re professionals?”

Pike laughs and shakes his head. “Not professionals by any means but they are good at helping people. Don’t let them know I said this, but they’re probably the best people for that job.”

George takes a deep breath, steeling himself for what is probably the stupidest decision he has ever made. “I’ll do it.”

The flood of relief that washes over Pike is obvious. “Welcome aboard, Captain.”


	3. Chapter 3

“You should really invest in a brush. Or a razor.”

Enter Joanna Elizabeth McCoy. Daughter of Leonard Horatio McCoy and Jocelyn Jim-doesn’t-actually-know-what-her-middle-name-is Darnell, she has inherited the most absolutely terrifying genetics of any human being that Jim has ever encountered. She’s sixteen years old; too smart for her own good; can shoot a man in the eye with an arrow from a million miles away; and is just plain mean sometimes to boot. He’s not entirely sure how he ended up stuck with her (okay he has a lot of ideas and could probably come up with the correct answer if he tried) but now he’s got this particularly mean teenage girl as an apprentice of sorts. 

And Jim should really not be used as a mentor in any capacity. Ever.

She’s currently sprawled out across Jim’s sofa (because why would anyone knock? No, barging right into his home makes perfect sense) with her feet tapping out the rhythm to a song that is probably “indie” and which has a ridiculous amount of mandolin in it. Electric mandolin from the sound of it. Her ash blonde hair is piled into a bun on top of her head with her bangs swept across her forehead in what is probably a very stylish fashion. Either that or she’s growing them out and needs them to be like that in order to see. And it would seem her nose is broken.

“I’m making coffee.” He grumbles at her with a vague hand gesture. “Nice bandage.”

Jo swings her legs so that she’s sitting like a normal human being and grins at him. “Yeah! We’re like twins!” She reaches for the stereo remote on the coffee table and turns down the noise. “You know, I’m surprised you’re, you know, keeping your aides on today.” She screws up her face. “I had to learn fluent sign language for you. Who’s keeping you like this?”

If it were anyone else, he’d probably be at least a little bit offended. (Or a lot offended. He can practically hear Bones calling him a dramatic brat.) But it’s Joanna and she did learn sign language for him. She knows about his headaches. She knows that when Jim’s at home, he likes to keep them off, as bitter as he might be about his entire life. This is Joanna Elizabeth McCoy and she’s had his number since day one. “My father is alive and Pike is probably going to call me soon.”

He’s trying to make it seem like Not A Big Deal because it is not. It isn’t. Jim will not let it be. This change of circumstances will not change his life. At all.

And because Joanna McCoy is an amazing person who he wants to kidnap and/or adopt, she just raises an eyebrow at him and says “Huh. Well that’s different.” 

Jim just shrugs and grabs some mugs. “Black?” He asks. There’s no reason to because he already knows. Jo breaks into his house and steals his coffee often enough to know that she likes it black and strong. Just like her father. “So, how’d your dad react to the nose thing?”

Jo groans and takes one of the mugs from Jim. “He bitched about it for hours, what do you think?” She sips the coffee and winces. “Seriously, why do you insist on making such shitty coffee? Anyway, I’m pretty sure the only reason that I’m not grounded or dead right now is because this happened while I was working a case with Marcus. Also he’s a sucker for the puppy eyes.”

Jim grimaces at her. Her father can be brutal. Leonard McCoy is many things but patient with people who cause Joanna to get hurt is not one of them. Which means that he’s angry with Joanna more days than not. If she wasn’t his daughter and Bones didn’t love her so much, Jim would fear for her life. As it is, she’s done nothing but adopt her father’s attitude toward life. 

Of course as much as he seems like a bitter and terrifying asshole, Jim has grown…attached to the guy. “I, uh, haven’t seen Bones in a while.”

“Oh, he says sorry that he hasn’t been over in a while but he’s been dealing with an off planet situation with a raccoon and a tree and he’ll be over as soon as possible.”

Jim brightens a bit. “Cool.” He won’t grin like an idiot. He’s stronger than that.

“Also he loves you.” Joanna says offhandedly. “And he thinks lilies are the best choice for the wedding. Compliment your eyes.”

Jim spits out the shitty coffee and gawps at her. “What?” He can feel his face flood with red as the realization that she was, of course, joking sinks in. 

He probably realizes this because she’s cackling like a maniac and looks like she might actually fall over. “Idiot.”

“Shut up. Brat.”

-

“This is Leonard McCoy.” Pike pushes the man in question towards a certain formerly dead hero. “Head of the Avengers initiative. Sort of the second in command around here.”

Leo can’t help but narrow his eyes at George. If he’s being introduced to the guy already, and without Jim, it can only mean something bad happened with Jim. “Nice to meet you, Mister Kirk.” He sticks his hand out.

“I’m looking forward to working with you. It’s a pleasure.” George shoots him a grin that looks creepily familiar and takes his hand. “Pike here has been telling me all about your team.”

Leo nods at him curtly. “Well, I’m sure the rest of the team is hanging around somewhere, why don’t we meet them?” He turns on his heel and starts walking down the hall. Hopefully George is competent enough to get the hint and follow him.

It’s Uhura who finds them first, wearing a V-neck t-shirt that leaves a sliver of her arc reactor showing. She looks ready to either start mocking them or spewing a list of “needs” at him. Leonard resists the urge to pinch the bridge of his nose and groan. “Hey, Leo! So, I was thinking about a possible project I could work on with Spock and it would be super simple but we just need-“

“Oh my God, shut up.” Leo holds up a hand to silence her. Surprisingly, it works. “This is George Kirk. He might be joining your team.”

Nyota raises her eyebrows in what is clearly fake surprise. Knowing her, she has probably hacked into all of the computers and security cameras with Marcus and knows more than even he does. “And how does Kirk feel about this?” When presented with a curious look from George, she just rolls her eyes. “I mean the real Kirk.” She clarifies unapologetically. 

“Jim is…warming up to the idea.” Pike cuts in. Leo can tell from the tight smile the man has forced across his face that the encounter did not go according to plan. 

To be fair, it was an incredibly stupid plan that was not well through in any universe. Springing the whole “Your father is alive and walking around” thing on Jim without significant warning? Not going to go well.

Hell, even if the kid had some warning, it still probably would not have gone over well. “Have you talked to Jim’s brother yet? He might be able to talk some sense into the kid.”

Pike opens and closes his mouth a few times, as if he realizes each time that what he’s about to say will definitely make Leo think he’s an idiot.

He’s probably right.

“Brother?” A slightly higher pitched than natural George Kirk pipes up and oh, Leo had almost forgotten that the man could talk. “I have another son?”

Leo and Pike both shout “No!” at the same time while Nyota is reduced to cackling at what’s happening. Asshole millionaires (billionaire? Who can keep track.) can never be trusted to support loved ones in times of need. Or even their supervisors.

George crosses his arms across his chest defensively. “Well then why did you say something about Jim’s ‘brother’?” 

Uhura pats his arm in a more than slightly patronizing manor. “See, Jim actually had to have a surrogate mother in order to exist. When he was born, they sort of halfway adopted him. They have two other sons.” She shrugs. “He spent most of his childhood with the S’chn T’gai family. He’s sort of their third son.”

“S’chn T’gai?” George stumbles over the name, not able to properly pronounce it. Not that he’s really to be blamed. No one outside the family can pronounce it besides Uhura. (And yes, he is counting Jim as being part of the family.)

Pike shifts his weight uncomfortably. He obviously was not planning on talking about this particular facet of the Avengers quite yet. “His father…isn’t from here.” 

“What do you mean?”

“He means that his father is an alien. Came from space and everything during the late seventies.” Leo chimes in, altogether sick of bullshitting and beating around the bush. “Hardly anyone noticed because that’s how Vulcans are.” He shrugs.

George’s eyebrows shoot up towards his hairline impressively. “My son was raised by aliens?”

Leo and Nyota purse their lips in twin expressions of skepticism. “Is he really your son, though?” The woman feels the need to add.

Leo jumps in before George can actually get angry at her for being herself. She’s always been the blunt type and it could definitely get her into a lot of trouble at some point. “The mother, Amanda, is human. She’s the one who carried Jim. Wonderful woman. Sharp as a tack and protective as hell of her sons.”

George nods, looking more than a little bit dazed. Leo can hardly blame the guy, it’s a lot to take in. “And her other sons?”

“Spock and Sybok. Sybok isn’t actually hers, except by adoption. Illegitimate child of Sarek’s and all. Spock is half human, though, and he’s…interesting.”

“Interesting?”

Nyota grabs Kirk’s elbow and starts leading the group down the hall towards the labs. “He’s actually here. Why don’t you see for yourself?”

-

“So there’s this girl…” Joanna starts when they’ve finally given up on training and are sitting on Jim’s couch and watching tv. 

Jim groans and throws a pillow at her face. “No. I am not going to help you sneak out and go on a date with some girl again.” 

“Can you at least talk to Dad, then?” She pouts at him and hugs the pillow to her chest. She’s trying to work the charm that she uses on Bones.

It does not work on Jim. “Can you stop acting like I’m your father?” He sighs and runs a hand through his hair. He’s begun to wonder if he might actually be her fake father at this point. They spend enough time together to warrant the title.

And he does sort of have a “thing” with Bones…

“Please, the two of you are practically married. Just because you insist upon calling it a ‘friends with benefits’ situations doesn’t make it true.” She throws the pillow back at him, clearly recognizing that, no, the charm wasn’t going to work here. He can appreciate her effort, for what it’s worth.

She never does give up on the McCoy charm. Mixed with the special Kirk-ness that she’s picked up from Jim, Joanna McCoy is practically unstoppable. Arguably the most terrifying Avenger and she isn’t even an official part of the team.

“It’s totally true. Bones is my best friend.”

“If by best friend you mean boyfriend.”

“Really don’t need this from you.”

“Did I ask if you need it?”

“You’re such a brat. I should kick you out.”

Joanna levels him with a glare that looks so much like her father Jim is slightly terrified. “Please try to do that. It would make my day.”

-

“Hey, it’s Jim’s dad!” Scotty strolls out of the secondary lab, followed closely by Sulu and Chekov. “I didn’t know you were out of the ice cube yet!” His accent makes him sound a lot happier than anyone else in the whole room.

Sulu, of course, surges forward to shake George’s hand enthusiastically. “Captain, it is a real honor to meet you. My grandfather worked with you and he has told us so many stories. I am so happy that we are going to be working together.” The grin on his face reaches ridiculous levels as he continues to shake his hand.

“Nice to meet you, Mister…” George trails off, searching for the agent’s name.

“Sulu. Agent Hikaru Sulu. I’m sort of McCoy’s right hand with the Avengers. When he’s dealing with other idiots scattered across the world and galaxy, I’m the one who works more directly with you guys.” He grins and nods at George, altogether far too happy about everything. 

George points at McCoy. “I thought your main assignment was the Avengers.”

“Please, kid. If that was all I had to deal with, I wouldn’t have all these gray hairs in my thirties.” Leo runs a hand through his hair. “I’m Pike’s number two, so I get tagged to help out with anything he needs. I also am in charge of all super-human behavior anywhere we are watching. Make sure they aren’t going to blow up Denmark or anything.”

George, probably reeling from being called ‘kid’ by someone who is technically about sixty to seventy years his junior, just nods. “That sounds…important.”

“It is.”

It is at this point that Spock of all people saves Leonard from further awkward conversation. “George Kirk, it is pleasing to make your acquaintance.” He keeps his hands clasped firmly behind his back. 

Thankfully, George takes the cue and doesn’t try to shake his hand. “And you are Spock, I assume?” Leo can see him trying to subtly eye the pointed ears of the scientist.

He fails to be subtle, of course.

“Yes, I see that you have already been informed about my heritage.” Spock inclines his head toward McCoy. “I thank you, Leonard.”

“Anytime.”

Spock raises an eyebrow at Leo. “Is he also aware of my relation to his son?”

Leo chuckles and nods. Leave it to Spock to opt for conversation with the person with whom he is most familiar. And of course, that’s only really because they both have close relationships with Jim.

Very different relationships but close, nonetheless. 

“Yes, he knows that your family has already called dibs on arrow boy.” 

“We have not ‘called dibs’, we have simply raised James from birth and are considered by many to be his only family.” 

George makes a noise of mild protest and Leo decides that right now is probably not the time to be having conversations like this. He’s not even sure when that time will be but he’s going to push this as far into the future as possible. “Why don’t we get you acquainted with everyone?”

George nods at him and Leo waves his hands at the other people in the room. “Go ahead, idiots.”

“Nyota Uhura. Iron Woman.” She smiles and pats him on the shoulder. “Basically I put on a weapon suit.” She wanders off into the secondary lab, clearly not interested enough to stick around for the rest of the introductions.

Scotty jumps forward next. “Montgomery Scott. Falcon.” He bounces on his toes slightly and shakes George’s hand too hard. “Built myself a pair of wings. Do what you do, only a tad bit slower.”

George lets a grin crack across his face. “Well, Mister Scott, I am looking forward to training with you particularly. Perhaps a race or two?”

“Cap, you are on.”

Spock nods at George. “Doctor Spock S’ch T’gai. I work with gamma radiation and other such things.”

Leo lets out a noise and draws attention to himself. “Spock? Codename Hulk. He turns into a giant green rage monster when he lets himself. Apparently all that gamma radiation doesn’t mix too well with his particular heritage.” When he sees the slightly visible irritation radiating off of the Vulcan, he quickly corrects himself. “But when he isn’t doing that, he’s arguably the most brilliant people here. He and Uhura have done amazing work here.”

“Indeed.” Spock turns on his heel and goes to presumably join his not-girlfriend in the lab. 

George lets out a low whistle. “That guy? A giant green rage monster?”

“You should see it.”

Chekov, last of all, makes his move to greet the captain. “It is a pleasure to finally meet the man who is responsible for James’ existence.” Yet another accent that will probably make it difficult for George to understand. “I am Chekov. You may know me by several other names, however.”

“Such as?”

Chekov smiles modestly. “I am most commonly known in Norse mythology as Thor. I can be found in many other cultures by different names, however.”

Leo can’t help but laugh out loud at the way George’s eyes bug out of his head. Clearly someone learned their mythology in school. “Thor? Seriously?”

Chekov nods and his curls bounce around his head. “Da, but this is not my real name. I am called Chekov on my home planet.”

“He’s Russian.” George stated the obvious. “And, like, twelve.”

“Asgardian and ridiculously old.” Leonard retorts. 

“Okay.” George shrugs. “I suppose if I can be frozen in ice for seventy years, all these people can be…who they are.” 

“And now you’re part of all this.”

-

Jim and Joanna are staring at each other and trying to decide what toppings to get on their pizza when Carol bursts in.

Now, Jim is no stranger to Carol bursting into his home. She’s been doing it since she found out where he lived and it does not have a specific reason most times. She breaks into his home to talk about Chinese food or her alarm clock or a boy who hit on her and whom she proceeded to simply hit.

This time, however, Jim can tell it is not a meaningless visit. Her hair is pulled back into a severe ponytail and her face is flushed red. There’s a sort of wild look in her eyes that can only mean something from her past has come back to find her.

And Jim has seen enough of that to understand why she could possibly be so terrified. Sure, Carol is protected but the only real reason she hasn’t been killed or kidnapped is because they didn’t want to yet.

“Jim, it’s Khan. He’s been spotted in town and I don’t know what he’s planning.” Carol’s voice shakes as she tries to explain what’s happening.

For all that she is tough as nails and never one to back down from a fight, Carol can be broken down by a few things. Khan and anything Area 31 are those things. “Carol, it might not have anything to do with you.” He says it even though they both know it isn’t true.

If Khan didn’t want Carol, she would already know his plan. The only reason he would hide himself so well that she could not find out what he was doing would be if he were looking for Carol and had something planned for her. “Jim, we need to get to McCoy and Pike. Like, now.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!! SOrry it's been so long. Just school and everything is the worst. Stressful beyond belief.
> 
> Anyway, I hope you like the new chapter!

Carol was adopted into the S.H.I.E.L.D. family because Jim is actually the worst assassin in the history of assassins. Carol was too good at batting her eyelashes and Jim was an emotionally compromised idiot.

He’s lucky it worked out so well because it could have easily ended up with everyone dead.

Carol was employed and trained by her father’s “organization” Area 31 in England. She had not even known that it existed until she was fifteen years old and found out why she had been trained in everything her father had made her be. 

S.H.I.E.L.D. didn’t know about it until about six months after that when Carol made her first kill: A dignitary from a nation she hadn’t been allowed to know the name of visiting Washington DC. She had never been outside of England before then. 

With the combination of constant intense training and a dedication that can only come from being Alexander Marcus’ daughter, Carol was allowed to quickly rise through the ranks of Area 31. Of course, this in no wise meant that she was allowed any sort of access to information beyond what she needed immediately to complete her missions. She was effectively kept as blind as possible.

Her ascension in the world of assassinations and espionage at such a young age meant, of course, that there were eyes on her at all times. As much as she was told that her father was keeping her safe, she couldn’t help but feel the people following her at “safe distances.”

She was too good at what she did. There was no such thing as a safe distance.

Area 31 was working towards a goal that Carol was not sure of and could never seem to piece together but all she knew was that she was playing a vital role. And that her father didn’t care if she ended up dead before they reached the end.

Still, despite the fact that she was being kept in the dark, Carol had always been smarter than most people. That was the entire reason that her father decided to train her up to fight for him. She was able to divine that Alexander and Khan, the other head of 31, wanted to start some sort of war and that it would surely be something devastating worldwide. 

Of course, she didn’t know any better than to think that it was the right choice. Her father was all that she had and she had to believe that what he wanted was what would ultimately be best for her. 

By the time she was eighteen years old, Carol was on the most wanted lists of at least seven different countries, all of them at a loss as to what her name actually was and instead using the pseudonym “Black Widow” in place of a real identity. 

Years passed and Carol did the same things over and over again. She was sent to remote locations to kill, get information, get out. Her access to any sort of computer was monitored to a degree that it made her actually want to break in and find out what was happening. She was a good soldier. 

If most of her clothes ended up stained a brown-red and her fingernails almost always had blood beneath them, it was an occupational hazard. It wasn’t even the most dangerous one. She counted herself lucky.

Her entire world was narrowed down to the hunt. She lived solely for the thrill of aiming and pulling the trigger. Of breaking into databases and retrieving information that she should not have. Of contributing to a cause that she didn’t understand but couldn’t not support. Carol was the very definition of a junkie if the drug was seeing a man fall because of how good she was at her job.

That was power.

That was control.

-

“Do you know where he’s staying?” Jim comes back from his bedroom with a laptop and sets it up. “We can probably get some idea of what the big picture is if we know what area he might be targeting.”

Carol shakes her head and clasps her hands together in a white knuckled grip. “I saw him getting out of a car across the street from my place.” 

“Can you remember what he had with him? Or who?” 

Her pacing pauses for a half second before she’s back at it, wearing a track in Jim’s floor. “He wasn’t carrying anything. He didn’t have anything or anyone with him. He was just…there.”

Jim watches as she sinks down onto the couch next to him, burying her face in her hands. “Oh god, Jim. He’s here for me. I just know it.” She runs her hands through her hair, still keeping her head down. “I knew this was going to happen. I just knew that this would happen one day and god, I thought I had some time before it all went to shit, honestly.”

Jim placed a tentative hand on her back. When she didn’t jerk away or try to cut his hand off, he started rubbing small circles between her shoulder blades. “Carol, we’ll figure this out. We have a whole government agency full of people that would rather die than let you go back to them.”

“I only got a year. What did I even do?” Carol continues on, completely ignoring Jim’s comforting words. “All I did was sit here and enjoy some relative safety and a cushy lifestyle.”

And Jim has just about had it with that kind of talk. He grabs her by the shoulder and makes her look him in the eye. “You’ve done plenty of good, Carol. A stupid amount, really. Stop it with this ‘redeeming yourself’ bullshit. You don’t need redemption.”

Carol lets out a watery laugh and wipes at her eyes. This is a side of her that only Jim ever really gets to see as she has yet to really trust anyone to know her that well. She keeps herself pretty well locked up for the most part, using emotions as interrogation techniques rather than letting herself really feel things. Oddly enough, she trusts the guy they sent to kill her more than anyone else. “Oh, Jim. Why did I ever let you stop dating me?”

Jim shakes his head, relieved that she’s on her way back to normal. “Because we were an awful couple?” He pats her cheek affectionately. “Honestly, Carol, you’re great and I would totally have your babies but we do not work well together at all.”

She nods and grins. “I think I can agree with that. Not to mention the fact that you’re basically married to McCoy.”

“But you’re good when I need to pretend I am dating someone, so there’s that.” Jim suddenly realizes what she’d said and chokes on the air. “Oh my god, why does everyone say that we’re married?”

Of course this is the moment at which Joanna reemerges from the bathroom with a snarky smirk on her face. “Because you practically are. I should start calling you Dad, really.”

“Do not call me that.”

“Would you prefer Papa? Father? Daddy-o? Optimus Prime?” She responds easily without missing a beat. “I could go on.”

“I am not married to Bones! He is my best friend!” Jim shrieks and resists the urge to actually shove his face into a pillow. 

“Your best friend who you happen to sleep with all the time and go on dates with.” Carol seems to have bounced back nicely from her small meltdown a few minutes ago because now she’s joined the Joanna McCoy Team for Making Jim Uncomfortable.

Who is he kidding? That’s basically the alternate title for the avengers.

“It’s gross but true.” Joanna shrugs and raises an eyebrow. “You’re my dad’s boyfriend.”

“Speaking of Bones, Carol should probably call him and we should get over there, like, now.” He rises from the couch and heads back to his bedroom to put on some real clothes for once in his life. “I mean it. Get to work, chop chop.”

-

S.H.I.E.L.D had been watching Carol for quite some time before they sent Jim out to kill her. Since her first high profile hit, they’d been working day and night to figure out who she was, who she worked for, and who her next target might be.

It took them six years to catch up with her. Six years in which Carol killed who her father told her to, collected mountains of classified information, and generally did what she was told by two men who were most certainly maniacs.

As soon as they did catch up with her and managed to figure out who she was going to try to kill before she got the chance, they started prepping a twenty two year old Jim to take out a twenty one year old Carol. 

He was supposed to go to London and do a whole “honey pot” routine before finally either getting her to America for interrogation or taking her out. It was a simple plan. Jim’s strengths had always lay in the area of seducing women, even without the higher tech hearing aides he would get in a year. The previous pair they had had him use had not been working out and his cover worked better without them, anways.

What could he say? The deaf angle was just too easy to play.

It was actually surprisingly easy to do, when it got down to it. Jim managed to make himself seem like a harmless Uni student who happened to hang out at the coffee shop Carol frequented. Carol happened to get tea spilled all over herself when he “accidentally” tripped her. And Jim is just too charming for his own good.

She was an aspiring ballerina and he was a future engineer and they were in love except for the fact that they both knew the other would kill them if given the chance. Carol was under no illusion about who Jim was, despite what she led him to think.

He would be lying if he said that he didn’t fall at least a little bit in love with Carol. She was pretty and almost as charming as Jim himself. She only laughed when he got tea on her favorite blouse and was always finding him before he could find her. Jim would have to actually have been dead to not fall for that.

When the day came that Jim thought he would have to either drug her or kill her, Jim was met with more than a little bit of a shock. He was met with an extremely nervous looking Carol on his doorstep at three in the morning. He hadn’t gotten to sleep yet at that point and was on his third pot of coffee and fifth video call with Pike so he answered the door with only slightly red eyes.

“Carol?” He slurred out, scrubbing a hand over his eyes. He raised them to sign at her. [[What are you doing here?]]

In lieu of an answer, she pushed past him into his apartment. Over her shoulder was slung a small backpack. Jim could only stand by and watch as she barged in and threw herself on the couch. [[I am not going to let you kill me.]]

Jim gaped at her, letting his brain catch up to what he’d really known all along: Carol was not fooled. Carol could never be fooled by something so simple. She was the very definition of a honey pot. “So…are you going to kill me?”

A laugh. [[Oh God, no.]] She threw her backpack to him. [[Look in there and tell me if I am going to kill you.]]

He caught the bag and unzipped it. Nothing in there except a worn paperback copy of Alice in Wonderland, a journal, and some toiletries. Not any weapons, as far as he could tell.

But this was Carol Marcus. She was the queen of disguising things as every day objects. He tossed the bag back to her. [[You and I both know that that]] He waved toward the bag. [[Does not tell me a single thing.]]

[[Look,]] Carol started, seeming tired of it already and really? They were about three minutes into being honest with each other. This should not be that boring. [[I need to get out of here. Something is about to go down and I would rather be on the side of people who would care if I die.]] She shrugs. [[As for the bag? The less I take with me, the less conspicuous I am.]]

Of course there was nothing romantic about the situation. Carol was all about self-preservation. Still, Jim couldn’t help but feel just a little bit disappointed. Sure, he’d been pretending to be someone else with the sole purpose of kidnapping her for interrogation but he’d thought that they had at least had some sort connection. [[Of course.]]

[[Will you take me with you?]]

[[I don’t know if Pike will really go for that.]]

Carol sighed and ran her hands through her hair, letting her frustrations slip through the cracks. [[I will get out of here, whether or not I have your help.]]

[[Why do you need to so badly?]]

[[Khan.]] Carol met his eyes with the most serious look he’d ever seen coming from her. [[He’s going to kill my father, he’s going to kill me, and then he’s going to kill you. And everyone in your stupid little agency.]]

Jim froze and scanned Carol’s face, looking for any sign of a lie. [[How does taking you with me keep us alive?]]

Carol shrugged. [[My father will think he has the best shot at finding me. Khan will believe him. They won’t make a move until they are sure their secrets are safe.]]

[[And they’ve told you all of their secrets?]]

[[No.]]

[[You’re not giving me much to go off of, Carol.]]

[[They didn’t tell me, I found out. I’m better at my job than everyone seems to think.]]

Jim let out a short laugh. [[Oh, I do not pretend to doubt you.]]

[[They won’t start until they have me. It’s all up to you.]]

Jim frowned and ran a hand through his hair. Here was a woman who should not be trusted under any circumstances. She had killed countless people and held the great political secrets of the world in a twenty one year old brain. She was too smart for Jim, too smart for Pike. Hell, Carol was too smart for herself. [[I will try. But we should at least pretend that I drugged you. Others might not be as trusting as I am.]]

[[Whatever you say.]]

-

When Jim reemerged wearing jeans and a purple v-neck tee, he found Carol worrying her nail beds with her teeth and Joanna leaning against the counter, talking to someone on the phone.

“Dad, calm down.” She sighs and rolls her eyes. “Yes, we’ll be over there soon. No, we haven’t seen him around here.” 

Jim smiles at her and grabs his backpack. He strides over to Carol and slugs her on the arm. “Come on, princess. We’ve gotta get you to Pike and McCoy.”

“Because your boyfriend is such a comfort to me always.” She smiles at him with only a hint of sarcasm. [[No offense, Jim, but he kind of sucks at the whole bedside manner thing. Great with defense, horrible with people that he’s not trying to kill.]]

Jim just shrugs and raises his hands. He crosses his arms over his chest and hooks his fingers by his clavicles. [[Bones,]] He lets himself smile a bit. [[Is the worst when it comes to little problems but he’s good when you really need him to be.]]

[[I’m sure he is.]] Carol smirks at him. 

[[I hate you.]]

[[No you do not.]]

Joanna hung up the phone and turned back to them with a groan. “Dad is freaking out.”

Carol laughs and shakes her head. “Of course he is. That’s kind of his thing.”

“He wants us to get over there. Like, now.” She strides across the room and looks out the window. “He’s sending a car. It should be here in about ten seconds, if I know him. Which I do.”

“Please, we all know what that man is like.” 

Jim harrumphs and crosses his arms. “He’s not that bad.”

“Oh, don’t get all in a tizzy trying to defend your boyfriend’s honor.” Carol pats him on the arm. “We all love Leonard well enough. He’s just an asshole.”

Joanna snorts. “That’s putting it lightly.” 

“He’s your father! Aren’t you supposed to love him or something?” 

Joanna rolls her eyes again and Jim swears if she does that one more time, her eyes will actually fall out of her head. “I do love him. More than anything, really. He’s just an asshole and ridiculously protective.”

Teenagers.

“Okay, okay, we need to get going. Like, now.” Carol pulls them both by the elbows toward the door.

“Wait!” Jim breaks away and runs back towards his bedroom. “I need to get the boomerang arrows.”

Joanna groans and pinches the bridge of her nose. “The boomerang arrows? Really? You are obsessed, Kirk.”

Jim looks around his room for the weapons Scotty had delivered just last week. He was sure he put them in there somewhere. 

He spies them beside the window and vaults over the bed to grab them.

“You won’t be so skeptical when you’re in the middle of an Earth-ending battle and you run out of arrows!” He calls back from his room as he shoulders the quiver of said arrows. “Then you won’t be laughing at the boomerangs!”

Whatever Joanna says in response is lost on Jim. A loud bang sounds from across the street and Jim hits the ground as the windows beside him shatter. He feels the glass fall around him, dusting his skin like snow. 

After everything has settled, Jim looks up at the ceiling. He strains his ears, trying to hear something, anything. 

He opens his mouth to call for Carol and Joanna but he cannot seem to hear himself yelling, much less divine their responses. He pulls the black square remote out of his pocket and smashes at the buttons, trying to turn the aides back on but nothing seems to work. He can’t hear anything.

For the first time in over a year, Jim’s world is completely silent.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, comments are love


	5. Chapter 5

Jim lies on his back and stares up at the ceiling. Particles of dust and whatever it was that got blown up across the street swirl around, caught in beams of light that stream in through what used to be windows but are now just empty frames.

If he could hear anything at all, he supposes he would hear Carol and Joanna calling for him. There would be the distant sounds of panic and general chaos amongst the hoi pollois but at least he would know what was happening instead of lying on the floor completely helplessly. 

Either the aides failed or his ears finally gave out. Neither option is all that appealing to Jim at the moment. And really, the second option is more likely, seeing how nothing that Nyota Uhura has ever made has failed because of a loud noise. Certainly not one of her passion projects.

The time seems to stretch on for a few eternities while he waits. Waits for someone or something to give him a clue as to what exactly is happening. Helpless is a bit of an understatement in this situation. Even if he is a “superhero” (a term which he detests with a passion), being deafened after finally getting used to hearing is a bit disorienting. He’s only human.

Apparently news reached S.H.I.E.L.D. pretty quickly because it’s not Joanna or Carol who comes for him first, it’s Gaila with her bouncy red curls pulled back in a ponytail. She’s wearing a mask over her mouth and nose to keep any detritus from entering her airways and the leafy tattoos that cover her arms and shoulders are peeking up over the collar of her black jumpsuit.

Jim feels like a big deal. Gaila is one of the big dogs of the agency. She almost never goes to aide in the actual act of cleanup, choosing instead to stay at HQ and direct the efforts. Last time she went out herself was when he and Carol almost got Budapest destroyed because that was just a mess.

She pulls her mask down and her mouth moves, obviously trying to talk to him but apparently Jim hit his head on the floor harder than he thought because he can’t seem to make out the words. He shakes his head and winces at the mass of sharp pain that has replaced his brain. [[I can’t hear you.]]

Gaila’s face screws up in confusion before she realizes what Jim is actually trying to say. She sits back on her heels. [[We need to get you back to SHIELD.]]

Jim pushes himself up into a sitting position with a slight groan. [[Do we know what happened?]]

[[The building across the street has a giant hole in it. What do you think happened?]]

[[Does Bones know yet?]]

Gaila’s face softens into an exasperated smile. Her shoulders shake slightly. [[Who do you think sent me?]]

She stands up and brushes the dust off of her jumpsuit. She extends a hand down to help Jim up. He takes it, allowing her to pull him to his feet with a surprising amount of strength for someone of her size. [[How are Carol and Joanna?]]

[[Already in the car.]] Gaila gestures toward the bedroom door with a flourish. [[Come along.]]

Jim offers up a meek smile and walks out of the room but not without sparing a last glance back at the shattered glass that covers the floor.

The main living area of the apartment is in a similar state. Everything seems to be covered in a fine sparkling dust that would be pretty if it wasn’t for the fact that said dust was in fact debris from an attack on innocent people.

Jim had been called many things but he was not stupid enough to believe that an explosion like that could possibly be victimless.

Once he steps out of the building, Gaila ushers him away from the mass hysteria that is a police and fire blockade. People are pressing forward against the barriers and threatening to knock over the cops that are enforcing them.

He is shoved into a sleek black town car that is probably bullet proof, missile proof, and everything else-proof. Joanna and Carol’s eyes search his face but he does not feel like answering any of their questions, sign or otherwise. His head is pounding with a beat similar to the song that Joanna was blasting over his sound system just hours ago. He closes his eyes and lets himself drift off to sleep.

-

It is not uncommon to see Leonard Horatio McCoy get worked up. Nyota has seen it countless times before and she does not expect him to have a sudden personality change any time soon. He’s mercurial, to say the least. 

But this? This is like nothing she has ever seen coming from the man. This is full-blown screaming and yelling, red in the face, panicked freak out mode. This is McCoy in his purest form.

It would be entertaining if it weren’t for the fact that it’s all because Jim and Joanna are in danger. She may not be the Jim’s biggest fan but she does care for him. They all do. Jim is an idiot but a good man. He’s also the adoptive brother of her almost-boyfriend so she’s basically obligated to like him. 

 

There isn’t a single person involved with shield that doesn’t care about Joanna. 

“God damn idiots should have come here as soon as they saw that man! They should have gotten the fuck out and gone somewhere safe. That man is a brutal monster and they-“

“Should have known better, should have saved themselves, should have been twelve steps ahead of the game.” Nyota cuts in and places a hand on Leonard’s arm in what she hopes is a soothing gesture. “Leonard, it’s okay to just be worried about them.”

Leonard’s shoulders seem to slump with the weight of it all. Nyota cannot even begin to imagine what he could possibly be feeling. Spock does not exactly have a tendency to get himself into situations like this. “I’m not worried about them, I’m worried about the implications of this attack. We cannot have Khan and his crew running loose on this city.”

She sighs and pushes him down into the closest chair. “Sit there and do not pace for any reason. I’m going to go call Carol and find out what’s going on.”

A weak nod from Leonard serves as his response. He stares at his hands, clasped in his lap presumably to stop them shaking. Uhura offers up a hopeful look before exiting the conference room.

Serendipitously, her phone starts ringing just as she’s pulling it out of her pocket. Carol. “Hey, how’re Jim and Jo?”

“They’re alright. Jim’s a bit scraped up but otherwise intact, I think. He’s asleep right now.” She pauses. “Is there any reason we’re taking the long way around?”

“We don’t want to risk an attack on the car. They’re taking the longer route because somehow that will protect you guys from a criminal mastermind.”

“One can only hope.” A deep breath. “Ny, can you tell McCoy that I’m sorry? This is all my fault. If I hadn’t made Jim-“

If Nyota could slap her friend through the phone, she would. “This is not your fault, Carol. You did nothing wrong when you got yourself out of there. You saved yourself, pure and simple. The actions of a madman have nothing to do with you.”

“I can’t help but think I put you all in danger.”

“You saved us from a lot more danger. We’re prepared for this.”

“I’m still sorry.”

“Well then the best thing you can do is get here and help us.”

Nyota hangs up with more concern for Carol than she’d felt when the girl was first brought to S.H.I.E.L.D. Of course, last time it was more of a fear of New York being brought to its knees in a fiery explosion. 

It’s a bit more personal now. 

-

Jim is brought back to consciousness by a hard shove from Joanna. He jerks awake and sits up, rubbing at his neck. He turns to Jo with a tight smile.

It takes him far too long to figure out why they’re staring at him with looks of confusion and horror. [[My aides broke.]] He pushes open the door of the car and gets out, still trying to avoid conversations on the subject. 

Gaila and her team usher them into the building and to their usual conference room. He sees Bones sitting there, staring at his hands, and his heart lurches into his throat.

He wants to run over there and grab his hands, tell him that every time he stares down the barrel of a gun, he thinks of him. He wants to quit this whole ‘we’re nothing more than friends’ thing because it hasn’t been true for Jim for a long time. 

Of course, before he can even seriously consider doing any of that, Joanna shoves past him and runs over to the man. She hauls her father up onto his feet and pulls him into the tightest hug Jim has ever seen her give anyone.

All he can do is stand in the doorway and watch the reunion and ruminate on the fact that if Bones wanted to really be with him, he would be. Leonard McCoy is not one for playing games and running around.

A hand on Jim’s shoulder startles him out of his pity-party. He jumps slightly and whirls around to find George Kirk standing behind him with a concerned expression. His mouth moves in what Jim thinks is an “Are you okay?”

He could be a nice guy and actually try to speak to his father. He was forced to learn to talk as a child by school teachers, so he could do it. But he promised himself he’d never put himself through that whole mess again so he just signs in response, knowing full well that George won’t understand. [[I can’t hear.]]

George’s eyebrows knit together. It looks very similar to an expression that Jim has seen on his own face. More proof that this man is his biological father.

But even that cannot change the fact that he’s not Jim’s Dad. Sarek was the only father figure he had for twenty seven years. George kirk does not get to waltz onto the scene and try to replace that.

George continues to stare at Jim for a few moments before Jim finally decides to go face his best friend. He turns on his heel and marches away, the eyes of the Captain still glued to his back.

He would give anything to be the one frozen in a slab of ice at this point. 

As soon as Bones locks eyes with Jim, he starts to pull away from Joanna, who simply nods and smiles. Jim knows she knows how he feels. It should put him on edge but it doesn’t. 

Bones’ eyes are on Jim’s arms first. He grasps his wrists and turns them over, eyes tracing the crisscross of thin red lines left by the glass. Jim pulls his arms away and meets his eyes with a shrug. [[At least it isn’t my face.]] He grins crookedly.

This only elicits a deeper scowl from the man. He apparently catches on more quickly than George because his hands are flying quickly. Jim actually has to really concentrate to keep up. [[What happened? Are you alright? Carol said something about your aides being broken.]]

His hands are still moving quickly with question after question for Jim. Jim touches Leonard’s arm before moving his own arms to across his chest, fingers hooking near his collarbones. [[Bones.]]

[[We need to get your arms bandaged.]]

[[What you need is to stop worrying so much. I’m fine.]]

Bones doesn’t say anything more, just wraps Jim in a hug that nearly rivals the tightness of the one that Joanna gave Bones. Jim hadn’t realized how tense he was until he relaxes into the other man’s grip, breathing in the unmistakable scent of his cologne. 

Oh god, he’s in deep.

When he opens his eyes with Leonard’s arms still wrapped around him, he sees Joanna standing a distance with a smirk on her face. [[Lilies for the wedding?]]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kinda a sucky filler chapter, but good stuff is coming! Hella action


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I AM SORRY THAT IT'S BEEN SO LONG! I had school and applications but I'm almost done with all of that so I should be able to update more regularly from here on out.
> 
> I'm super sorry, I hope you guys don't hate me. Most of all, I hope you're enjoying the story!

Sitting in a room with some of the greatest heroes known to man makes George feel more than a little bit under qualified. Technically, he’s older than all of them but that does not change the fact that he’s still a twenty six year old kid from Brooklyn where it counts.

His own son is older than him and has been though a hell of a lot more, as well. George had a place where he belonged growing up. He may have been near death on more than one occasion but at least he had a place in his own life.

From what he could tell, and he would like to call himself perceptive, Jim has never had that. He may have had a pseudo-family but that could not possibly have prevented the feelings of doubt that tend to creep in.

Still, none of that matters when they’re sitting around the too-sleek table in a windowless room discussing a very real threat. (The lack of windows is not really a problem. Who would think it wise to put very important people in a vulnerable location when they are trying to protect them?) All that matters here is the fact that Jim is damn good at his job. He’s obviously a natural born leader, despite the fact that what he has to offer to the team could be considered he least impressive. No armor, super powers, alien abilities, or crazy transformations. Jim has his bow and himself and a good team. 

It’s not hard for George to recognize that Jim is a better man than he could ever hope to be. All George ever had been was a far too angry skinny boy who got lucky. It’s not particularly surprising, though, any child of Winona’s would have to be amazing.

“Pike was called out of the country on an emergency last night which is, obviously, highly classified. So I’ll be in charge here until he comes back. Standard procedure.” McCoy signs along with his words for the benefit of Jim. “Now, I would say that I expect the exact same respect that you give to him but we all know that you guys respect me about as much as you respect the sanctity of your own lives.”

This elicits some snickers around the table, once again making George feel like he’s on the outside of more than a few jokes. “Oh, Lenny, you know we love you.” Uhura reaches across the table and pats the surly man’s hand. “And we respect you just as much as we do Pike. We just show it differently.”

Jim signs what George assumes is an agreement, grin plastered across his face. McCoy’s scowl only deepens, a feat which George had previously assumed was impossible.

“It sure is different.” McCoy rubs a hand over his eyes and glares at each of them in turn. “Alright, if we could get down to business?” He flicks his eyes up to catch the nods of everyone in the room. “Obviously we have a situation with the organization known as Area 31. Khan himself has been sighted in the area and we can only assume that it was he who bombed the building across the street from Jim’s home.”

McCoy’s lips purse as he glares down at the tablet in front of him. It almost seems as if he thinks that the computer itself can be held responsible for what happened to his friends and daughter. “This breach in what we believed to be a secure area has caused us to deem necessary the use of the secure housing that is part of this building.”

Jim starts signing furiously and Gaila groans loudly. “You can’t mean they’re all moving-“

“Into this building. Yes, Gaila, that is exactly what I mean. We all knew that those apartments would have to be used eventually. It was only a matter of time.” He nods at Uhura and Spock. “Some of them already live here so it shouldn’t really be a problem.”

“Just as long as we don’t have a bunch of foolhardy heroes running around and messing up my team’s training.” Gaila responds with a nod. “You know what floors to restrict them from.”

McCoy offers her a smile and a glare at the rest of them. “You guys know that her team could easily kill you at the click of her fingers. Do not test your limits with this one. It’s going to be maximum security all hours of the day. You will be allowed out when we deem it safe.” His eyes meet Jim’s across the table. “I beg of you, do not try to get around it. We all know what Area 31 is capable of. This is the only way to keep you alive.”

A somber silence settles over the room. George swallows thickly around the lump in his throat. He does not know what Area 31 is capable of or even what it is but from the sound of it, nothing good can possibly come from it. 

-

[[You do not need to coddle me.]] Jim stares Bones down from across the bedroom he’ll have to call home for who knows how long. [[I’m an adult, not a teenager.]]

[[You could have died, Jim.]] Bones signs back with an eerie calm about him. [[It’s not coddling, I am keeping you from dying.]]

[[I’m a big boy.]]

[[It’s okay to need help, Jim. We’re doing this for everyone.]]

Jim screws his face up into a grimace and tries to keep from punching his best friend. [[Are you doing it for yourself?]]

Bones actually looks confused by this, as if he doesn’t know what he’s like. Of course he doesn’t realize exactly how frustrating he can be: constantly making sure nobody else gets into trouble, whilst simultaneously throwing himself in harm’s way. 

[[I am responsible for you, Jim.]]

Jim groans and throws up his hands in defeat. As pigheaded as he knows he could be, he has nothing on Leonard Horatio McCoy. His shoulders twinge at the movements and he is reminded of his appointment with Christine to check out the damage inflicted by that little stunt of Khan’s. [[I have to go.]]

Leonard catches his arm as Jim tries to shove past him. Jim avoids eye contact, knowing that the only thing he could possibly find there would make him break. He wrenches his arm away but doesn’t leave. 

[[I will try, you know. To be careful.]]

[[I know.]]

[[Promise me you will too.]] Bones raises an accusing eyebrow at him. [[Promise me you will not do anything stupid.]]

Jim smiles wryly and shrugs. [[You know me, Bones. I would never do anything with the sole intent of getting myself killed.]]

[[It’s the good intentions that do it.]]

-

Jim sits on the exam table, letting his heels bounce against the hard surface beneath him but keeping otherwise completely still as the various apparatuses of Uhura’s own design circle around his head, scanning and x raying and doing who knows what. 

In about two minutes, it finishes and the machinery retracts once again into the ceiling. Chapel taps away on her tablet, eyebrows furrowing at the results she sees. A few more taps and more scowling (which he’s pretty sure she picked up from Bones, considering how the two are very close) before she sets it down with a sigh. [[We are just going to wait for Uhura to help us with this real quick, that alright?]]

Jim shrugs and quirks a smile. [[Is there something wrong?]]

[[Just a bit unsure of what some of these readings mean. This tech is pretty new.]] 

Jim nods and waits, bouncing his feet against the table once more. Uhura strides in with a smirk on her face. [[Need some help, Doc?]]

Jim snorts and nods. [[Apparently my head is a weird place.]]

Christine rolls her eyes at the two of them and shoves the tablet toward Uhura expectantly. Uhura scrolls through the results and taps a few times before brightening. 

Jim swears that she’s the one who’s too smart for her own good. Anything people say about him is pure slander. [[What’s the diagnosis? Will I ever dance again?]]

This gets an eye roll from both women. [[It is not your ears. The hearing aides failed.]] Uhura explains. [[Luckily, I have been working on a better model for quite some time. This will help me perfect them.]]

Chapel cuts in at this point. [[We will have to put you under to remove your current aides, though, and put the new ones in.]] 

Jim’s hand goes up to touch behind his ear at the thin black plastic strip of the aide. They are much more discreet than any past models he’s had, and certainly better functioning than anything currently available to the public.

Jim’s been a bit of a lab rat for the past few months. [[When will all of that be ready?]]

Uhura squints, as if she can see her schedule in her head. [[A week if I work day and night on it.]]

Something clenches inside of Jim. [[That soon?]]

[[Well, I hope so. We need to get you back in fighting form before this Khan thing becomes a real problem.]] Nyota fixes him with an expression that is purely Spock in nature: restrained curiosity and confusion.

[[I am not broken.]]

Christine’s eyes go wide and she starts signing fervently. [[We know that, Jim. You are not broken at all. Hearing will help you fight better. We need you to be the best, Jim.]]

Jim nods sullenly. He wishes he knew why he felt like this: like everything around him is pressing in all at once and like he needs to run again. He lets out a deep, shaky breath. [[Okay. One week. I can do that.]]

Christine nods briskly at him and turns to Nyota, speaking instead of signing. “You should tell McCoy and papa Kirk. They’ll wanna know.”

“Alrighty. You sure you don’t want Jim to do it?”

“No, he’ll just be weird about it.” Christine waves her off.

Jim coughs to draw their attention. [[Jim can read lips.]] He glares at them both pointedly. [[And he does not appreciate being called weird.]]

If it was Gaila or any other woman on the planet, there would be blushing but since it’s Christine and Nyota, they both just shrug. [[

Jim rubs his hands over his eyes and lays back on the bed. He needs new friends. 

-

_“Win, can you hear me?” George shouts desperately into the radio._

_There’s a brief crackle during which he feels panic grip him yet again. He pushes it down. He can do this. He has to do this. If he doesn’t-_

_“George? George I’m here!” Winona’s voice cuts in suddenly, sounding more worried than he’s ever heard. “What’s happening? Are you okay?”_

_“I have to take it down, Win.” George breathes out. “I am so sorry.”_

_“What?” Winona’s voice sounds strange and George can tell it’s not just because of the radio. “George, what do you mean?”_

_“I love you, so much.”_

_George sighs. “I have to do it. If I don’t, a lot of people will die.”_

_“But you’ll die if you do it!”_

_“I have to.”_

_George is met only with silence from Winona. “Are you still there?”_

_“Yes, George. I’m here.”_

_George takes a deep breath and wills himself to be strong again. “I want you to know, Winona. I want you to know how lucky I feel that I got the chance to marry you. I love you so much, Winnie. I love-“_  
-  
George jerks awake and sits up. He can feel the sting of tears behind his eyes and he scrubs his hands over his eyes.

He cannot seem to shake the dreams of Winona, the dreams of leaving her. Ever since he woke up, they’ve been plaguing him. He knows he should not expect to be fine so soon but at the same time, he wishes he could be.

He wants to forget leaving her. He wants to not feel guilty for causing her death every time he wakes up. The reasonable part of his brain says that it wasn’t his fault; that Winona was an agent before he even knew about any of it but he can’t seem to make himself listen to that.

He killed Winona. He couldn’t keep himself alive long enough to keep her safe and now she is gone forever. No grave, no body, and no anything for him to even remember her by. 

Luckily, a knock on the door saves him from actually drowning in a pool of self pity. “Kirk?” McCoy peers in through the doorway. “I was just coming around to check that nobody’s made an escape attempt yet.”

George rubs the tears out of his eyes and shakes his head. “No attempts yet. But no guarantees for the future.”

McCoy chuckles and lets himself into the room completely. He leans against the wall. “Yeah, no kidding. From everything that I’ve read, it’s not surprising that Jim was the way he was.” He purses his lips around a smile. “Well, is.”

George grins. “You know, I always thought that any kids I had would probably be able to find trouble.”

“More like looks for trouble.”

George nods. “Sounds like a skinny boy I used to know.” He stares at his hands and winds his fingers together. “I always wanted kids, you know? Thought that maybe I’d be able to give them a better childhood than I had. But then Win…anyway, it wasn’t her fault. It was just what we were dealt.”

Leonard cocks his head to the side and eyes George for far too long of a moment. “You miss her.” George starts to protest but Leonard holds his hands up. “Don’t try and feed me any chickenshit, kid. I know what missin’ someone looks like and you’re it.”

George considers trying to deny the truth to someone who already knows but a lost battle is never worth fighting. “Honestly? I’m tired.”

This, obviously, was not the answer McCoy was expecting. His eyebrows knit together. “Tired? Now come on, don’t go talkin’ in circles with me. Just come out with it.”

“I miss her like nothing else, Leonard.” George rests his elbows on his knees and his head in his hands, facing the floor. “I can’t even sleep without thinking about her. I’m tired.”

“You’re blaming yourself.”

“And you’re inside my head.” George attempts to lighten the situation. “Seriously how do you do that?”

McCoy doesn’t dignify that with a response. He rolls his eyes and continues on with his train of thought. “You blame yourself for her death. How you Kirks all ended up the same without knowing each other, I will never know, but you always find a way to take the responsibilities upon yourselves.” He shakes his head and kicks at George’s shoe to get his attention. George looks up and meets his eye. “You can’t do that to yourself. Winona Kirk was the best agent S.H.I.E.L.D. ever had. She would have done what she did regardless of your death. It is not your fault, kid.”

“She died alone.” George finally allows himself to utter what he’s been avoiding for the past week. “I was gone and she died alone. She should be sitting here but she’s not.”

“You are.” McCoy finishes for George. “Look, I’m not the sort to give pep talks or anything. I’m of the belief that a little hardship is good for you and that a tongue-lashing can be more effective than any sort of coddling. But I know when a man needs one. So I’ll tell you what I had to learn when my daddy died: the only way to remember Winona, to make sure that they didn’t die for nothin’, is to live. To do what they always wanted to do. You have to be here, George. You have to help us.”

George lets the words really sink in. He knows that McCoy is right, that Winona would not be crying right now. He knows that she would be up in Pike’s office trying to come up with a way to stop Khan before he can even take a step.

He can practically hear her telling him to get himself into shape and get out there. “You’re right.” He cracks another smile and this time it doesn’t even feel fake. “I’ll try, but honestly? I don’t know what I’m doing around here.”

“You know, I think I know someone who can help with that.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Likes are love, Comments are completely awesome.
> 
> tumblr: fabtrek


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy rating change, batman!!

George peers into the gym at the group of remarkably muscular individuals being yelled at by a woman with bright red curls. “You know,” He turns back McCoy, “When you said you knew someone who could help me, I sort of thought you meant Jim.”

McCoy grabs him by the elbow and drags him further into the room. “Please. If you think that James T Kirk is simply going to want some quality bonding time with his long-dead Dad right now, you are sorely mistaken.” He shoves George ahead of him. “Now, Gaila is going to train you so that you don’t get yourself killed in your first fight.”

Gaila whirls around at the sound of her name. Her face transforms from hard training mode to a bright grin in a split second. “Leonard!” She walks towards him with open arms. 

Leonard opens his arms and allows himself to be pulled into her embrace. “Hello, Gaila. I hope we’re not messing up your people too much.” He recalls what she was saying in the meeting three days ago and she waves him off. “Cap here is a bit out of practice, though, and I figured if anyone can get him back into shape, it’s you.”

“Carol could do it.”

“I said whipped into shape, not dead.” Leonard laughs.

Gaila nods. She grins and flicks her eyes up and down George’s body. He shifts uncomfortably in response, which only makes her smile widen. “Oh yes, I’m sure I can work with this.”

George straightens up again under her gaze. “I look forward to training with you, Ma’am.” 

Gaila lets out a quick snort of a laugh and gives Leonard an incredulous look. “Are you for real? Don’t call me ma’am, geez. Just Gaila. Oriana, if that’s too casual for you.”

The captain’s cheeks pink slightly. “I’m sorry Miss-er-Gaila.”

Gaila looks very much like she’s about to pinch George’s cheeks or something equally as demeaning but apparently decides better of it. “Well, we should just be glad that McCoy here didn’t set you up to train with my lovely girlfriend. As good as I am, she’s better.”

“As if you aren’t the best around.” Leonard scoffs. He looks down at his watch and starts a bit. “Damn, I’m late to go meet up with Jim. Take care of him, Gaila. You hear?” 

Gaila winks saucily at him. “Just so long as you take care of little Jimmy as well.” She giggles. “Well, maybe not so little.”

“Good God, woman!” Leonard squawks even though his bright red face completely gives him away. He turns on his heel to stalk out of the gym.

“Will there be lilies for the wedding?” Gaila calls after him and McCoy’s only response is to flip her off. 

George watches the whole exchange, only slightly horrified by it all. He’s not sure if he’s more disturbed by the fact that they were talking about his son’s (and it’s still weird to call someone mentally older than himself “son”) sex life or the fact that it did not seem to be totally untrue. “Miss Oriana?” He clears his throat. “Are Jim and McCoy actually, know you, doing that?”

“Yep! And it’s the stupidest thing. They’re totally in love with each other but they’re just reducing it down to “friends with benefits.” Which is total bullshit and everyone knows it.” She narrows her eyes at George. “Why do you ask? Cuz if you have a real problem with them both being boys, we’re going to have a serious issue on our hands.” 

George blanches and shakes his head rapidly. “Oh no, nothing like that. I myself fancied a boy in my high school for a while but, you know…”

“Not that accepted in the forties, huh?”

George snorts. “That’s a bit of an understatement. And Winona was always the only one for me, anyway.”

Gaila nods slowly, a grins spreading across her face. “Captain America is bisexual. I can dig that.” Her nodding grows stronger. “Yeah, I can really dig that.”

Desperate to change the subject, George gestures towards the people who are still training. “Is this the ‘team’ I’ve heard so much about?” 

Gaila grins with pride. “Yep! My own team of special S.H.I.E.L.D. agents. Spies, assassins, martial artists, and whatever else you need. Including a cleanup crew on occasion. I’m also in charge of that and let me tell you, cleaning up after the mess that the Avengers are capable of making is not an easy task.” She shakes her head. “In the words of Leonard H McCoy, ‘god damn irresponsible.’”

George is a bit overwhelmed by it all, so he just nods and claps his hands together. “Well, we don’t we just get started.”

-

Leonard taps Jim on the shoulder to get his attention. [[Are you okay?]]

Jim looks up at him with tired eyes. Dark circles rest beneath them like crescent moons. [[Nervous.]]

[[The new aides?]] 

Leonard knows the answer before Jim has the chance to even raise his hands but he waits for the response nonetheless. [[Yes. It has gone so quickly. Only three days until it happens.]]

[[It will be fine.]] Leonard sits down on the bed beside him.

Jim turns himself to face Leonard completely. [[What if it doesn’t work?]]

[[Then you will still be Jim Kirk. The amazing Hawkeye.]] Leonard grins one of his rare smiles: one of the ones that is too bright and too big for his face. It feels awkward but he knows that Jim likes it and that it makes him happy.

He would bear pretty much any amount of awkwardness to see Jim happy. This time, it definitely works. Jim breaks out into a huge smile. [[I know.]]

Without any warning, Jim’s lips are on his own. Jim goes from zero to sixty in no time at all, same as always, and as much as Leo would love to stop this (whatever it is) and spare himself the pain that is walking away, he cannot help but respond. He melts under the touch and grasps Jim’s arms. The archer’s incredibly strong muscles flex and move under his grip as he grabs Leo’s back.

Leo could not tell anyone how this all started, if anyone cared to ask. It simply happened one day after some case or something and they have been doing it ever since. All it is quick fuck here, a kiss or two there, and then heading back to separate homes for the night. The situation certainly could not be called any sort of relationship. He knows the phrase that gets thrown around quite often in reference to them. It is probably the most accurate assessment of what is happening but something uneasy settles in Leonard’s chest at the thought of it. 

He knows that this is not what he wants; that he wants something more than this, but asking Jim Kirk for more would probably be about as successful as asking the sun to stop shining.

He lets Jim push him back on the too-small bed. On a normal day, he’d be playing for dominance right then and there: rolling them over and probably onto the floor. Today, though, he has enough going on to make him tired and compliant. 

Jim notices this, apparently, because suddenly he’s grinning down at Leo with something that can only be described as hunger. The dark circles under his eyes can almost be ignored as Leo looks up at his blown pupils and red flushed cheeks. 

Jim’s eyes are fixed on him and rather than spend his entire life trapped in the intense stare, he opts to squeeze his eyes shut as Jim slides a hand into his pants. 

Jim’s warm hand wraps around Leo’s already painfully hard dick and it’s almost too much for him to handle. He places a firm hand on Jim’s chest, a practically universal sign for “give me a second”, and takes a few deep breaths before moving his hand down to Jim’s ass and letting him continue.

As if he was not already focused on him enough, Leo’s entire world becomes Jim-centric. He can only seem to focus on the feel of Jim ontop of him: rutting up against his leg, wrapped around his dick, the soft feel of his ass as Leo kneads at it. His other hand twines in the blond’s hair, which he uses to pull his mouth impossibly closer.

He feels sort of silly getting so worked up over a slightly sloppy handjob on a twin bed but this is Jim. _Jim._

Getting too worked up and turned on is essentially a given.

Jim’s thrusts against Leo’s thigh speed up as does the movement of his hand. The friction is just shy of too painful but Leo’s kept afloat by the head scent of Jim. He presses his thigh harder into Jim, allowing him better leverage. 

Jim’s release happens the same way that everything in his life does: fast, loud, and far too intense. Leo’s eyes fly open to catch the view of Jim’s squeezing shut as he jerks forward one last time, a cry falling from his lips.

There is a reason everyone is glad that most of the rooms in the building are soundproofed.

Leo comes shortly after, Jim’s face still burned into the backs of his eyelids. He bites his lip to keep himself from accidentally shouting something stupid.

Even if Jim can’t hear, he is certainly better than most at lip reading.

Jim rolls off of Leo and stands beside the bed. He frowns down at the stain on his jeans and looks back at Leo with a pout. [[These are my favorite jeans.]]

[[I am not the one who could not wait to get his pants off.]] Leo fires right back once he’s regained his composure. It is no easy feat what with Jim standing there, looking more than a little bit debauched in his cumstained jeans with sex hair and flushed cheeks.

It looks a little bit like every dream Leo has ever had. 

 

[[I cannot believe we came in our pants like teenagers.]] Jim grins goofily.

Leo scowls. [[Was not my first choice.]]

[[Do not act like you did not like that.]] Jim crosses his arms and smirks.

Leo refuses to give him the satisfaction. [[A chafed dick and dirty pants that I now have to walk through the halls to go change? Not a big fan.]]

Jim snorts and strides over to the bureau. He pulls out a pair of slacks and throws them at Leo. [[My ass is bigger than yours but they should work.]]

Leo snorts and accepts them, slipping off his own pants and sliding into Jim’s. It is not the first time he’s had to wear the other man’s clothes and it probably won’t be the last.

He would start keeping some clothes at Jim’s place but that would make it seem too real. Like this whole thing means something more than two friends with far too little time to get anything from anyone else. [[Thank you.]]

[[Anytime.]] Jim winks, never able to take a single thing seriously. Leo just rolls his eyes and heads for the door.

He turns back at the last minute and signs a [[Goodbye.]] If he sees anything in Jim’s eyes that’s out of place, it’s surely just wishful thinking.

-

Gaila pins George to the mat once again and he tries to not be as embarrassed as he is. “You’re not very good at this, are you?” She goads. “I mean, really, I thought Captain America was supposed to be good at, like, everything.”

George groans and shuts his eyes. He can feel the bruises on his body already healing, one of the perks of being treated like some kind of science experiment. “You heard wrong.”

“Obviously.”

He pushes himself to his feet, if only for pride’s sake. He bounces on the balls of his feet and shakes out his arms. “Wanna go again?”

Gaila laughs and shakes her head. “I wouldn’t put you through that again. Too embarrassing for your poor little patriotic soul.” She speaks in a babyish voice and George honestly cannot believe the people that he’s been stuck with. “Anyway, I’m pretty sure Spock is supposed to be giving you a publicity briefing in a few minutes.”

George’s eyebrows shoot up. “Publicity briefing? When was anyone going to tell me about this?”

Gaila frowns. “Right now, like I just did.” She shrugs like she has no idea what George’s problem is. “Did you not catch that?”

“Am I working with children?” George asks the ceiling.

Gaila snorts out a laugh and slaps him on the shoulder. “’Fraid so, old man.”

George glares down at her and is once again amazed at the fact that someone who is about five inches shorter and 80 pounds lighter than him could possibly be so much more skilled. If only she’d been around before the serum.

Someone clears their throat behind him and Gaila stands on her tiptoes to look over George’s shoulder at the source. She breaks out into a grin. “Spock! I see you’re here to pick up our lovely little American.”

“While I would not use the words ‘lovely’ or ‘little’ to describe Mister Kirk, I will allow that ‘American’ is an apt descriptor for him.” Spock inclines his head in Gaila’s direction. “And thus I must say yes to your question. I am indeed here to collect him and train him on proper interactions with the press corps.”

Gaila only grows brighter (something George did not think possible) and nods, shoving George at him. 

He only stumbles a few steps. His dignity is intact. “Hello, Mister Spock. How are you today?”

“Quite well, thank you.” Spock nods his head toward the door. “If you would not mind coming with me.” He does not wait for a response before he turns on his heel and starts out of the room.

George spares a glance back at Gaila and a wave before jogging to catch up with him. “Why do I need ‘press training’?”

“The revival of ‘Captain America’ is bound to be very interesting news across the world once it is released to the general public. We are attempting to prepare you for this inevitability.”

“Oh.” George kicks himself for not sounding more eloquent in front of one of the most intimidating people he has ever met. “You know, I had an awful lot of this back in the forties. The media training, I mean.”

“I do not doubt this, Mister Kirk.”

“George” He interrupts. “Just call me George.”

Spock’s eyebrows knit together. “You and your son share remarkable similarities of personality despite the fact that you did not raise him.” His expression tightens further. “Fascinating.”

“Has he been acting weird lately?” George blurts out and decides to just go with it rather than stop the train of thought that’s already going about 120 miles per hour. “Whenever I try to talk to him, he pulls away and refuses to do anything. Does he seem…different to you?”

“James has been behaving rather…erratically as of late.” Spock allows with a tilt of the head. “That is notable.”

George furrows his brow in question. “As of late? So he _is_ acting weird since I came back?”

“It is irregular but a cause cannot be extrapolated at this time.” Spock stops walking and fixes George with the closest thing to a stern glare that George has seen the man let cross his face. “To assume yourself the sole cause would be remarkably egocentric and would require me to reassess my opinions on your character.”

George opens and closes his mouth wordlessly, feeling more than a little bit like a fish. He was searching for words that simply are not there so he clamps his jaw shut with a click. Better to accept his fate than to impersonate a tuna.

Spock’s shoulders appear to relax (a trick of the light, surely) and he raises an eyebrow. “May I suggest, Mister Kirk, that our efforts would be better focused on the task which we were assigned, being your public disposition?”

But George has never really been one to drop something, even when commanded to. Winona had a habit of calling him ‘an obnoxious puppy that you want to kill and cuddle at the same time.’ 

“What was Jim like as a kid?” George plows on with the subject. This earns him an almost defeated look from Spock as the man obviously realizes that they are not going to get any sort of media training done at the moment. 

He stares George in the eye with an unfathomable expression. Not that it should really be surprising. George may not have known the alien for very long but he can already tell that he is not the emotional sort. Whether that is a learned trait or is a natural trait of his species has yet to be determined. 

At last, Spock seems to deem it necessary to actually respond. “Jim’s upbringing was strange. My father did teach him the same principles of logic and control as he did with my brother and myself but my mother also thought it prudent to raise him in a distinctly more human fashion. Jim was the recipient of what you would call ‘the best of both worlds’.”

George nods absently and tries to imagine a little kid being raised by a stern alien father and what he hopes was a warm human mother. He cannot even begin to imagine the contradictions he must have faced. 

“His childhood was not made difficult by any of our own doings, George. James was, by all accounts, a happy child.” Spock seems to read George’s mind quite easily. 

George looks down at his feet. “So all of his problems lately are my fault?” 

Jim is not a person that George really knows certainly not one that he had any part in raising. George has very little claim over him but he cannot help but feel responsible for anything that happens to the young man.

“It is true that Jim did suffer from some emotional difficulties in his adolescence relating to his identity.” Spock admits. “Whether those were caused by anything that you did or did not do cannot be certain.”

“Oh.” Sounds like a big pile of ‘you fucked up’ to George.

“Jim will come around, I have every bit of faith in that fact.” Spock assures George. “I do not think that a relationship between you and your son is outside of the realm of possibilities.”

George gives a small smile. “Thank you, Mister Spock.”

“However,” Spock continues, “I should warn you that my mother, the woman who carried and raised James, is very protective of her sons. She does consider him to be part of that group.”


	8. Chapter 8

Carol was becoming restless, to say the least. She knows Khan’s game; had spent years watching him and studying his every move. His actions were swift, precise, and ruthless. They were quiet. He saw a goal and he completed his every task with terrifying accuracy. Carol knows Khan’s style.

This is not it. Whatever is happening, whatever goal Khan is working towards, it is requiring him to do so slowly. This is a different kind of strategy.

It is driving her absolutely insane. Knowing secrets is Carol’s trade. She never walks into a fight without having serious information on her opponents’ pasts and plans. Those are risks she is just not willing to take.

The bathroom of her small S.H.I.E.L.D. apartment is larger than any sort of accommodations she had back with 31 but still absolutely tiny. Se stands at the sink and presses her weight forward onto her hands. The face in the mirror is one that hardly anyone sees: the one when she’s not busy being Lara Tyler, Emily Bundt, Doctor Wallace, or any of her other aliases.

This is Carol Marcus, plain and simple. When there is nothing to hide behind, nobody watching, and nothing to do but think, this is who she is. 

The dark crescents that have appeared from a lack of sleep stand out starkly against her pale skin. Looking in the mirror, Carol knows that this is the first sign that she might be breaking. First comes the lack of sleep, next comes disappearing and showing up at the bottom of the Hudson. 

She had assumed that Khan came to America for her. It does not make sense in any way whatsoever but Carol had honestly thought she was worth having Khan come personally to kill her. 

But if Khan wanted her dead, she already would be.

It is a thought that has plagued her mind since she left Area 31 to join up with S.H.I.E.L.D. Khan has to be watching. Carol has to be some sort of pawn in his game and so far she has been playing along perfectly even if she does not know her part. 

One toe out of line in Khan’s plans means death. 

All she did by coming to America was remove herself from the direct command of her father. If Alexander Marcus was the only one pulling strings here, she would be safe.

Her father had a tendency to be loud and involved. He would see and end and reach it with a bang. (Sometimes quite literally; Carol had planted far too many bombs for him.) He was cunning but a bit of an exhibitionist. Both Marcus and Khan are terrorists but Marcus’ brand tended to be more flashy and sudden.

This by no means made him less effective, only more more predictable. If her father was the only one behind using his daughter, she would know.

She also has a strange sort of fantasy in which he loves her enough to leave her alone.

Khan Noonien Singh, on the other hand, was more slippery. He was charming and too smart to ever be connected to 31 by real evidence, despite the fact that his involvement was well-known in most political circles. His plans were fast acting and cruel. They were smaller and quitter than her father’s preferred stunts. Fear instilled by Khan is slow acting poison that creeps through his victims’ veins until they are immobilized by it. That was when Khan went to work, gaining control by taking away some of the fear that he had put there himself.

To make a bold move and then back off completely for a week? That was something she had never seen him do. 

Carol refuses to be paralyzed. She knows that there is a game and that she plays a key role but the only thing she can do for now is try to play against him. She has to give Pike and McCoy all of the information that she has. She has to help them win.

She knows that she will probably die. She cannot let them know this.

Carol shakes out her shoulders and arms, stretches her neck, and meets her own eyes again. She picks the bottle of concealer out of her makeup bag and goes to work.

-

The problem is not that Jim wants to remain deaf. It is not even the fact that his last aides gave him splitting headaches. (Which he tried to hide from Leo to no avail.) The problem is that Jim Kirk is an infant who hates doctors. 

[[I hate this.]] Jim pouts up at Leo. He’s pointedly not looking at Christine, who is putting the IV in his arm. [[This sucks.]]

Leo claps Jim on the shoulder. He has gotten a lot better at ignoring Jim’s puppy dog look. [[You can do it.]]

Jim huffs out an exasperated breath. [[I know I _can_. I hate doing it.]]

Jim’s posture is collapsed and weaker than in any other moment of his life. He went to so many doctors when he was a kid that all he knows are bad memories of needles and blood samples: endless tests that never came up with anything good. 

Christine rounds the bed and joins the conversation. [[Too late now. Nyota and I have been working day and night on this.]]

[[There are more important things.]] Jim insists, his brow furrowing.

Christine snorts and shakes her head. [[You are our first priority, Jim. Pike’s orders.]]

[[Of course.]] Jim signs about as sarcastically as someone can. He turns to glare at Leo again. [[You should have stopped him.]] He pauses, chewing on his lips and staring at his hands as if they could decide what to say for him. [[I am not that important.]]

Leo wants to roll his eyes but he manages to hold himself back. [[You are important.]] He fixes Jim with a hard glare and adds [[Idiot.]] for effect.

Christine taps McCoy on the shoulder to jerk him out of his little Jim-world. “You should probably go, Leonard. We have to start the procedure soon.”

Leo nods absently. “I think Pike is expecting me to brief him now that he’s back.”

“And thank God for that. I won’t feel like such a sitting duck anymore.” Christine’s features are lined with tension. “I know that you, Hikaru, and Carol have been strategizing like crazy but this all feels like we’re just waiting for the next attack.”

Leo sighs and nods. “I know what you’re feeling. I just hope that we find him before that happens.”

A cough comes from the bed and Christine and McCoy turn back to face Jim. He’s sitting there with his arms crossed, clearly unhappy with the fact that they were talking without him. “Bitches.” He chooses to speak rather than sign.

[[I have to go meet with Pike.]] Leo signs. [[I’ll talk to you later.]]

Jim scowls but signs back. [[Whatever. See you.]]

It is not exactly what he wants. Leo wants to say…something. He’s not even sure what that something is but he knows he is not done. Rather than go down any of those roads, he chooses instead to give a [[Good luck.]] and turn to leave the room.

His plans to keep to himself and worry about Jim before he meets with Pike is, of course, thwarted in the form of his daughter standing right outside of the door. She’s leaning up against the wall and polishing one of her arrows. “Heya, Pop. Check out the new grappling model!”

She waves the sharp point far too close to Leo’s face and pushes a button on her wristband. The tip splits into thin and remarkable strong. “Stop waving that thing in my face, Joanna Elizabeth. You’ll take someone’s eye out.” He pushes it away gently.

Well, more gently than if it had been Jim.

Joanna narrows her eyes at him. “Jim’s nervous, right?”

“Yeah.” Leo sighs out. He has no idea how she does it but it’s the same trick that her mother used to play. Apparently Leonard H McCoy is an open book to those women in his life. “You know him.”

“Yeah, he was having problems with his old aides for a while but he refused to go see Chapel because he hates doctors that much.”

Leonard frowns at the thought that Jim would force himself to go through that much pain because of what he had to go through due solely to his genetics. 

“Don’t make that face.” Joanna chides. “You’ll have really bad wrinkles when you’re old.”

“I’m already old.” Leo says but makes the effort to smooth out his scowl anyway.

Joanna scoffs and nods slowly. “Yeah, sure.”

“My daughter is a year and a half away from being an adult.”

“You mean your daughter who was born before you were even legally allowed to buy cigarettes? You are thirty-three, not sixty.” Her hazel eyes flash as though they are daring him to challenge her.

Leonard cannot keep his heart from clenching uncomfortable in his chest as he looks at her. She bears a striking resemblance to him, even though she got her mother’s nose and blonde hair. (Jim has been mistaken for her father on multiple occasions, despite the fact that he would have been all of eleven when she was born.) She has yet to completely lose her slightly immature features, being only sixteen, but it cannot be denied that she’s closer to a woman than a child in any case.

He never really understood the phrase “they grow up so fast” until now.

Leonard was her age when he found out that Jocelyn, who was eighteen at the time, was pregnant. At the time, he had thought his life was ending. He did not yet know what he wanted to do with his life-his father was pushing for doctor-but he was certain that raising a child before he could even vote was not on the list. He had almost pushed Joss to put her up for adoption.

But the moment he held Joanna in his arms for the first time, and looking at his daughter now, his sarcastic, brash, and too sympathetic daughter, he’s never been so glad that he did not do that.

Apparently his little emotional episode shows on his face because Joanna wrinkles her nose. “Dad, if you’re about to get all gross and sappy all over me, give me some warning. ‘Cause tear stains on this shirt? I don’t think so.”

Leo ignores her and pulls her into a hug. Joanna groans but hugs him back anyway, resting her head on his shoulder the same way she’s done since she was little and he used to hold her. They stand like this, Leo trying to tell Jo that he would die it meant that she would live, and Jo probably trying to figure out why her hardass father is being so emotional, for a few seconds that seem to stretch on. He presses a quick kiss to the top of her head, same as he’s always done, and releases her.

When they pull apart, Jo’s face is composed of confusion and affection. “Did someone put an extra dose of estrogen in your morning coffee? You’re acting all weird.”

“When that bomb went off... I thought I’d lost you. I thought I’d lost _everything_ , Jo.”

Joanna’s face goes quickly from teasing to a tired expression that mirrors her father’s almost perfectly. “I did too. I thought I was gone for a second there.”

The words “I thought I was going to be like Mom.” Aren’t said but Leo hears them anyway. He pulls the sides of his mouth up into a smile and forces himself not to think about that.

“I am sorry that I haven’t really spoken to you all week. I was…well, there’s no real excuse for not talking to your daughter after a trauma, is there?”

Jo shakes her head and puts her hands up. “Don’t do that. You’re one of the directors of a seriously important agency, Dad. You were busy saving the world or whatever.”

“Or whatever.” He echoes. “Yeah, I guess I was kinda busy, wasn’t I?”

“Understandably so.” Joanna puts her hand on his shoulder and looks him dead in the eye. “Seriously, Dad. Don’t worry. I still love you.”

Leonard swallows the lump in his throat and tries to regain some of his ‘I’m one of the directors of a seriously important agency’ composure. “I love you too, Jojo.”

Joanna laughs and cringes. “Am I nine again? Geez, if anyone else here actually knew how sentimental you are, your whole career would be ruined.”

“McCoy’s ability to empathize is actually one of the reasons we brought him in on the Avenger’s initiative.” Pike’s voice comes out of nowhere and both McCoys jump. He smiles at them. “And how are the two of you today? Beside the little family reunion the two of you just had, obviously.”

“I would be doing quite well, Chris, if it weren’t for the fact that we have a terrorist in the country threatening to do quite a bit of damage.”

“And Jim being difficult on top of it?” Chris suggests.

McCoy laughs and shakes his head. “And everyone being difficult on top of it all.” He shrugs noncommittally. “What are you gunna do? They’re all egomaniacs.”

“It’s true.” Joanna supplies. “We are.”

The Director smiles at her before turning back to Leo. “I have been going over the plans that you, Carol, and Hikaru have come up with. Do you really think we’ll need The Library?”

Leo nods once sharply. “I don’t see how we can fight him without bringing out the big guns. Better to do something fast and contained than to let him wreak havoc on the city for too long.”

Chris is silent, lost in thought. “He isn’t wreaking havoc, though, is he?”

“Not yet, sir, no.”

Pike shakes his head, face still tight with thought. “Walk with me. Joanna, I’m afraid I’m going to have to ask you to stay behind.”

“Yes, sir.” Joanna nods sharply and starts walking briskly down the hall towards the shooting range.

McCoy and Pike stride together at a synchronized pace. Leo lets the older man lead him through the familiar halls through restricted doors and into private elevators before he broaches the subject again. “Sir, are you saying that you don’t think he’ll do any real damage as of yet?”

“I think he’s trying to scare us.” Pike rubs at his five o’clock shadow. “He’s trying to goad us into responding. I think it has been to our advantage that we have yet to make a move. Make him come to us.”

Leo sighed, finally getting it. “Let me guess, you stayed out of the country for an extended amount of time on purpose.”

“Hate to stay away at a time like this but it was a surefire way to ensure that we did not do anything yet.”

McCoy cards a hand through his hair. “Are you sure it’s smart to be playing games like this? We should be actively trying to get him in custody before he can hurt more civilians.” He pointedly does not bring up Jim or Jo in order to maintain at least the image of being focused only on the task at hand. “We should be sending Gaila’s team out there to look for him.”

“We can’t afford any missteps, McCoy. You know that just as well as I do.” Pike snaps. “We have been after this guy for years and now we have a chance to get him. All we need to do is hold back and let him make a move that we can catch him in.”

Leo wants to punch the side of the elevator. He hates waiting games like this; hates risking lives for the chance to catch one man. “You know I’ll defer to your good judgement but I do not think that this is a good idea by any stretch of the imagination.”

“We’ll go to The Library tomorrow.” Pike allows. “See what we can do to prepare.”

This gives Leo at least a little bit of relief. “That’s all I’m asking for, sir.”

The elevator doors slide open and the men walk out into the reception area of Pike’s office. Leo’s is one floor beneath his and the younger man cannot help but take note of the leather chairs that he definitely has to get a set of for his space. 

Right as they’re about to enter the office proper, one of Pike’s many assistants rushes up to them, looking quite shaken. “Director Pike, McCoy.”

The Director looks at her expectantly. “What is it, Janice?”

She thrusts a yellow sheet of paper at him which he takes readily. “He got The Library, Sir. Khan destroyed The Library.”


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i feel like this chapter really sucks a lot...

The Library was a weapons research center owned by S.H.I.E.L.D. that was located underneath what used to be a paper factory and was now only a façade. 

It was their best resource and had been putting them miles ahead of threats for almost a decade. It was a complete secret: hardly anybody that did not work at The Library even knew that it existed. As far as McCoy knew, Carol, Sulu, and Pike were the only ones at the New York base beside him. It was just too dangerous to put in the hands of too many people.

That was the point of putting it underneath a building in a fairly unpopulated area: to keep it safe and secret, which is why it was so surprising to hear that someone had attacked it and managed to blow it up.

It was meant to be a secret not only to save the research they had done but also to spare the lives of many weapons specialists that had escaped from terrorist cartels and corrupt governments around the world. Not only was it S.H.I.E.L.D.’s opportunity to get a leg up on their foes, it was an opportunity to save the lives of some of the greatest minds the world had to offer.

Lives that were decimated in only a few seconds.

The only solace that Leonard can glean from this is that the safety precautions were enough so as to only cause minor damage to the surrounding area. There were no houses for at least four miles around and the walls were thick enough to prevent any stray debris reaching any sort of civilization.

If only the thick walls had been enough to keep those people safe.

“Someone sold the information.” Pike cuts through the tense silence that was laying thick over the office. 

McCoy pauses in his pacing and narrows his eyes at the director, who’s sitting his desk chair calmly with fingers steepled. “No shit.”

“McCoy.” Chris warns, voice still even and much more calm than McCoy could even dream of being in his position. He guesses that’s why he does not have Chris’ job.

“Sorry, sir. I’m just…I don’t know. I honestly cannot believe that a single one of those people working there would have leaked the information.” He shakes his head and rubs the bridge of his nose. “We were the only ones here who knew, right? I’m not missing something.”

Pike presses his lips together and stares through McCoy for a few moments before opening his mouth once more. “Marcus knew.”

“Obviously. Unless Khan has broken off from 31 completely.” McCoy waves a hand through the air. “And wouldn’t that just be wonderful?” 

“I am not talking about Alexander Marcus.” Pike remains even.

It makes McCoy angry, somehow. He feels like Pike should be pacing around like he is, getting frustrated and angry. Everything that they had been working on, one of their biggest secrets as an organization, was just destroyed. That, of all things, warrants a greater response.

“What do you mean you’re not talking about Alexander Marcus? Who the hell do you- Oh.” McCoy freezes in his tracks and stares at Pike, slackjawed. “You can’t possibly mean-She would never do that.”

Carol had not known about The Library for very long at all. She had only been let in on the secret once they started bringing her into the tactical meetings because they needed her intel and knowledge of Khan’s strategy. She was brought in to tell them what tech they could need and what they should expect from this man.

Of course, nothing she had been saying came to pass. All of her predictions about Khan’s behavior seemed to be failing. 

No, he trusts Carol. Even if it all adds up. “Sir, she could not have possibly.”

“I’m not saying she definitely did but she’s the only person who we know had definitive ties to 31.” Pike sighs and rises from his desk. He rounds the furniture and claps McCoy on the shoulder. “You know that this makes sense, Leonard. We can’t afford to ignore this.” 

McCoy grits his teeth. Pike is right, there’s no denying it. Carol is their most likely suspect for the leak. She’s always been secretive, even after coming to them and giving away so many secrets. Secrets that saved so many lives. There are still far too many things that they do not know about her; too many things she’s not willing to let them in on.

He wants to trust Carol explicitly. She deserves to be trusted but when he is faced with the facts of the situation, it becomes impossible. Carol Marcus has been running around certain questions and keeping herself aloof for the entire time they’ve known her. McCoy saw the tapes of her from back in her days at the agency. He knows that he saw joy in the thrill of it all. He knows that she liked it.

People do not simply make a 180 like that. McCoy cannot ignore it anymore. “Yes sir, I know. What do we do? We have no proof that it was her.”

Pike sighs. “That, McCoy, is where it becomes difficult. We need to keep her away from all of this. We have to take away her duty status and keep her here. There’s no way that we, in good conscience, can let her go out there.”

“Nobody is going to let you do that.” McCoy protests. “They all love her.”

Jim loves her. McCoy knows exactly how protective the archer is of Carol; knows that he would rather lose everything than let one of his friends be treated unjustly. He knows this is unjust.

He cannot help but feel that it is right nonetheless. 

-

Jim wakes up slowly and immediately thinks that the procedure has been a failure. He blinks rapidly and rubs his hands over his ears. He flinches away from the pressure immediately because whatever they did to him is still sensitive. 

A tap on his shoulder jerks him away from his thoughts of failure. Christine raises an amused eyebrow at him. [[They are not on.]]

Christine plucks a silver remote almost exactly identical to his old black one off of the table next to the bed and waves it in front of his face. A few clicks of a button and sound slowly fills Jim’s world for the first time in about a week and a half. “We didn’t want you to wake up and be totally shocked by how loud everything seems.”

Jim rolls his shoulders and squeezes his eyes shut. “I think I know what you’re talking about.” He keeps his eyes closed, trying to adjust to the near-deafening noise of the surrounding environment. Even the buzzing of the machinery, which he knows is not that loud from experience, seems unbearably loud after the world being silent for so long.

It’s the same thing he experienced after getting his first aides: everything is too much until it only becomes slightly awful. He opens his eyes once he has adjusted sufficiently and eyes Chapel. “Sorry about that. Took some adjusting, you know?”

She smiles indulgently. “Don’t worry about it. I remember how it was last time. I’ll count it as a success that it took you about four times less to adjust this time around. And you aren’t crying yet.” She turns back to her tablet briefly and taps in some more notes.

“Are you writing that? You’re writing that. I cannot believe that you are putting it in my notes that I didn’t cry this time.” Jim leans over the edge of his bed and tries to get a good view of the screen, only slightly thrown off by the lingering effects of anesthetic. “This is so embarrassing.”

“You’re adjusting to these quite easily.” Christine plows on with her incessant questioning. “How does everything sound?”

“Loud. Clear. Good.” Jim responds automatically. His headache is receding already. “Different, really. Not what I’m used to.”

Christine looks up from her tablet at him. “Different how?”

Jim furrows his brow and waves his hands by his ears vaguely. “Oh, I don’t know. Before, it used to sort of echo, you know? Everything sounded way farther away.”

The confusion etched across Christine’s face is clear as she stares hard at Jim. “Why didn’t you say anything before now?”

“I didn’t know that it was wrong. I didn’t have anything to compare it to.” He shrugs and quirks a small smile at her. “I’m assuming that this is right. It’s certainly more enjoyable.”

Christine frowns and shakes her head as she crosses over the room to start the equipment for testing. “I’m sorry about that, Jim. I had no idea about that.”

“You did well, Chapel. The aides were fantastic. Nothing I’d ever used worked as well as they did.” He lets out a quick but good natured laugh. “Except these, so far.”

Christine nods absently. “That’s good.” She picks up the small camera-looking item off of the counter and walks over to him. “Okay, you’ve used this before. I’m just going to take a few shots to get x-rays and all that stuff. Stay still.”

Jim purses his lips and nods. He tenses up automatically as the thing is pointed at his head, ready for the squealing noise that always accompanies the familiar machinery.

It does not come. He lets the tension bleed out of his body and he turns to Christine.   
“I don’t know what you guys did, but it’s amazing and I kind of want to marry you a little bit.”

Christine chuckles and lowers the tool. “Yeah, alright. Save it for McCoy.” She picks up her tablet again and taps a few items on the screen, probably synching up with the camera. “Everything looks good, Jim. I’m going to want to run more tests in a few days but for now this is acceptable.”

“What a coincidence. ‘Acceptable’ is what I’ve always striven for.” Jim cracks a cocky smirk, making Christine roll her eyes even harder than before.

This is exactly why he thinks she and McCoy are great friends in another life. They both hate Jim a little bit but could never possibly leave him. At least in his mind.

“Ah yes, that would be why they always call you ‘The Acceptable Hawkeye’ and nothing else in the papers.” She remarks with more than enough sarcasm.

Jim snorts and shakes his head at the team’s doctor. “I just came out of surgery, can you not be nice to me? Is that impossible?”

“Maybe if you stopped being an asshat I would stop being sarcastic to you.” Christine offers and Jim would be far more insulted if not for the fact that he was more than a little bit terrified of her. “Don’t worry, though. McCoy still loves you.”

Jim feels himself blush and he ducks his head and he rubs the back of his neck. “Come on, Chris. Bones is my best friend.”

Christine shakes her head at him and scoffs. “I cannot believe you. You almost died last week. You almost died and the first person you actually talked to about it was McCoy.” She stares Jim dead in the eye with a hint of a smile tugging at the corners of her lips. “If that’s not love, I don’t know what is.” 

“It’s called having a best friend, Christine.” 

“Bullshit.”

Jim runs a hand through his blond hair and rolls his eyes at her. “Why does it even matter? Bones has Joanna and his job and everything. Even if I did feel that way for him, why would he want me?”

Christine grins and shakes her head. “I have no idea why, but he does.”

Jim perks up at this. “He what?”

Had it been Uhura or Jo or anyone else, Jim probably would not have listened at all. He’s heard every sort of theory on his relationship with Bones on the planet. But Christine doesn’t bullshit. She can be far too mean at times but she’s blunt and honest and Jim can respect that.

“Leonard McCoy, stupid as it may seem to you and me both, is in love with you, Jim.”

Jim feels hope rise up in his chest and he tries desperately to shove it down. He cannot afford to think like that, lest he get hurt because of it. There have been too many close calls with ruining…whatever he has going on with Bones. The very thought of getting his hopes up once again over someone who does not, cannot, and will not love him back brings tears to his eyes and a thickness to his throat. “Please, Chris. Don’t do that.” He begs. “Don’t…say shit like that.”

Silence hangs in the room while Jim buries his face in his hands again and kicks his legs against the table. “I’m sorry. I just…I can’t take a chance like that. Not when we’re about to have to go up against Khan. Not when there is so much at stake. It just isn’t worth it to break my own heart over some stupid crush.”

“Jim, you haven’t seen the way he looks at you or the way he gets when there’s any sort of chance you might be hurt. You have not seen him when you’re in surgery or you got sick again.” Christine smiles and shrugs. “I wish I could show you the way he cares about you or replay every worry he’s had over you. When that bomb went off, his first thought was Joanna, sure. But his second thought was you. It took less than a second for him to be worried about you and your life, Jim. I was there.”

“That doesn’t mean-“ Jim attempts to cut in but Christine shuts him down right away.

“Yes it does, and you know it! Jim, he loves you so fucking much that it is disgusting. We’ve all been waiting for you to figure it out but I, frankly, am done with that bullshit.” She puts her hand on Jim’s shoulder and does not move her eyes from him. “Leonard loves you, James. God help him, Leonard McCoy loves you.”

Jim scowls and opens his mouth to speak but is cut off by the entrance of Uhura. She walks straight into the room without knocking even once. “Heya, Jim.” She smiles at him but Jim can see that it does not reach her eyes, and he can tell. “We need to talk.”

Christine steps between the two of them with crossed arms. “Jim just got out of surgery. He needs time, Ny. I don’t care what’s going on but it can wait.”

Nyota shakes her head and pinches the bridge of her nose. She squares herself up in front of the doctor. “It really can’t, Christine.”

“We’re not even sure if he’s stable yet!” 

Rather than respond to her, Nyota leans around to lock eyes with Jim. “McCoy is trying to lock Carol up.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ugh sorry if this sucks a lot


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally finished all my college apps!

“What do you mean McCoy’s trying to lock up Carol?” Jim tries to get out of bed but Chapel shoves him back down with a warning glare. He decides that this is probably not the time to test his limits so he lays back on the inclined bed.

“They think she’s been feeding Khan intel.” 

Jim’s head starts spinning. “That’s bullshit! He knows that she got away from them to save herself, not destroy America!”

Nyota shakes her head and shrugs. “Well, apparently Khan found out about some top secret thing that not even I knew about and blew it up. And Carol seems to be the only member of the team with any knowledge of it.”

Jim’s mouth presses into a thin line. He would punch something if he did not already feel so off balance having just come out of surgery. Of all the people to accuse of being a traitor…

Carol seems obvious, of course, but she has more than redeemed herself at this point. She came to them because she was going to get killed. They know that.

Jim knows Carol and he knows that she would never sell out S.H.I.E.L.D. to Khan of all people. He trusts her. “She didn’t do it.” 

Nyota sighs and sits on the edge of his bed. “Yeah, I know. And I think McCoy knows too…he’s just trying to look out for the team.” She sounds like she’s trying to convince herself of this.

“Or he’s still mad at her.” Jim suggests. 

Nyota’s silence is enough to confirm that she’s been thinking about that too.  
_

Jim bursts into McCoy’s office, blowing past the protests of his secretary and punching the door code with a controlled fury. Despite the brief look of alarm on his face, Bones does not seem surprised at Jim. He purses his lips and stands. “Jim, take a seat.”

Jim ignores his invitation. “What the fuck, Bones?” He takes a deep breath and sets his jaw. “What could you possibly be thinking, locking Carol up like that?”

McCoy sighs and rubs a hand across his forehead. He steps closer to Jim. “We didn’t have a choice.”

Jim takes a step back. “Of course you had a choice, Bones! There had to have been another option. Carol is a _member of this team._ You don’t treat people like this. You have to trust her.”

“She used to work for Khan.”

“She has information on him that we _need_.”

“And vice versa. We should never have let her be so informed.”

“She has been invaluable to us.”

Bones groans and throws his hands up in the air. “She’s the most likely suspect for the leak. We shouldn’t have trusted her.”

“Dammit, Bones! Do you still blame her for Jocelyn?” Jim snaps. His heart pounds out a rapid staccato as he clenches his fist.

The look on McCoy’s face makes Jim’s stomach drop to his feet. It flashes across his sharp features quickly before being covered up once more but it happens just slowly enough for Jim to see the pure pain in it. To say that he regrets bringing her up would be an understatement but it feels too late now. “Bones, you know she tried to save her. And that was long before she even though of coming here.”

“Shut up.” Bones grits out. They’ve been avoiding this subject for over six years.

Jim presses on. “She tried. It was someone else who shot Joss.”

“Don’t.”

“She saved my life that day and almost lost her own, Bones! Don’t hate her because she couldn’t save everyone.”

Suddenly Bones is in Jim’s face. They have only about an inch’s difference in height but at this moment he seems to tower over Jim. “Fuck off, Jim.” He says quietly but the words run through Jim like a knife. “You know what I went though that day and you know I still can’t forget it. But that doesn’t mean that I would let that affect what is going on here and now. This is a real threat, Jim. This is war and if we have a weakness, we have to get rid of it before it costs another life.”

His jaw clenches and Jim watches the flurry of emotions mix through his eyes. “I don’t want to blame Carol and for the most part I don’t. I got over that a long time ago. We have an intel leak, though, and I’m sorry but she’s just the most likely candidate.”

Jim shakes his head and shrugs. He can see the logic in it all but it still feels wrong. He can’t shake it.

“Jim, you know it makes sense.” Bones sounds less angry and more like he’s begging him to listen.

Jim rolls his shoulders and blinks. Blue clashes with hazel as their eyes meet. “And you know that it isn’t right.” He groans and touches the other man’s arm gently. “You know.”

A slight shudder runs through Leo’s body and he looks down at his feet. “Jim, I-I can’t. It’s my responsibility to keep everyone safe and that means doing everything that I can.”

Jim nods and grips his arm more firmly this time. He rubs his thumb in circles and sighs. “I’m here. You know that, right? I hate that you’re doing this but I know where you’re coming from and, well, I’ll kick anyone’s ass who says anything against you.”

McCoy grunts out a laugh and a forced smile. “Thanks, Jim.” 

When Jim finally leaves McCoy’s office with much less anger than he entered it with, he runs face first into the last person he would ever want to. Jim looks up into the eyes of George and considers turning around and walking as far away as he can. It’s been his tactic since the Captain woke up but Jim figures he can only run away for so long before someone gets fed up and punches him or something so he decides to just stand there and wait for a conversation to maybe start. Probably not the best tactic but Jim honestly has no idea how to even start.

George, luckily, seems to have some idea. “You, uh, you got your new ears today, didn’t you?” He gestures at his ears as though worried that Jim can’t actually hear him and he’s trying to do some sort of sign language.

Jim briefly considers pretending that he can’t hear him. “Yesterday, actually. Just got out this morning, though.” He offers up a stiff smile.

“That’s good. I guess we can talk now. I mean, we could probably have figured out how to before but it probably would have taken a while.” A nervous laugh escapes George’s lips and he rubs the back of his neck uncomfortably. “I guess the point is that I’m glad I can get to know you.”

Guilt wells up inside of Jim’s chest at George’s remarks about communication. He knows that he should have tried harder but he can’t help the resistance he feels when the prospect of introducing this man into his life comes up. Apparently Jim hesitates for too long, though, because George pipes up once again. “Or if you don’t want to, I totally get it. It’s probably strange having me back. Er, not back. Just here, I guess.” 

This time it’s Jim rubbing the back of his neck and the similarities in their mannerisms are not lost on him in the least bit. It’s for this reason that he snaps his hand away as though it’s been burned. “No, uh, it’s not that. I’ve been really busy and with my ears being about as dumb as ears can be…well, it hasn’t been working out in our favor, has it?”

He knows that George knows he’s lying. They were both there when Jim freaked out and kicked him out of his apartment. They both experienced Jim refusing to even try to talk to him.

“Alright. Well, whenever you have time…” He smiles again, this time not reaching his eyes, and turns to leave.

“Wait.” Jim calls out reluctantly. George turns back, a hopeful look on his face. “Look, I was just about to grab some lunch and take it to Gaila. Maybe you’d like to come join us?”

-

Jim punches in the code that McCoy gave him to use for today and wrenches open the door. It’s only when Carol’s head snaps up in surprise that he realizes he never told her that he was coming. 

He would regret it except that Carol immediately beams and flings herself across the room to wrap her arms around his neck. “Oh, Jimmy.” She squeezes him almost too tightly.

“Heya, Carol.” He grins and wraps his arms around her. “I managed to convince McCoy to let me bring you food.” 

Carol pulls away and pats his face affectionately. “Oh, Jimmy. Thank you so much.” It’s just then that she spies her other visitor over Jim’s shoulder. She steps away from Jim and rounds him to face George. “Hello, Cap. How are you?”

George smiles and offers a hand, which Carol takes. “I’m doing well, thank you. Can’t say there’s been any way to get myself in trouble while they’re keeping us locked up in here.”

Carol’s responding flinch is miniscule but noticeable if you’re Jim and you’ve spent years keeping an eye on Carol as he is. “Maybe for you. I seem to be able to get myself mixed up in all sorts of trouble.” She laughs it off as if it’s not a big deal that she’s being held under house arrest with very little proof of her involvement. 

Jim furrows his eyebrows and George grimaces awkwardly. “I’m sorry, I-“

Carol waves him off with a sweet smile. “Ah, don’t worry. With what’s going on around here and the timing of it all…I wouldn’t trust me either.”

Jim wraps an arm around Carol and steers her over to the small table on the other side of the room. She’s lucky they let her stay in her own room, just locked up. Jim has seen some of the cells that they have in the building and it is not pretty. “Alrighty, these amazing sandwiches aren’t going to last forever.”

He throws the bag down on the table and shoves Carol down into a chair. She glares up at him but there’s no real heat behind it, Jim can tell. “You subtlety could use some work, Jimmy.”

Jim just laughs and plops down in the chair next to her. He immediately sets to work pulling out the sandwiches and chips out of the bag and setting them out. It’s not until he pulls out a third and Carol casts a glance over to where George is still standing that Jim remembers the man is still here. He pastes a grin on his face and waves him over. “Come on, old man. Didn’t invite you to just stand there.”

This seems to snap George out of whatever self-conscious state he was in-at least partially-and he strides over to the table with significantly more confidence. For a moment, Jim can really see what people saw in him back during the war. The way George holds himself is confidence and power. It is something that Jim cannot put his finger on but that he knows he doesn’t have.

“Alright.” George starts as he sits himself down. “What do we know about what’s going on with the whole Khan thing?” He pulls his food closer to him and starts tucking in.

Jim can’t help the chuckle that escapes his lungs. “Geez, you really get down to business, don’t you?” 

“What? This is sort of the only thing happening in my life right now.” George shrugs unapologetically. “And I’m pretty sure this is important enough to warrant it.”

Carol pats his hand consolingly. “Oh, don’t worry. It was going to come up eventually. You just helped push the conversation along a bit and Jimmy’s not used to not being in control.” She smirks at Jim devilishly. “Isn’t that right?”

Jim frowns at her. It is so like her to betray him just when he needs her to not be herself. “I am plenty good at giving up control, asshole. I was just surprised that he went for it like he did.” He inclines his head at George and addresses him. “Nice going man.”

Watching Jim try awkwardly to try and interact with George, Carol’s face grows increasingly tight. Jim can tell that she does not like what is happening but he just can’t help it. This man-this guy who should be dead but who came back without a single warning for Jim-is not Jim’s father. Jim can’t accept it. He spent too long spinning out of control only to build himself back up with the help of a few select people to let someone new in.

He’s trying to be nice to the man; he can’t do much more.

“I wish I could tell you more, George.” Carol says finally. “But I honestly cannot figure out what Khan’s game is. All of his moves seem so random, like he’s trying to scare us for some reason, but I can’t figure out his goal could be.” She shrugs and picks at the bread of her sandwich. “That’s the worst part about being in here. I would go out and try to find something more but I can’t.” She runs both hands through her hair and groans. “I’m useless in here.”

“Carol, everything you’ve told us has helped us so much.” Jim reaches out and covers her hand with his own. Two years ago, the gesture would have seemed much more intimate and romantic than it does now. Today, all Jim wants to get across is comfort. “God, Carol. Everything that you’ve told us…you’ve risked everything.”

Carol doesn’t look up at him. Instead, she stares at the table resolutely and flexes a muscle in her jaw. Jim waits for her to say something. The time seems to stretch on for an eternity before she finally whispers. “I haven’t risked _everything._ ”

It’s George who presses this time. “What do you mean, you ‘haven’t risked everything’?” He leans forward and rests his elbows on the table. 

“I haven’t told you everything.” Carol admits.

“What?” Jim blurts out. “What have you been holding back, Carol?”

Her gaze flicks between the two men desperately, as though searching for some way out of this. “I would have told you if it had ever become relevant, it just never did.” She pleads. “I’m worried that it might now.”

Jim doesn’t say anything, just waits for Carol to explain herself like he knows that she will. George, apparently is not so patient. “What the hell do you mean?”

“The agent who killed Jocelyn.” 

Jim freezes and pulls his hand away slowly. They had assumed that is was just a typical Area 31 agent that made the shot that sealed so many of their fates that day but the way that Carol is talking hints at them being so much more. His head spins with the possibilities. “Carol-“

She cuts him off before he can get more than her name out. “Most people don’t even believe that she exists but I’ve seen her. I’ve got the scar to prove that I did. I got in between you and her and, well, you’ve seen what I got left with, Jimmy.” Her hand goes to her abdomen, where Jim knows there is a scar about two inches long from where she got shot that day. Finally knowing the story of one of her infamous battle wounds, his mind races with all of the possibilities.

“She’s their sort of secret weapon. You think _I’m_ good at what I do? You think they turned _me_ into a machine?” She laughs mirthlessly. “I have _nothing_ on the Winter Soldier. She does what she’s told and gets out and disappears afterwards. Over two hundred supposed hits throughout the years but no way to trace her.”

Jim’s blood runs ice cold through his veins. Someone like that, a woman who could kill that many people and just disappear, was not someone he would ever want anywhere near the people he loves. “You think Khan might bring her here?”

Carol shrugs and pulls her arms in toward herself. “They bring her out for the big games. When they really want to get something done.” She meets Jim’s eyes again. “All the signs are pointing to it.”

-

When Christopher Pike finally drags himself home, it’s past midnight and he feels like his bones have been replaced by lead. He shoves his thumb onto the scanner that only he has access to and waits to hear the predictable click of the door unlocking.

He shoves open the door and throws his bag down. He has two goals tonight: a strong drink and a shower. He would say a long night’s sleep but he’s a bit more realistic about his life than that. Sleeping and having the job that he does do not exactly go hand in hand.

His hand feels along the wall for the light switch but he freezes when he sees light pouring in from the living room. A burst of adrenaline runs through his veins and he grasps for his gun. 

He doesn’t bother to be quiet as he walks down the hall, weapon held at the ready. Whoever it is surely knows that he’s home by now. If it’s who he thinks it is, they were waiting for him.

Chris steps into the living room quickly and it only takes him a split second to sight his target and aim the handgun at a man with cropped black hair and piercing eyes. “Khan.”

The man smiles wickedly and holds up a glass of Pike’s own whiskey. “Christopher.” He smirk only grows wider as he takes in Pike’s stance. “Oh, come now. There’s no need to act like that. We can be civilized, can’t we?”

The predatory look in his eyes betrays his words. Pike stiffens and doesn’t lower his arms. “You passed civilized a long time ago, Khan.”

Khan takes a sip of whiskey and frowns as though truly hurt. “Christopher, you wound me. I do believe you’ll find me to be more than I seem to be.” He gestures at the arm chair on the opposite side of the room. “Come, sit. We need to have a bit of a chat.” 

He’s acting as though it is his home and not Pike’s. Everything about the situation sets Pike’s hairs on end but he knows better than to shoot without asking questions first. He lowers his gun but keeps it in his hand as he moves to sit where Khan suggested. “Unless that chat includes you turning yourself in, I’m afraid we won’t get much of anywhere.”

“Please. Don’t be foolish, Christopher. We both know you’re smarter than that.” He stands and crosses to the bar on the other side of the room. The fact that he turns his back on Pike is more alarming than it is comforting. “Would you like something to drink? I’m afraid your selection here is quite inadequate but we make do, don’t we?”

“Please, make yourself at home.” Pike intones flatly.

Khan turns back and hands him a drink. Pike sets it on the coffee table without taking a single sip. Khan tuts. “Now, now, we don’t want to be rude. Drink up.” His eyes flash yet another warning. “Don’t worry, I need you alive to talk to you. No poison this time.”

Chris doesn’t break eye contact with Khan as he picks up the tumbler and takes a sip. Nothing tastes off in it but he keeps his guard up nonetheless. He ignores the slight burn as the alcohol slides down his throat. “What are you trying to do, Khan?”

Khan settles back in the leather armchair and taps his fingers on the arm. “Oh, Christopher, do you know nothing of foreplay?”

“I think blowing up my best scientists and trying to kill some of my agents was foreplay enough.” 

“I want to help you, Christopher.” Khan says simply.

“How could you possibly help me? Why would I _need_ your help?”

“Because I am _better_.”The statement is delivered like some obvious truth.

“At?”

“ _Everything._ ” Khan smiles again. “You lack control. I seek to bring what the world needs.”

Pike reaches for his pocket and his cell to call McCoy but the look Khan gives him tells him that it is not a good idea. “Christopher, you don’t want to do that.”

He frowns but moves his hand away from his pocket. He settles back in his seat but doesn’t allow himself to release the tension in every line of his stance. “I can’t let you walk out of here, Khan. You know that.”

Khan stands, his lean frame silhouetted by the light from the city outside. He adjusts his suit coat and hums thoughtfully. “And you know that I can’t let you keep me here. I have much bigger plans.”

“And how do you plan on getting away?” Pike inquires.

Khan reaches behind himself and pulls a gun out of the back of his pants. He points it at Pike with a careful ease. “I do believe you’ll find yourself otherwise engaged.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments are caring, likes are love!


	11. Chapter 11

Leonard’s mind is made up as he walks down the hall towards Jim’s door. He’s going to do this. Ha has almost lost Jim far too many times to not do this. Jim has to know that what Leonard feels for him runs far deeper than the archer probably knows. 

He doesn’t let himself pause to think before knocking on Jim’s door. He has already done enough thinking; has spent hours talking to himself and nearly stopping himself from doing this. Waiting isn’t an option anymore.

“Bones?” Jim blinks at Leo. His blond hair is ruffled from sleep and it pulls at something that Leonard has been denying for far too long. “It’s one in the morning. Did something happen? Is something wrong?” He looks slightly panicked as he turns back to his room, presumably to get dressed and attack whatever threat could possibly be waiting for him. 

Leonard catches his shoulder and spins Jim back around to look at him. “Nothing’s wrong Jim. I just had to tell you something. It’s important.”

Most of the worry drips from Jim’s face but Leo can tell he’s not totally relaxed. “What is it?” 

“Jim, I-“ Just as he opens his mouth to finally say what he’s been wanting to say for months, what he’s needed to admit before he loses his chance, Leo’s phone rings. He doesn’t want to pick it up but he knows that he really has no other choice so he pulls it out of his pocket and presses it to his face, holding a finger up to a Jim who looks slightly disappointed. “Hello?”

_“Pike’s been shot.”_

“Sulu? What do you mean, Pike’s been shot?” Leo makes eye contact with a suddenly very pale Jim. “What’s going on?”

“We’re not sure but it looks like Khan got into the building somehow and shot him.” 

“Is he alive?”

A pause on the other end of the line makes Leo’s heart stop. “Dammit, Sulu, is he alive?”

_“Barely. He’s in surgery now. You need to get down here as quickly as possible.”_

“I’m on my way.” Leo hangs up and glares at the phone for a moment as if doing so could make all of this not happen. 

“Bones, what’s happening? Did you say Pike’s been shot?” Jim’s voice is small and full of concern as he searches for answers in Leo’s eyes. “What’s going on?”

Leo runs a hand through his hair and shakes his head. “Khan got to him, apparently. Come on, put your shoes on and we’ll go.”

-

The hospital wing of S.H.I.E.L.D. tower is impressive, to say the least. Their medical center is set up to avoid the need for any other place of medical treatment. It’s impressive on its own but with Christine Chapel running it all with an iron fist, it is unmatched by anything else in the world.

It’s only this knowledge that keeps Leonard’s heart from beating right out of his chest as he stares in the observation window at Christine working on Pike. She moves quickly and precisely as she tries desperately to save the life of their director. His breath catches every time one of the monitors blares a warning and Christine is called to action yet again with measures that may only temporarily work.

Jim’s fingers have tangled themselves with Leonard’s at some point during it all. He tries not to focus on it; tries not to feel the warmth that blossoms inside of him at the intimate touch but Leo can’t help it. It’s the only thing that grounds him at this moment when he feels as though he may be carried away by the thoughts of impending responsibility. 

He’s going to have to take charge soon, from the looks of it. Even if Pike pulls through the surgery, he’ll be in no place to lead them. McCoy knows this. He knows that he will have to take up the mantel and try to lead the fight against Khan and 31. There’s no time to wait or to trouble himself with thinking about loving Jim when they’re resting on a knife’s edge.

“McCoy. Kirk.” Sulu nods to each of them in turn before handing Leonard a folder. “We managed to get some security footage of Khan. Still no leads on how he got in exactly but we know what he told Pike before he…well, before he shot Pike.”

Leonard pulls his hand away from Jim’s and opens the folder up to flip through it. Grainy images of Khan walking through Pike’s apartment and picking up various objects. Briefings that he will read through later but right now he needs answers fast. “What did he say? Do we know what he’s trying to do?”

Sulu shakes his head and purses his lips. “He said he was looking for…order. I’m not sure what he meant by that but it can’t be good, McCoy. It just can’t be.”

McCoy nods in agreement. “Sounds exactly like the madman we’ve always known he was.”

“We’re not safe here.” Jim blurts out. “We have to get out.”

“Where are we supposed to go? Khan has already shown us that he knows our secrets by attacking the Library. There’s nowhere we can run that he won’t find us.” Leonard snaps the folder shut and looks down at Pike again. “No matter where we go, he’s going to have to stay here. We can’t move him when he’s like this.”

“We can’t protect New York if we’re not here and we have to assume that he’s a threat to the public as well as us.” Sulu adds. “We can’t leave in good conscience when it seems the fight is starting.”

Jim nods even though he does not seem completely convinced. It does not surprise Leonard in the least, knowing Jim as he does. 

Hikaru waits a beat for further conversation before giving a sharp jerk of his head back toward the door. “I have to get back. We’re working on some leads for where Khan could be.” 

“Alright, go on.” Leonard waves him off. He watches Sulu walk away before Leo finally turns back to Jim and rests a hand on his bicep. “It’s going to be okay, kid. We have a plan and you guys are the best god-damn team this side of the galaxy.”

Jim smiles at him. It’s a small smile that can barely be seen but it’s genuine and it makes Leonard feel warmer than anything has in a while. “What were you going to tell me earlier? You said it was important.”

Leonard’s stomach twists and he steels himself. This is now or never, it seems. “Jim, I know that we’ve been…doing whatever we’re doing…for a while now but you have to know-“

“Somebody tell me what the hell is going on before I make sure that all of you get fired and arrested.” A sharp voice cuts through what Leonard was about to say and he turns to see an intimidating woman with dark brown hair stride down the hall toward them. She sheds her long black coat and practically throws it at her harried looking assistant. 

Leonard winces slightly at the sight of her. Pike’s wife, Miranda “Number One” Pike, is without a doubt one of the most terrifying individuals alive. McCoy is sure he outranks her in theory, but he’s never seen her even take orders from Pike himself and Leonard is not entirely sure what her job really is. “Number One, how nice to see you. I didn’t know you were coming in today.”

He’s more than a little bit peeved that he’s been interrupted with Jim not once but twice today but it really should not come as that much of a surprise. He knows what his job-what his life-is like.

Number One shoots him a withering glare. “Of course you didn’t. I did not know myself until I got a call telling me that my husband had been shot.” She presses her lips together into a thin, terse line. “I had just gotten out of a meeting with an Albanian terror cell and was really looking forward to a night in.”

Leonard raises an eyebrow. “I never heard anything about an Albanian terror threat.”

“That’s because I do my god-damn job.” Number One snaps. “I swear, this place is run by children.”

Before Leonard can snap back and really get himself in trouble, Jim cuts in with a smile. “We’re so sorry about this, Miranda, really. I assure you, Sulu is working on piecing this all together as we speak. For now, all we know is that Khan shot Pike. We’re looking for him diligently, don’t worry.”

Number One mutters a curse in a language that Leonard does not understand and slaps her hand on the observation window. She looks down through the glass at Pike. “You idiot.” She murmurs fondly. “You fucking idiot.” She turns back to face Jim and Leonard. “He sent me with specific instructions to ask the Albanians about John Harrison. He wouldn’t tell me why at the time but it makes a hell of a lot more sense now.”

“John Harrison?” Jim inquires. “Who’s that?”

Number One’s eyebrows knit together. “You mean he didn’t tell you?” Twin shakes of the head from McCoy and Kirk answer her question. “Well, it all boils down to the fact that Khan is not his real name. This much should be obvious.”

Leonard’s other eyebrow shoots up now. It wasn’t obvious. He knew that the man went by many names but “Khan” was assumed to be his real name until now. At least, to McCoy and everyone else on the team save Pike.

The fact does, however, explain why it was so hard to track him. “What did you find out about him?”

“Well, we didn’t know his real name until just recently and believe me, it took a lot of effort. But once we got that, it opened up a lot of doors. He’s been funding a lot of terrorists in different countries. So many of them have been armed by him but none of them have gone into motion yet. It’s almost like Harrison is building an army.”

“Shit.” Leonard runs a hand through his hair. “That makes sense.”

“What do you mean?”

“The tapes that Sulu’s team found,” Jim starts, “Khan was talking about “restoring order” or something like that. Forming an army sort of fits into that whole thing. And he’s been doing it underground, keeping it separated so that we wouldn’t notice, it’s genius.” He gets a sort of dreamy look in his eyes as he goes on and McCoy bristles. 

“Dammit, Jim! He’s a madman, not a genius.”

“To be fair, Bones, he’s sort of both. More crazy than crazy smart, though, I’ll give you that.” He shrugs and catches the twin looks of disbelief on Number One and Bones’ faces. “What? You _know_ it’s true.”

Leonard shakes his head and waves him off. “Jim’s little crush aside, he’s right. Whatever Khan is really going for, he’s going for the whole enchilada. He’s been moving slower’n molasses on a cold tin roof up until now, but I get the feeling that things are about to heat up.” 

Number One smiles slightly. “You know, I’m glad Pike put the two of you in charge. You remind me of us when we were younger.” She turns to leave at that but pauses just as she’s about to go around the corner. “Keep me updated.”

“Will do, ma’am.” Jim offers a little salute and Leonard notices that he’s got a slight blush on his cheeks. Probably has everything to do with the compliment and nothing to do with the fact that they just got compared to a married couple. (Something that is definitely sticking in Leonard’s mind.)

Leonard hesitates for a moment, not sure if this is really the right time to try to continue his confession from before, but decides that this is probably the moment to do it if ever there was one. “Jim, I-“

“Well, I’m going to go back to bed.” Jim slaps Leonard on the shoulder and smiles a grin that does not reach his eyes. “See you tomorrow.”

“Hey, wait.” Leonard catches Jim’s wrist in his fingers and pulls him back. “I need to talk to you.”

Jim glares down at his feet and whispers, “Please don’t do this, Bones.”

So he knows. Leonard’s heart sinks to his feet. He thought that maybe he had a chance but Jim is clearly not on board with this. He loosens his grip. “Jim, I’m sorry.”

“No, it’s okay. I mean, I was expecting you to do this eventually. Guess I just wasn’t expecting it so soon.”

Leonard furrows his brow. “What do you mean?”

“I knew that you were going to want to end what we’re doing.” Jim looks up finally with a frown. “Is that not what you were going to say earlier?”

As realization hits him, Leonard cannot help but bark out a laugh. Jim turns an impossibly brighter shade of red and pulls his arm away. “Okay, you don’t have to laugh at me.” He tries to walk away again.

This time, Leonard catches him around the waist and pulls him in to kiss him. Jim is slack under his grip at first until Leonard presses more insistently against his mouth and Jim finally starts responding. Leo’s tongue slips into his mouth and he moves slowly as if he could accurately portray what he’s been so afraid to say for months by tracing it out inside of Jim’s mouth.

Jim is the one to finally break the connection, looking breathless and even more confused. “Okay, so clearly this is not what I thought it was.”

Leonard shakes his head and presses his forehead to Jim’s. “No, it’s not. I’m not trying to break anything off with you, Jim. In fact, I’m trying to do just the opposite.”

Jim stiffens slightly and his eyes go wide. “Wait, do you mean-“

“I love you, Jim.” Leonard finally admits. “I love you so much that it hurts some days to look at you. I can’t stand to do this anymore and you need to know.” 

Jim surges forward and presses a firm kiss to Leo’s lips. “Bones, are you fucking kidding me? I’ve been trying to do the same thing for months but I was convinced you didn’t want me.”

Leonard laughs quietly and shrugs as much as he can whilst wearing Jim like a sweater. “We’re not the brightest bunch, are we?”

“Apparently not.” Jim grins and this time it seems to encompass his whole face, eyes squinching up in happiness. Leonard’s heart stutters uncomfortably in his chest just like it always does when the other man directs a look like that in his direction.

“Things are going to get really hard soon.” Jim breaks eye contact to glance down at where Christine seems to be stitching Pike up finally. “Really hard.”

Leonard sighs. “Yeah, kid, yeah they are. That’s why I had to tell you.” He takes a deep breath and rolls his shoulders. “I couldn’t bear the thought of losing another person and not having you know.”

Jim turns them so that Leonard is pressed up against the window and presses close to him, kissing him with a sort of urgency. Leonard goes a bit limp and lets Jim hold the both of them up. It goes on for so long that he’s not entirely sure where Jim ends and he begins. “I’m not going anywhere, Bones.” Jim whispers against his lips.

“You can’t guarantee that.” Leonard retorts. “Hell, I can’t make that sort of promise to you.”

Jim backs up slightly and leans in toward Leo, his hands supporting him on either side of the brunet’s head. “I promise you, Leonard McCoy, I will not leave you. I will fight tooth and nail to stay here with you. Nothing is more important to me than that.” And it’s the most serious that Leo has ever heard him be in years.

He can only really nod. “Okay.”

“I mean it.”

“I know, Jim.” He pauses before raising his hand and signing, [[I love you.]]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as always, feedback is appreciated


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yaaaay here we go actual action!

The first thought Jim has upon waking is that Leonard has a much better apartment than him. The fact that he has windows alone is proof enough of this. At this moment, however, with Leonard pulling Jim into his chest Jim hates the windows and the sun streaming in. He closes his eyes grumpily in a vain attempt to block out the light and scoots closer to Bones.

Just as he has been since he was young, though, Jim cannot fall back to sleep once he’s awake. He cannot really count it as a loss, though, when Bones is curled around him and Jim is finally allowed to touch and explore the way he’s always wanted too. He attaches his mouth the Leo’s collarbone, sucking a trail of light bruises there while the hand that isn’t pinned beneath the other man trails slowly over the hard planes of Bones’ back and chest. The small bit of softness that frames his muscle makes Jim smile and remember the days Leonard spent complaining about “wasting away at a desk job” after he got promoted.

Eventually, Jim’s ministrations wake Leo up, accompanied by a light shifting and vibrations in Bones’ chest that Jim assumes is a fair bit of grumbling at being woken up early. Jim smirks, wrenches his hand out from under him, and signs a quick [[Good morning]] before kissing Bones leisurely.

The response from the other man comes quickly and Jim smiles into the kiss as fingers wind through his hair. It’s only been one day since they finally ( _finally_ ) got their act together, a day full of tension and meetings and training (and uniform fittings, which are always so much fun), but they fit surprisingly easily into these rolls. It makes Jim’s heart stutter to think about how _right_ it all feels.

Just as quickly as their early morning rendezvous started, though, Jim is being shoved off of Leo and the blanket is pulled up to Jim’s chin. Leonard looks slightly panicked as he scrambles to grab at the nightstand and shove the remote to Jim’s aides at him. Utterly confused, Jim peeks over Bones at what could possibly be making him panic like he is. He catches sight of Joanna standing in the doorway with her arms crossed and Jim grins sheepishly before turning his aides on. “Hey, Jo.”

“Jim.” She nods at him before turning to her father. “Leonard.”

“Joanna, we weren’t…” Leonard starts, blush firmly in place on his face.

Joanna puts a hand up to silence him. “Please, I don’t need you to paint me a picture.”

“I wasn’t painting a picture I was just…” Leonard huffs and pouts. “Never mind. What do you need, Jo-bean?”

Jim smiles a little bit when Joanna wrinkles up her nose at the nickname. “I’m not six, Dad. And I’m just letting you know that I’m going to go to the shooting range and practice for when shit finally goes down.” She locks eyes with Jim and raises an eyebrow (must be a McCoy thing) “Perhaps a certain Hawkeye would like to join me?”

Leonard tenses up and sits straight in bed, blanket still draped over his hips and legs. “Look, Jo, we need to talk. I don’t want you out there when Jim and the others are handling Khan.”

Jim casts his eyes down as Joanna glares directly at _him_ and not her father and says, “Why?” Jim knew that Leonard was going to do this, of course, and she knows that he knew.

“Honey, don’t get mad at Jim.”

“Well, he should have told me! He should have told you that this is stupid! I’m fucking pissed!” She fumes and throws her hands up in the air. “Why are you doing this, Dad?”

“Language, Joanna Elizabeth.” Leonard warns her. “I’m doing this to keep you safe.”

Joanna stands up straight and glares at him sternly. “I’m not made of glass, Dad. I’m smart and I’m strong. I’m not going to die like Mom did.” 

Jim hisses in a breath between his teeth and places a hand on Leo’s shoulder tenderly. He can feel the tension building. “Joanna McCoy, don’t you dare think for a second that your mother was not smart or strong. She was all of that and more and she died because this job is dangerous. I do not want the same thing for you when you’re only sixteen years old.” Leonard grits out.

“But Dad-“

“NO.” He shouts a bit more forcefully than he probably meant to. “Joanna, you will listen to me. This is about your life. I have let you run around pretending to be a hero for too long and it ends today. This guy is smarter than some thuggish Russian with a gun bigger than his brain, which means he’s a hell of a lot smarter. You are not going out there, and that’s final.”

The heartbreak in Jo’s eyes almost makes Jim want to change his stance on the whole thing. He supports Leo completely, and has told him so before. Joanna is good at what she does but Jim knows that she deserves something safer and better than the life that Jim leads. He would rather die tomorrow than see Joanna put in that sort of danger. “Jo, this is what’s best, I promise.”

“Shut up, Jim. Just because you’re fucking my father doesn’t mean you have any right to act like you have any sort of authority over me.” She snaps at him with a glare. Jim shrinks away from her and tries to ignore the sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach. 

“Apologize to him, young lady.” Leonard growls at his daughter. He turns back to Jim and takes one of his hands. He offers him an apologetic glance which Jim meets with a faked smile and a nod. 

“He isn’t my Dad. He will never be that for me. He’s just some guy that saved himself and couldn’t save my actual mother.” She sneers slightly. “Did you even try, Jim?”

Jim stares down at his hands. He picks at his nail beds as tears well up in his eyes. He can’t even run away here. He has to sit there and feel all of the blame that Joanna is directing at him. He tells himself that she doesn’t mean any of it but the message doesn’t sink in. “I’m sorry, Jo. I tried. I really did.”

“Yeah right.” 

“He did, Joanna.” Leonard’s voice is no longer as angry as it was and now sounds tired and sad. “I let you read the reports, you know it’s true.”

“I’m going to go practice.” Ignoring Leonard and Jim, Joanna turns to leave the room. “See you later.”

“First sign of trouble and you’re going into one of the safe rooms, okay?” Leonard actually sounds like he’s asking and it’s something that Jim was not expecting.

Joanna faces them again and smiles a little. “Alrighty, Dad. Talk to you later.”

Leonard flops back in bed as soon as he hears Joanna walk down the hall. He throws his right arm over his face and gropes around blindly for Jim’s hand with his left. Jim does not bother to suppress his grin as he twines their fingers together. “You alright?”

“She’s just like her mother.” Leo mumbles around the mouthful of arm that he currently has. “What am I supposed to do.”

Jim laughs and drapes himself over Bones. “Fear for your soul, essentially.”

“True that.” 

Jim props himself up on his arms and trails his eyes over Leonard’s body slowly. He sighs in resignation. He really does not have time to engage in any of the activities that he would really like to. “I have to go.”

Bones moves his arm away from his eyes and raises an eyebrow. “Then why the hell aren’t you leaving?”

Jim hums and rests his head on his boyfriend’s (and isn’t that a scary word) chest. “You’re comfy.”

“I’m not a mattress, Jim.”

“But you’re so good at it. You should pursue it as a career if this whole Director of S.H.I.E.L.D. thing doesn’t work out.” 

“And you should join the circus.” Leonard deadpans.

Jim pulls his leg up to show off his rather impressive flexibility. “Been there, done that. Lost the t shirt, actually, which is a bit of a bummer.”

It only takes a second for Bones to flip them over so that Jim is pinned beneath him, leg still extended. “Keep doing shit like that, kid, and you’re never getting out of here.”

“Not exactly discouraging me, Bones.”

“Not trying to.”

They lock eyes and Bones seems to almost be daring Jim to try something. He almost succeeds except that Jim really can’t stay. He groans and rolls away. “I really have to go, Bonesy.”

Leonard sighs and flops over on his back. “Fine, abandon me.”

Jim rolls his eyes. He pulls on his track pants quickly and runs over to Leonard’s dresser to steal a t-shirt. The dark blue cotton garment is too large in the shoulders but Jim grins and revels in the comfort of wearing it. “Don’t act like you won’t be busy today, too.”

“Don’t even talk about it. Some of these agents…I swear. I need a lot of strength to be able to handle them.” Leonard sits up and runs his hands through his hair which only really helps to make it messier. “That looks good on you.”

Jim grins and walks back to the bed. He fixes Bones’ hair with a few combs of his fingers and presses a kiss to the top of his head. It scares him how domestic it all feels but decides that the smile on Bones’ face is more than worth it. “Get up and put on a tie, big boy. You have work to do. And remember, if you need me to, I can always send you a dick pic as a little pick-me-up.” 

Jim winks and saunters out of the room to the sounds of Bones choking on air and feebly protesting. It’s going to be a good day.

-

“These are pictures of the cells that are known to be affiliated with Khan.” Number One pulls up several photographs on the large touch screens.

Gaila sits back in her chair and glances over at Sulu, who seems to be ensconced in whatever is on his tablet. She would accuse him of playing Galaga (because it did happen once and she will definitely never let it go), but his new-albeit temporary-promotion does not afford him time to goof off as they used to. Gaila herself is feeling the new pressure being not fourth but third in the chain of command now. 

She pushes herself out of her chair and strolls over to the screens. She glares at the screens, looking for similarities there rather than the obvious arms of the same make. “Cupcake, come up here.” She calls to where her own “first officer” is sitting at a desk, taking notes on who knows what. “I need your eyes.”

Jeremy “Cupcake” Hendorff snaps to attention and is at her side in a moment. Gaila smiles at him. The guy can be a real idiot sometimes but when it comes to doing his work, there’s no one else that Gaila trusts to do it. “What do you need, Gaila?”

“Look at these pictures.” Gaila points to them. “I’m trying to find a common thread.”

“I’m assuming you mean besides the guns.”

“Obviously.”

Cupcake nods once and Gaila takes a step back to let him do his work. After a few moments of pacing in front of the screens, he starts tapping on them and zooming in on different parts of them. After a few moments of clarifying and positioning, he steps back. “There. The patches.”

Gaila narrows her eyes and stands next to Cupcake. “Patches?”

“They all have the same patch on their uniforms.” Cupcake clarifies. “Can’t be a coincidence.”

 

“Holy shit.” Number One mutters from the back of the room. “How did we not notice that before? Let me see if I can get a clearer picture of it.” 

A few taps of some buttons later, the room falls even more silent than it previously was. Sulu stands from his seat and puts his tablet down on the table slowly. He blinks a few times as though not believing what is clearly in front of his eyes. “That can’t be…can it?”

“It has to be.” Gaila frowns at the unmistakable set of wings on the badge. It’s a symbol of a time thought to be long past. “It’s Romulus.”

“I thought we got all of the old Romulans back in the fifties…” Cupcake cocks his head and glances to Gaila for confirmation. 

She nods at him shortly. “We all did. Winona Kirk dedicated her life to it and Al Uhura Senior took it up after her death.”

“You can’t kill an idea, though.” Number One adds. “Even if they _were_ successful in tracking them all down, someone might have found their ideals written down somewhere and decided that it seemed like a good idea.”

“Is it possible that Khan has no connections to Romulus and it’s just a coincidence that the insignias looks similar?” Sulu sounds more than a little bit hopeful as he offers his suggestion.

Gaila looks at him incredulously. “Karu, we both know that stuff doesn’t just happen, no matter what we tell the public.” 

“What does this mean?” Cupcake inquires. “What do we do now?”

“It means,” Number One speaks grimly, “That we were preparing ourselves for something much smaller than what is coming.”

-

“Star spangled man with a plan.” Jim sings as George enters the gym. He’s wearing his own perfectly tailored uniform and shoots Jim a slightly murderous glare. 

“Very funny.” George deadpans. He sets down his shield by the door, stares down at himself, and shrugs. “Could be worse…I used to have to wear tights.”

“It’s a lot more bullet proof nowadays.” Jim chuckles.

“Or I could be wearing purple.” George points at Jim’s own new vest and grins crookedly.

Jim pouts and folds his arms across his chest over the dark purple chevron. “It used to be maroon, I have no idea why they changed it.”

“Probably because we have no control over our own lives.” George suggests and Jim supposes he’s joking but it sounds almost genuine on a certain level.

Jim waves his arms around himself in a broad gesture. “What can you do? Anyway, I’d rather be here helping people than sitting on my ass doing nothing. I suppose it’s worth it on some level and it’s not too bad, in the end.”

“Yeah, I guess. Anyway, where else is a defrosted dead guy supposed to go?”

They end up both lifting weights separately for the next half hour. Apparently the Powers That Be need to make sure their clothes are comfortable, flexible, and breathable. Jim snorts at the idea of Kevlar ever truly being comfortable. Jim sneaks looks over at the man who is supposed to be his father and tries to find bits of himself in him. He’s sure they both have the same smile and the way George talks is somewhat familiar but he can’t really see them ever being incredibly similar people.

Jim racks his weights and is just about to leave when George racks his own barbell (which appears to be holding about 700 pounds on it and the guy isn’t even breaking a sweat) and asks, “Wanna spar a bit?”

Jim almost says no but instead he cocks his head toward the boxing ring on the other side of the gym and shrugs. “Sure, why not? It’ll help to break this stuff in, at the very least.”

The corners of George’s mouth quirk up and he nods. “Yeah, that’s what I was thinking.”

In theory, sparring with Captain America didn’t seem like that bad of an idea, but when Jim is actually face to face with the guy who they say can bench press 2,000 pounds, it’s more than a little bit intimidating. He holds his fists up in front of his face and tries to remember what it was that Gaila was telling Jim George’s weaknesses are.

Balance, flexibility, technique. Jim recites the reported problems in his head with no idea whether or not George has actually worked on and fixed these issues. 

The first punch comes and Jim ducks under it easily. He does this for the next few punches and doesn’t throw any of his own, just trying to get a feel for how the George fights. 

George is loud and there and he swings without any thought of missing. Jim notices the incredibly determined look on his face as if he’s gone somewhere else and is in a mindset that no one should ever want to face. Jim can work with this. If he plays low and defensive and works on moving around the hits in ways that George does not expect, he can take him down, easy. 

Jim finally throws a punch of his own and George brings a hand up immediately to block it, something that Jim was expecting with George’s incredibly fast reflexes. What _George_ probably wasn’t expecting was for Jim to hook a foot behind his knee and bring him to his knees. The wide-eyed looks is priceless and Jim grins wolfishly as the hero falls to the ground.

“That’s dirty.” George breathes out.

“That’s a bar fight in Iowa.” Jim spits to the side. “You can learn a lot there.”

George pulls himself to his feet and eyes Jim like he’s trying to figure him out. “Yeah, I know. I used to get into a fair amount of fights with thugs, myself.”

“Thugs, you?” Jim eyes the silver star set on dark blue on George’s chest. “Forgive me if I don’t believe America’s golden boy was winning fights in alleys.”

“Oh, I certainly wasn’t winning.”

Any laugh or witty comment that Jim was going to come up with is silenced by a bullet whizzing just inches past George’s head. Jim acts on instinct and tackles him to the ground. He looks toward the source and sees a woman dressed in black with a face mask and what appears to be a silver metal arm. “Shit.” He doesn’t bother to whisper. It’s clear that she already knows they’re there.

Another bullet comes at them and Jim throws all of his weight into rolling them over and away again. He pushes himself to his feet and runs over to the weapons rack, where one of his bows sits primly. He grabs a gun and throws it over to George and keeps his eyes on the woman who is stalking closer and closer to them, gun trained on George.

“Who are you?” George asks. 

Jim rolls his eyes and points to the gun in her hands. “Dude, shut up and shoot her before she kills you!”

Her gaze flicks over to him and Jim shudders under the icy blue glare. It seems almost familiar but Jim is sure he’s never met anyone with eyes so full of murder before in his life. It’s almost like she has absolutely nothing in her mind. 

He raises his bow and aims it at her chest. “Take one more step.”

Surprisingly enough, she stops. The bottom half of her face is blocked by the mask but Jim would bet money that she’s smirking at him by the way her eyes narrow. A chill runs through his spine. “Drop the gun.”

Once again, Jim is shocked to find that she does what he asks. She puts her hands, one black gloved and one silver and glinting in the fluorescent light of the gym, in the air.

He looks to his side and sees that George, blessedly still has his gun pointed at her head. 

Jim steels himself against her terrifying gaze and starts talking, “Look, I don’t know why you’re here or how you got in but you have to be smarter than this, honestly.”

No response, just a slight incline of the head.

“You can’t honestly think you could waltz in here and attempt to kill two of the Avengers without getting caught or killed.” Jim shrugs. “I know what the tabloids say, but we’re really not all idiots.”

Despite what Jim says about not being an idiot, Jim takes a step toward her. This seems to trigger something in her mind and she launches herself at George. She disarms him with terrifying speed and bends his arm behind his back.

George grunts and manages to flip her over his back, leaving her staring up at the ceiling while he stands over her. She grasps at a knife in a holster on her thigh and flips herself to her feet like she didn’t just get thrown around like a rag doll.

Jim takes a step forward but George flaps a hand at him. Jim takes the hint and watches the two of them grapple with each other. Both of them are talented, but George fights like he’s standing for something and the woman (who Jim assumes is the “Winter Soldier” that Carol was talking about) fights like she wants to destroy everyone and everything.

She manages to get her metal hand around George’s neck and gets him pressed up against the wall. Jim watches her stare at him with dead eyes while he struggles. Jim is about to loose an arrow into her head when George makes one final swing at her face and knocks the mouth shield off. She stumbles back a few steps.

Jim and George gasp in unison. Jim would recognize that face anywhere, it’s been posted so much all over his life. 

It’s George, however, who finally dares to say “Winona.”

She frowns at them and growls out, “Who the hell is Winona?” Before turning and sprinting toward the windows.

Jim looses an arrow just as she jumps out of the opening and disappears.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> feedback appreciated and encouraged


	13. Chapter 13

“Fuck.” Jim spits out. He stares out of the open window and cannot seem to find any sort of trace of a clue to where she went. “What _was_ that? I mean seriously, who the fuck pulls shit like that? And she just _leaves?”_

He spins around and makes to talk to George about it but freezes when he sees the man in question sitting on the floor, head resting on the wall behind him, eyes shut. George lets out a shaky breath and cracks his eyes open. He brings a hand up to swipe at the thin cut across his left cheek that the woman put there.

“Hey, Man, are you okay?” Jim is across the room in a few short steps. He kneels next to George and tries to check him for any obvious signs of concussion. “Are you feeling okay? She slammed you into that wall pretty hard. Are you nauseous? Blurred vision?”

“I just saw a ghost, Jim.”

Jim freezes. He would deny the fact that it was Winona, but Jim saw it too so he just says, “She looked just like all of the pictures.”

He doesn’t say, “Except for a few new scars.”

George nods. “She’s beautiful.”

“She tried to kill you.”

“Yeah.”

Jim is not sure of what to say so he sits cross-legged on the floor next to his father. He tries not to stare at him but he cannot help the small glances that he sneaks. George, who is younger mentally and physically than Jim by almost two years, looks ten years older than both of them should.

Jim sighs and leans back against the wall, mirroring George’s posture. 

Whatever sort of moment Jim and George were having is abruptly interrupted by six guys dressed all in black with bullet proof vests bursting into the room with guns at the ready. Jim stiffens and prepares to fight until his eyes land on the S.H.I.E.L.D. crest on their uniforms. 

“Jim! George! Are you alright?” Gaila runs in and kneels by them. Jim notices that she doesn’t holster her gun. “We were alerted about a trespasser and unauthorized gunfire in here.”

“Well, your system is working.” George mutters. “But, sadly, the trespasser in question is gone.”

“Gone? Where?”

Jim points to the window. “She jumped.”

Gaila snaps her fingers and directs two of her people over to the window. “Go see if you can figure out where she went. And someone get a bandage on Cap’s face.”

“I heal quickly.” George mumbles and touches his face again. “It should be good by now.”

Jim and Gaila exchange a look as George brings his hand away from his face with blood stained fingertips. He seems genuinely shocked and confused. “I think there was something on that blade.”

His voice is still slightly slurred and it alarms Jim in all the wrong ways. “Gaila, I think maybe we should get him to Chapel. Like, now.” He pipes up. “If there was something on that knife, we have a very limited amount of time to do anything about it.”

“Alright.” Gaila’s voice is low and Jim sees her hand twitch in a way that he knows means she wants to chew her nails. “Roberts, Lewis, come take Cap to Chapel.”

George opens his mouth to protest but seems to think better about it when he’s forced to stand up and Jim sees him just barely waver on his feet. The agent on his left catches him by the elbow and helps him get steady again before immediately guiding him out of the room and toward the hospital wing. 

Jim watches their backs and lets out an audible breath when the door closes behind them. He slumps back against the wall again and glares in Gaila’s general direction. “Gaila, there is something going on here. Something bad.”

“You’re telling me. We just found out that Romulus is back in a big way.” She says with a definite edge of bitterness to her voice. “Never went away, turns out.”

Jim does not feel the shock that he figures he should at that statement. He files that away for a later date and time when he’s not absolutely drained from fighting a woman who was definitely supposed to be dead. “Well, I guess that makes sense.”

Gaila’s eyebrows arch gracefully upwards (everything she does is graceful, frankly.) “Does it?”

“Yeah.” Jim responds, “The intruder we had? The one that tried to kill George? None other than Winona.”

Gaila mouths the name _Winona_ and purses her lips together. “Why does that name sound fam- oh shit. Shit!” She exclaims suddenly. “Are you joking? Please tell me that you’re joking.”

Jim shakes his head with a bitter grin plastered on his face. “Believe me, I wish I was joking. It would make all of this a hell of a lot easier to deal with. But as it is, not only has my father been thawed, but my mother is back from the dead.” He pauses for a beat before adding. “So that’s a lot of fun.”

Gaila frowns deeply and Jim can see her filing the information away to tell McCoy and Sulu later. “Oh, Jimmy.” Despite her obvious and very pressing responsibilities, she takes a moment to tuck his head against her chest. Her fingers run through his hair and he lets himself relax for just a minute. “I’m sorry we have to ask you to do this.”

“But you need me to be in top fighting form to help bring this down.” Jim finishes for her. “Yeah, I get it.” He pulls away and fixes his hair. It’s only a few seconds before he’s finally on his feet again and offering a hand to Gaila, who takes it with an air of sadness. “Don’t worry about it, G.”

-

“Did she know?” Sulu asks for the third time. He seems to be talking to no one in particular. “She must have known, right?”

As was the case with the first two times he asked the question, no one responds. McCoy and Gaila lock eyes and quickly look away, both uncomfortable with the implications at hand. McCoy chews on the nails of his left hand whilst wearing a rut in the floor with his pacing. 

Sulu sighs loudly and throws his hands up in the air only to let them fall and slap loudly against his thighs. “Alright, I see. Neither of you want to do it.”

McCoy takes a break from eating his hand to protest. “Listen here, Hikaru-“

“No, you listen!” Sulu interjects. “She had to have known something about this shit. Romulus? Winona Kirk? There is no way that she didn’t pick up something about it all.”

Gaila frowns and wants to protest but can find no arguments that make sense other than, “We don’t know that.”

“No offense, Gaila, but yes we do. Carol had to have known something about it. Even the smallest suspicion could have helped us prepare for this. But what did she give us? _Nothing.”_

“She was scared.” McCoy makes a feeble attempt at defending her.

“She lied to us.” Sulu counters. “A lie by omission is still a lie.”

Gaila pushes herself out of her chair and straightens her jacket. She stands up straight and holds her chin up. “McCoy, I know this is hard-We both are way too connected to this whole Carol thing to really be objective about it-but we have to do our jobs. These are some serious secrets to be keeping and we need to find out if she’s hiding anything else.” 

McCoy purses his lips and looks for a moment like he’s about to protest but thinks better of it. He nods and stops pacing. “Fine. _Fine._ We’ll talk to her. I’m being stupid.”

Sulu smiles and claps McCoy on the shoulder. “You are. But that doesn’t mean you’re not our leader.”

-

“Okay.” Christine pulls off the bandage she had placed on George’s face an hour previous. “Everything looks all healed up now.”

George touches the area once more and winces at the slight pain radiating from the spot. “Do you know it was?”

Christine glances down at her tablet for a moment before turning it around for George to see. He looks over the scibbles of medical shorthand and notes that he doesn’t understand and glances up at her with a slightly panicked expression. “This really does not help.”

“Decoagulant and weak poison. Not enough to kill you but enough to bring you down for a while or at least disorient you. Once we got the scratch cleaned it got back to normal fairly quickly.” Christine purses her lips and puts a hand on her hip. She points a finger strongly at him. “Don’t get stabbed. The decoagulant alone is enough to cause you some serious problems that I might not be there to solve.”

He nods sullenly, feeling suitably chastised. “I will be sure to avoid that in the future.”

“I’ll talk to them about getting you some sort of mask or something.” She says almost absentmindedly, scribbling down a note on her tablet. “Should save your pretty face.”

George snorts and nods. Knowing the people in charge of the uniforms, he’ll probably end up with the same mask he had back in the fourties. The one with wings that Winona used to laugh at so much. His smile weakens minutely.

“Hey, is he okay? Is there going to be any permanent damage?” Jim strides into the room with hair that looks like he’s spent the last hour running his hands through it repeatedly. He stops short when he sees George sitting there unscathed. “Oh, hey. You’re definitely alive and kicking.”

“Indeed.” George answers with a nod. “What about you? Are you…alive and kicking?”

Jim sighs and throws himself down into one of the chairs by the bed. “Barely. I don’t know what it is, I’m just completely drained after that.” He grins and slaps George’s knee. “Not all of us have that serum to keep us going.”

Christine scoffs. “You sort of do, Jim. You inherited at least a little bit of it or you’d be short and scrawny just like he was.” She gestures at George, who looks more than a little bit offended.

“Hey! I wasn’t _scrawny!”_ He protests. “I could hold my own in a fight just fine.”

This is met with twin laughs from both Jim and Christine, the former of whom hides his laugh behind his hand and looks almost apologetic. Christine throws her head back unabashedly.

George has a more than brief moment of missing the ice cube he was frozen in. “Come on! I wasn’t that small!”

Jim shakes his head and places hand in the air with a smile. “Don’t worry. We know that you couldn’t help it. And you’re so much better now.”

“You say that like you knew me.” George scoffs. “You weren’t even an idea back then.”

“I wasn’t an idea until the eighties, technically.” Jim agrees. “And I wasn’t even your idea.”

“Well, I can’t argue with that.”

“Test tube baby five!” Jim shouts before high fiving himself.

Christine shakes her head and scoffs again. George could swear that woman is constantly either scoffing or laughing at him. He cannot say that he’s a fan of it. “Jim Kirk, you dummy. Only you could be like this in the face of a crisis.”

Jim looks affronted at the accusation that George is pretty sure is true, if what he’s gathered so far is accurate. “I am not lighthearted! I’ve been researching and eavesdropping on the meetings of the higher-ups! I’m totally prepared for this.” He rolls his shoulders and cracks his neck, making George wince. “Even if I have to personally take out Romulus myself.”

“Wait.” George says, the sound of that name punching him in the gut, “Did you just say Romulus?”

Jim freezes as though he’s just realizing that maybe he said something wrong. “Shit. I think I was supposed to let McCoy brief you on that one.” He pauses again as though unsure of whether he should continue or not. “Well, I guess it couldn’t hurt to tell you now. Area 31 is actually Romulus under a different guise.”

George doesn’t say anything. He sits and lets the statement sink in. For a moment he wonders if perhaps he heard wrong. The look on Jim’s face lets him know that he definitely did not. “They got Winona.”

Jim nods grimly. The mood shift in the room is sudden and not at all desired.

“This is what Chris meant when he said we should hope that she’s dead.”

There’s a very pregnant pause before Jim speaks. When he finally does, he sounds unsure. “I never knew her, I know, but I always wanted to and…I’m sorry.”

“You did?”

Jim glances up from where he had been studying his cuticles. George is looking at him intently and Christine seems to have snuck out at some point. He shrugs. “I guess. I mean, neither of you were ever my parents, but I was always curious about what my life would’ve been like.”

“You’re going to get to know her.” George says, suddenly sure of it. “We’re going to get her back.”

“She’ll probably never be the same.”

“No, but we can help her.”

-

“Look, let’s just go talk to her.” McCoy says. “We can find out if there’s anything else that we need to know before we have to face it head on.”

“Leonard, I’m pretty sure we’re already facing it head on.” Gaila counters. “But you’re right. We should go talk to her.”

Hikaru nods silently and shrugs his suit jacket on. He straightens his tie and starts toward the door, sparing only one quick look back at McCoy and Gaila. “Well? Aren’t you coming?”

They both nod in unison. “Yeah, right behind you.” McCoy says. He shoots Gaila a look and walks over to her. Sulu seems to get the message and steps out of the room to wait in the hall. “Hey, are you okay? Can you do this?”

Gaila hesitates for a split second before responding. “Yeah, I can. I love her but the safety of everyone comes before all that, I know.”

“Doesn’t mean you have to be there for the questioning.”

“I have a job to do and I’m damn well going to do it, McCoy.” Gaila slaps a hand on his shoulder with a slightly sad smile. “You would do the same if it were Jim and not Carol.”

McCoy can agree with that. “But Jim would never be in this position.”

“And aren’t you lucky?” Gaila’s sad smile tightens slightly as though she’s forcing it to stay there. “Come on, let’s just go.”

They exit the room and catch up with Sulu, who nods at both of them before starting down the hall with them. 

The walk and elevator ride is made in silence. Gaila tries to still the staccato beat of her own heart as they approach Carol’s room. She knows that she told McCoy she could do this no problem but it is affecting her.

They pause outside of the room and McCoy smiles at her in a way that tells her he’s feeling the same tension she is. He’s probably going to get a fair amount of flack from Jim for this. 

McCoy punches in the code to open the door and waits the second and a half for the door to open. “Carol? We need to talk to you.”

No response.

Sulu and McCoy walk into the room. They don’t unholster their guns as they made sure Carol was unarmed when they locked her in. “Marcus?”

Still no response. “Sulu, you check the bathroom for her. Gaila, keep your guard up.”

Sulu nods and runs into the small adjoining bathroom. He reappears a few moments later and shakes his head. “She’s not in there.”

“She’s not in here either.” Gaila responds. “She’s gone.”

Before anyone has a chance to say anything else, an alarm blares and a loud voice comes on over the PA system.

_”INTRUDER ALERT. INTRUDERS DETECTED ON LEVELS 1, 2, 3, 6, 9, 11…”_


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's been so long since I updated, guys. Life.

“What the hell is that?” McCoy yells, one hand covering his ear.

Sulu rolls his eyes and pulls his phone out of his pocket. “You know damn well what that was, Len.” He taps away at the screen and groans. “Looks like they’re coming in from every possible entrance. It’s a lot of people, Len.”

Leonard pinches the bridge of his nose and puts a hand on his hip. “Alright, get Chekov and Uhura on the top five floors with Team Six, Spock on the first three floors, Scotty outside, obviously, and Jim and Cap on floors four through seven. Dispatch whatever teams you need for support on any and all floors.” He frowns. “I really hope those idiots are ready for this.”

Gaila nods fervently and assures Leonard, “They are, McCoy. They’ve been training for stuff like this forever. If I know these people-and I do-they’re already out there.”

Leonard spares half a smile in her direction. “Thanks, Gaila. Get your team with Cap and Jim with a special focus on making sure any and all medical people can get into the second sub-basement.”

Gaila nods to acknowledge the order before pulling a walky-talky out of her belt and barking orders into it as she races out of the room. McCoy looks around to find that Sulu has also left. “Shit.” He murmurs under his breath. He runs a hand through his hair and says a silent prayer that everyone will make it through this. 

His phone buzzes in his pocket and he whips it out at lightning speed. It’s Joanna. “Jo? Are you okay? You need to get to the sub-basement.”

_”Dad, I can’t just abandon everyone when this is going down. I need to help.”_

“Jo, this is not up for discussion. Get down there. Now. Use elevator 14.”

_”I can’t do that to them, Dad. I’ve been training for this too.”_

“You are not a hero! You’re just a kid, Joanna!” He shouts desperately into the phone. He knows the words probably hurt her and he hates it but he needs her to be safe right now. “Get to the sub-basement. Now.”

 _”Jo? Did you hear the warning? What are you still doing up here?”_ Jim’s voice comes through the speaker distantly.

 _”I have to go, Dad. Don’t worry, I’ll be fine.”_ Leonard doesn’t get the chance to say a word-not even goodbye, I love you-before she hangs up on him.

He clenches the phone in his left hand and pulls his gun out of his holster with his right. “Dammit, Jim. Keep her safe.”

He hears the first shots fire.

-

Carol wakes up sitting on a very cold but not totally unfamiliar basement floor. A dim light shines at the other end of the room but it’s enough for her to get her bearings. She knows this place-has killed people in this place.

She attempts to move her arms but finds that her hands are cuffed together and attached to the pole behind her. She sighs and feels something almost like annoyance well up inside of her. They should know better than to try that with her. They trained her on how to get out of handcuffs.

Still, staying in them for now could be beneficial, if only to give them the illusion of the upper hand. Khan won’t be fooled for long but it will be long enough for her to get away and tell S.H.I.E.L.D. what they need to know.

If it were anything like the movies or books, Carol would say that she is not sure how long she sits there waiting for Khan or someone to come in and kill her. But the truth is, she is acutely aware of every passing minute that she sits waiting for him. 

She can’t say whether she’s flattered or upset at how long it takes. Khan is probably watching her. She knows that he waits longer to talk to the more important ones because the longer he takes, the more anxious they get. Carol refuses to play into his hands. 

She closes her eyes and leans back against the pole. A door opens on the other side of the room. She smiles.

“Carol, it has been far too long.” Khan’s voice cuts through the darkness in a malicious drawl. Carol can practically see the smile stretched across his face. It’s familiar, in some sort of way.

“Always a pleasure, Jonathan.” Carol replies coolly. “How are you?”

“I have been well, Carol, thanks to you.”

“Thanks to me?”

“You’ve been such a good girl.” Khan says almost mockingly. “You’ve made my job so much easier.”

Carol remains silent. She knows that she made mistakes while she was at S.H.I.E.L.D. but she is not entirely sure what he means. Better to wait him out.

Khan steps into the light. He’s wearing the smirk that Carol imagined and it causes ice to run thick through her veins. “Come now, Carol. You made them afraid of me. You told them all of my little secrets, all of the people I’ve taken down, and you made them fear me.” His smile grows wider as he speaks until it becomes one of the more unnerving things Carol has seen. 

“I helped them prepare.” Carol defends herself vehemently. “I made sure that they could fight you when the time came.”

Khan actually laughs at that. It’s low and slow and it sends chills down Carol’s spine. “Let’s stop pretending, Carol. You were protecting yourself. You knew exactly what you were doing, which is why you kept our one little secret.”

“I didn’t know.” Carol says automatically. “I had no idea it was her.”

“I said let’s stop pretending.” Khan raises his voice for the first time and it is still lower than a shout. “I only wanted to thank you, Carol.”

“Then why am I in handcuffs, Jonathan?”

-

“Jim!” George calls out as the first shots whiz past his ears. He ducks down and rolls. He stands and holds his shield in front of himself. “Jim, behind you!”

Jim hears him, thankfully and whirls around to face the two women in black approaching him from behind. He looses two arrows and takes them both down easily. “Thanks!”

George almost laughs but is sidetracked by the men aiming punches at his face. “No problem!”

The sound of thunder booms above them and George looks up and almost wonders what the hell it could be (it is definitely a sunny day) before he remembers that they have a literal god of thunder on their team. Below them is a similar sound that she can only assume is Spock.

Between landing punches and trying to help Gaila’s team evacuate the medical team, George doesn’t have much time to watch Jim or be proud of him or any of the things he thinks he should be doing as his father. Here, he has to be Captain America, which is something he hasn’t had to be for a long time. 

It’s familiar but so new. The guns are bigger, the fighting is less head-on, and Winona isn’t standing beside him, throwing punches with an easy grace. 

It seems someone out there in the universe is listening to George because when he looks up, Winona is standing there with a gun aimed as his head. He stomach drops to his feet. George hears Jim shout an “Are you kidding me?” from down the hall.

“Winona.”

“That is not my name.” She yells and charges toward him. She aims a punch at his face and he blocks it with his shield. They clang together loudly and knock her back just enough for him to move away.

“Yes it is.” He knocks the gun out of her hand. She comes at him again, this time with that same knife as the first time. “Your name is Winona Davis and you are my wife!”

For a moment he’s sure she recognizes him, but then she’s at him again and angrier than before. George can hardly keep up with her movements. 

He knows he has the upper hand when he manages to knock her off of her feet. He stands over her and puts his shield down. “Go ahead, do it.” She snarls.

“I’m not going to kill you.” George states, “I love you. And believe it or not, you used to love me.”

She runs.

-

“Carol, my sweet sweet little girl.” Alexander Marcus kneels on the ground next to Carol with an almost genuine smile on his face. He leans forward and presses a kiss to her forehead. “I am so proud of you.”

She jerks away with a noise of disgust. “Get away from me.” 

Marcus’ grin stays in place. Khan chuckles softly from where he stands. “Oh, Carol. Look what they’ve done to you. Being so rude to your father.”

“I am ashamed to be your daughter.” Carol growls in Alexander’s face. 

Alexander smacks her across the face and she reels back in shock. “You’ve always been ungrateful, you little brat. After all I’ve done for you…”

“What have you ever done for me?” Carol snaps back. “You raised me to be a killer. You isolated me. You were no father to me.”

Khan clears his throat before Alexander can get any responses out. “Come, Alexander. I do believe you’ve served your purpose.”

Marcus stands up with a bewildered look on his face. “Served my purpose? What do you mean?”

Khan steps forward and places a soothing hand on his shoulder. “You’ve been very good at your job. But I’m afraid we have…outgrown you.”

There is a very pregnant pause in which Carol is sure both she and her father knows what’s about to happen. She wants to break out of her cuffs, to fight Khan, to help her father, but she’s frozen wear she sits. Alexander clears his throat and breaks the silence, “Khan, you don’t have to-“

“I wanted you to see your daughter one last time.” Khan says it almost like he’s doing Alexander a favor. 

Carol doesn’t register her scream as her own when Khan reaches out, grabs both sides of Alexander’s head, and snaps his neck.

-

 

“Are you kidding me?” Jim shouts at the guys charging him. “I thought Gaila’s people were supposed to be here!” He says partly to himself, mostly into the radio where Bones is issuing orders. “I can’t do this alone.”

He does do it alone, though. He looses arrows and blocks punches and doesn’t worry about what happens to the guys that he hits. He’s not sure how doing this could help him win but he trusts Bones and Sulu enough to know that whatever they need him to do is going to help. 

“ _On your left, idiot.”_ Gaila’s voice comes through the earpiece. _”We’ve been here the whole time.”_

Jim turns to find a familiar head of red hair and a sparkling grin paired with Gaila shooting some guy in the kneecap. “Hey, Gail. Do you know what’s going on?”

Gaila nods and flips some guy three times her size over her shoulder. “We’re supposed to be holding these guys off while Bones and Sulu look for Khan and try to protect all the files.”

“Awesome.”

He is ultimately distracted from his conversation with Gaila by an arrow that flies by his face and ends up in the chest of a man in black. “What the hell was that? Did they bring archers?”

“Not exactly!” Is the response that comes from a too-familiar voice. Jim freezes and turns toward the source. Joanna grins and waves at him cheerfully and his stomach drops down to his feet. “Thought I’d help out.”

“Jo, no! You need to get out of here!” Jim shouts and starts running toward her at full speed. “You’re going to get hurt!”

“I’ll be fine!” She shouts back.

Jim sees some guy aiming at Joanna. He knows he doesn’t have the time to stop him so he braces himself and does exactly what his impulses tell him to do.

He jumps in front of the bullet. Searing pain rips through his shoulder, abdomen, and thigh before the world goes black with a shout of “Jim!”

-

Carol sobs helplessly. She twists her wrists and pulls, releasing herself from the cuffs in the matter of half a second. She launches herself at Khan, trying to get in a kick, a punch, anything that could hurt him. “You bastard! He didn’t do anything to you!”

“He wasn’t useful anymore.” He responds coolly and shoves her away, sending her tumbling to the ground.

“So what? We just kill people when they aren’t useful? You’re a monster!” She spits. The loss of her father hurts her more than she expected and she hates it.

Maybe it’s because she did care about him. Maybe it is because even in those last moments where he was grinning mockingly at her, she saw…something. Something in his eyes that gave her the same spark of childish hope she’s always had concerning the man.

The cause does not matter, though, all that matters is that this man-this monster-hurts as much as she does. She wants him dead and cold and gone forever. She pushes herself to her feet again with more rage than she’s ever felt.

A door bangs open before she can do anything to him. Winona strides in and Carol’s anger is diluted by guilt.

“Ah, here you are.” Khan greets the woman as though Carol isn’t standing right there. “I want you to finish her, Winona.” He draws out the name with a sneer and turns to Carol. “Seems fitting that you should be killed by the one secret of ours that you kept.”

“I didn’t know!” She screams. “I didn’t!” Nobody believes her.

Carol wants to turn away and not see her own death barreling toward her at breakneck speed but she cannot seem to force her eyes shut. She watches as Winona takes her gun out of her holster, aims with perfect stance, takes a breath that seems to slow the world, and-

Turns and shoots Khan in the head.

His long and lean body falls to the floor with a sort of finality that steals the breath from Carol’s lungs. Years of being terrified and waiting for him to take her out…gone in a moment.

Khan is dead.

When Carol finally manages to wrench her eyes away from his still body lying next to her father’s, she looks up at Winona. She’s shaking and her eyes are wide. Winona looks down at the gun and back up at Carol, then Khan, as if she cannot believe what she has done. “Carol, I-“

Carol shakes her head and puts up a hand to stop the other woman. “Go. Go to S.H.I.E.L.D. and find Christopher Pike. He’ll help you.”

Winona nods and leaves the room. Carol sighs and rubs a hand over her face. She can’t afford to cry right now. Now is the time to stop all of this. She pulls the miraculously intact earpiece out of Khan’s ear and puts it in her own.

“Khan is dead. I repeat, Khan is dead. All forces stand down immediately.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feedback ALWAYS appreciated


	15. Act Two

Jim wakes up slowly, first wiggling his toes (both sets are working, which is a good sign), then his fingers (once again, he has both sets), and finally prying his lead eyelids open to face the harsh light of the medical wing. He blinks a few times and finally finds Chris sitting by his bedside in a relaxed pose, smiling softly like he’s been expecting this for a while and why is Jim _always_ late?

He tries to say something to that effect but is prohibited from doing so by the dryness of his throat. Instead, he ends up rasping a bit until Chris seems to get the point and grabs a cup of ice chips. 

Jim opens his mouth expectantly and Chris rolls his eyes. “I am far too important to be doing this for you, infant.”

“Oh, great! You’re awake!” Christine chirps from across the room. She strides over with a grin on her face. “Took long enough, didn’t you?”

“He was out for three days, Chapel.” Pike counters. “Much faster recovery than most.”

“Not faster than his father.” 

Jim would roll his eyes and make a face if his head was not currently pounding out the drum line of some heavy metal song. He opts to instead open his mouth for another ice chip, which Pike supplies reluctantly.

“Well, Jim, as long as I’ve got you here and quiet for once, I might as well fill you in on what all is going on.” Christine continues on in an oddly cheerful manner. “You were shot three times by a Romulus agent. The bullet that went through your thigh miraculously did not hit bone but the one in your shoulder definitely did. Luckily, thanks to the bit of serum you’ve got in you, it’s healing faster than normal and you should be able to shoot within a month and a half. You also got shot in the stomach but that wasn’t much that you have not dealt with before. It’s going to be at least a week more of being in here until I let you out. I trust you can handle that?” She cocks an eyebrow that tells him not to question her.

“What happened to Khan? And all his people?”

Chris purses his lips with a thoughtful look on his face. “Well, the simple answer to that is he died.”

“And they just stood down?” Jim says incredulously. “I wasn’t born yesterday, I know that’s not how it works.”

Christine barks a short laugh. Pike glares at her for a second before explaining. “When Carol told them all that he and Marcus were dead, some of them-I’m assuming they were new-did stand down. That caused enough confusion for us to overpower them and take them down.” 

“So…Carol killed him?” Jim guesses. Then something occurs to him that shocks him to the core. “Did she kill her father?”

Pike shakes his head. “She had some help. Apparently one of their more specialized and trusted agents turned on Khan. As for her father, that was all Khan.”

“Who was it?”

Pike fixes Jim with a serious look. “A very specialized agent.”

“You don’t mean…” Jim trails off with a frown. “So what’s happening now?”

“We’ve got a fair few of his agents in custody right now and we’ve managed to finally be able to get into his database to find the rest of them. Right now, we’re sending some of our bigger and better teams out to deal with them. That’s where Uhura, Scotty, Sulu, and Chekov are right now.”

He nods slowly and clears his throat. “Where’s Bones?” His voice still sounds strange but he can at least talk now after a few ice chips. “Is he okay.”

The twin silence from Pike and Christine does nothing to calm his nerves. The shared uncomfortable look between the two of them has about the same effect. “What is it?” He attempts to sit up but is met with very real pain. “What happened to him?”

Chris is the first to answer. “Well, it’s nothing that happened to him…”

“It’s Joanna.” Christine finishes, looking like she just ate some bad egg salad.

“What happened to Jo? Is she alright? Can I see her?” He looks around the wing as best as he can but Jim finds no other occupants in any of the other beds. “Where is she?”

Christine looks down at the floor and then back up at Jim, the same unpleasant expression on her face. “After you tried to save her-after you got shot-the gunman wasn’t deterred. He shot Joanna five times.” She speaks grimly and Jim’s heart stops. “She’s in our ICU right now being taken care of by M’Benga and some surgeons on loan from Cornell.” She steps closer to Jim and places a delicate hand on his uninjured shoulder. “I’m so sorry Jim, I-Nobody could have prevented this. Not even you.”

“I should have gotten her away from there. I should have made sure she was out of the building completely. Or at least with you downstairs.” He looks slightly lost and hopeless. “Is she going to be okay? Is Bones okay?”

Christine bites her lip. “Right now, we’re not totally sure, but it looks like she might make it through this. It’s going to be a long road for her, though. And as for Leonard…he has not left her side for one moment.”

“In direct disobedience of my orders to go to bed.” Pike grumbles and crosses his arms. “Damn insubordinates.”

Christine scoffs and flaps a hand in the director’s direction. “Don’t be that harsh on him. His only daughter is in a coma, Pike.” She chides him. “Give him a break. Let him be with her.”

Pike rises from his chair and twists, stretching out his back. He grabs a cane that was resting against the bed and leans on it heavily. “I understand, Chapel. I also understand that he needs to rest or he’s going to be no good to her.”

Jim is not quite listening to them anymore as thoughts of Joanna getting shot after he tried to save her fill his mind. “How did we get out of there? Everything was madness, last I remember?”

“It was Cupcake.” Christine clarifies. “Apparently he saw the two of you go down and he grabbed you and got you out of there. Brought you right down to us and definitely saved your lives.”

-

Chris was not expecting to see anyone sitting in his office, much less Winona Kirk. He had not actually seen her, only heard the rumors. Seeing her in person, with the gleaming silver arm with the Romulus insignia on it and black smudged under her eyes, he stops short. 

He decides he best course of action in this case is to just pretend like he _was_ expecting this. “What can I do for you?” He sits in his chair and leans back.

“Agent Marcus told me to come here.” Winona says uneasily, like she does not trust Pike at all. “She said you could…help.”

Like she hasn’t trusted anyone in a long time.

Pike picks up his desk phone and punches a few numbers in. “I’m not sure how much I can help you but I know someone who can.” He holds a hand up and speaks this time into the phone. “I need you to come to my office. Pronto.” He hangs up and smiles halfway at Winona. 

“Who is it?” Winona questions. “Why can’t you help me?”

Pike leans forward on his elbows and comes to the ultimate conclusion that honesty is surely the best course of action. “Look, you were working for 31 and Romulus for a long time. They wiped your memories and I am just not the person to help you get them back.”

“Well then who is?”

There’s a knock on the door. George enters and Pike smiles and holds a hand out to him. “He is.”

George looks more shocked than anything. His hand is still on the doorknob as though still entertaining the idea of escape. 

It’s Winona who really surprises him. The moment she sees George, she rises from her seat as though burned. “You.” She breathes out. “I know you.”

George attempts a smile. “I should hope so. You did try to kill me.”

Winona shakes her head quickly with a childlike standoffishness. “No, you’re the boy…” She pauses and looks down at her feet. “The boy from the alley. I saved you once.”

This time, George’s smile looks real. “More than once.” He reaches out and places a hand on her arm, the metal one, and guides her back toward the chairs. “Come on, I think this is a conversation best had sitting down.” 

Winona nods slowly and sits down. She’s still sitting on the edge of her seat like she’s ready to run away but George’s presence seems to keep her in place. She looks down at George’s hand but does not move away from it. “Alright.”

George smiles again and looks toward Pike for permission to tell her everything. Pike nods. 

“Your name is Winona Emily Davis. You were born in Riverside, Iowa and you have one brother.” 

“Frank.” Winona says like she’s just remembering this for the first time. “Was his name Frank?”

George shines at that and leans forward enthusiastically. “Yeah! That’s him! Do you remember anything else?”

Winona screws up her face and for a moment it’s like everyone in the room is holding their breath. “No.” She says finally. “I can’t remember…sometimes I remember things if they go too long without…without resetting me.”

“Resetting you?” George sits forward in his seat, his face a mixture between anger and confusion. “What did they do to you?”

“I don’t know.”

-

The week before Jim can get out of bed and go see Joanna is the longest of his entire life. He gets to watch TV and read books and talk to people but he never gets to see the one person that he wants to see the most. Bones never comes to visit him.

Gaila and Carol come in almost every day to update him on how the search for Romulus agents is going. They are always holding hands and Carol looks progressively less shaken with every visit. 

“Oh I just feel like this has all been my fault.” Carol says one day with a shaking voice and hands that shake even more. “I shouldn’t have-I should never have come here.”

Jim shakes his head resolutely at her and puts a hand on her arm. He’s finally managed to sit up at this point and can really look at her without feeling like he’s being looked down upon. “Don’t say that, Carol. You helped us so much. You pointed us in the right direction every time. You could never have known what he wanted.” 

Gaila nods in agreement and squeezes her girlfriend’s hand tightly in her own. “He’s right, C. You didn’t do anything wrong here.”

When he does finally get out of bed, Christine has to physically hold him back from sprinting to Jo’s private room. It takes twenty minutes and a crutch before she finally allows him to hobble all the way down the hall to her. 

Every step leaves him with the sensation of having a knife stabbed in his abdomen, but he does it, even if he is sweating bullets by the end of it. He stands in the doorway to take a breath and take in the sight of Joanna hooked up to more machines than she should ever be. It nearly rips his heart right out of his chest to see.

“Jim?” Bones snaps Jim out of his reverie. “I-I didn’t know you were getting up today.”

Jim smiles and wraps his uninjured arm around Bones. “It’s okay. You were here looking after her. I understand.”

Bones gives him a grateful smile and pulls away to sit back down in his chair. He grabs back onto her hand and stares at her as if Jim isn’t there. The blond takes a seat next to him and places a hand on his shoulder.

They sit together in silence for a long while. Jim rubs slow circles on Bones’ back but never takes his off of Jo except to look at her father. Leonard looks like he has not gotten a decent night’s sleep in over a month, despite the fact that it has only been about a week and a half. Jim cannot help but worry about him.

Leonard sighs finally and deflates like a balloon. Jim moves his hand away from where it was resting. “Are you okay? They told me she’ll pull through, Bones. She will be fine.” He enunciates every word so as to get his point across effectively.

“Everyone gets hurt around you, Jim.” Leonard mumbles finally. “Every time I trust you with someone I love, they end up like this…or worse.”

Jim feels like he has been electrocuted. He pulls back and stares at Bones with wide eyes. “Bones, I tried. I tried to save her, I just couldn’t.”

Leonard slaps a hand on his leg and growls. “You should have made sure she was never in that situation to begin with, Jim! You should have gotten her downstairs and made sure that she was okay!” 

“I couldn’t. I tried but I had to-“

“You always have to, Jim!” Bones stands up and runs his hands through his hair. He does not look at Jim. “But the fact of the matter is Joanna has been clinging to life for the past week and a half and I keep waiting for her to wake up and she just isn’t!”

“I’m sorry, Bones.” Jim surges forward and grabs his boyfriend’s hand. “I tried, I really did, and I am so sorry that this happened to her. I never wanted this. Not for a second could I ever want this to happen.”

“But it _did happen_ , Jim.” Bones jerks his hand away from Jim. “It happened and you cannot take that back.”

The words cut through Jim like knives. He knows that what Bones is saying is true. He knows that he cannot do anything to help it. He looks at Joanna’s resting body-so small, so hopeless-once more before turning toward the door. “Goodbye, Bones.”

“Jim? Jim where are you going?” Bones asks after him.

“Home.” Jim pauses in the doorway. “I think I just need to rest for a bit.”


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This universe just keeps getting bigger, it seems. 
> 
> For more background on what's going to be happening for the rest of the story, I suggest reading the companion piece I posted the other day titled "Mission Accomplished". It'll make stuff clearer as we go on!
> 
> Thank you all so much for reading!

The wide sprawling cornfields of Riverside, Iowa are a comfort for Jim. When everything else in his life seems to be spinning around, the corn is a constant, just as the whole of the Midwest always has been. It is somewhere to come home when he feels like he has none. 

The nagging feeling comes that perhaps he should have stayed and waited on Joanna and Bones. He supposes that if he were far less cowardly, he would have stayed. But as it is, he ran away in fear of what might have happened to his relationship should he have stayed. 

No, instead he ran away to Riverside, where he can be with his cousins on their farm and where Amanda and Sarek are only about a half hour’s drive away. He steps on the gas of the shoddy rented pickup truck and rolls down the long, once-paved-but-mostly-dirt driveway at a speed that is far too fast for the slowness of this country life.

He hops out of his truck once he’s finally reached the old white farmouse. He stumbles a bit on his bad leg but he leans against the truck to hide it. “Dee! Scott! Are you here or should I just go on over to Amanda and Sarek’s?” He calls out to his cousins.

Deanna “Dee” Halle, daughter of Frank Davis, Winona’s sixteen years younger brother, runs out of the house with a happy whoop and windswept gray hair. “Oh, Jimmy! It has been absolutely too long since you’ve come home!” She wraps him in a warm hug and continues giggling.

Her husband Scott lumbers out of the house after her, a heavy set man with salt and pepper hair and scruff on his face as if he has not shaved in a fair few days. “Heya, Jim. How’s super hero life treating you?”

Dee pulls away from Jim and puts a hand to her lips delicately. “Oh, Jimmy, we were watching the news and we saw what had happened at the tower and- Oh, Jimmy.” She wraps him up in a hug once more.

Jim smiles and returns the hug. Amanda and Sarek had made the decision to move out to Iowa when he was young so that he could be close to his cousins and he had always considered them something akin to an Aunt and Uncle. Their daughter Sarah was about his age and they had grown up like cousins. “I’m sorry I didn’t call sooner, Dee. I was a bit tied up over there but everything is fine now.”

She tightens her hold on his and Jim winces and pulls away slightly. Dee looks at him as if first noticing the sling on his left arm for the first time. “Oh, Jimmy. What on Earth am I to do with you?”

Jim smiles sheepishly and shrugs at her. “Maybe feed me?”

Scott steps forward this time and claps him on the right shoulder. “That, I’m sure Dee can pull off. Now, should we be expecting anyone else anytime soon? Perhaps that boy of yours…McCoy, is it?”

“Uh, yeah, McCoy.” Jim smiles and laughs uncomfortably. “He won’t be round here for a while, I think. His daughter is…unwell.”

“Well that is just such a shame.” Dee barrels on. “When I met him last year he was just so charming. When I got word from your friend Nyota that the two of you finally got together…well I was simply thrilled! Of course I always did suspect that you and that Carol girl might end up together but I suppose you and Leonard do make a fine pair.” 

Jim and Scott lock eyes as she chatters on and share a longsuffering look. “Why don’t you come on inside, Jim? I’m sure the two of us can scrape something together if she wants to keep talking.”

-

It takes two weeks for Joanna to wake up. Two weeks of sleepless nights, worry-filled days, and thinking too much about the past. Two weeks in which Leonard is unsure whether or not he will have a family when all is said and done.

Whenever her mother had been in the hospital, she would wake up with the slowness and grace of the movies. When Joanna awakens at last, it’s like a punch to the gut. Her eyes snap open, they do not flutter. Her heart pounds too quickly. He breath is too fast ad she seems to be all over the room at once, despite her decidedly bedridden state. She still looks injured and unwell but she suddenly looks so _alive_ that it hurts Leonard.

She brings one hand to her throat and looks pointedly at her father. Leonard smiles to himself and holds a cup of water to her lips. She drinks it with such ferocity that some of it sloshes down her chin.

“Shee, slow down, Baby Girl.” Leonard runs a hand through her blonde hair and speaks quietly to her. “Nobody is going to take it away from you.”

Joanna finishes the water and clears her throat. She winces at the pain that must shoot from her abdomen, where she took five shots. “Where is Jim? Is he okay?”

Leonard frowns and draws his hand away from her hair to rest in his lap. He clasps his hands together. “He’s fine, I guess. He…just went to Iowa for a while.” He triest to sound as casual as possible.

Joanna, of course, sees through it right away. “What did you do?”

“How do you know I did something?”

“Because,” Joanna draws out the word. “I know Jim and I know he loves me and loves you enough to not just leave us when things are like this.” She coughs a few times and winces again. “So you must have done something stupid to chase him off.”

Leonard sighs, defeated. He refills the cup again and holds it to her lips. While she drinks, he speaks, “I got mad at him, Jo. He didn’t make sure you were okay. You got hurt and all I could think of was…you know.”

Joanna’s responding glare is one for the ages. “Are you serious? Oh, Dad. He got me where I needed to be. It was _my_ choice to leave safety and try to be some hero. It was _my fault_ that I got hurt.” She reaches out her hand for Leonard, who takes it in his own and tries to focus on the fact that he still has her, rather than the fact that she is so much thinner than she was three weeks ago.

Whatever he is about to say is cut off by Christine’s entrance into the room. “I thought your readings looked a little different suddenly.” She says with a grin. “I’m glad you’re up, Joanna, how are you feeling?”

Joanna smiles tightly. “Honestly? I hurt like a bitch. But I’m alive, so that’s good.”

“All your fingers and toes working?”

Joanna wiggles them in response. “All good.”

“Well,” Christine starts, “We’re just going to take your temp right now and give you something for the pain. We’ll do the rest later.”

Once Christine has done all that she needs to and has finally left, Joanna levels Leonard with that slightly-pitying-but-mostly-upset look. She heaves a sigh. “Look, Dad. When we lost mom-“.  
“Jo, you don’t have to do this.”

Joanna shakes her head and squeezes Leonard’s fingers. “Dad, I know we don’t talk about this, but I need to right now.”

Leonard nods his acquiescence.

“When we lost Mom, I honestly did not think I could ever recover. I was so close to her, you know. She was the one who introduced me to Jim and archery-which you did not ever speak against, I might remind you. I felt like I was being buried with her at her funeral.”

She closes her eyes and takes a deep, shaky breath. “I did not ever consider the possibility of replacing her. And Jim…well, he does not replace her but he comes pretty damn close.” She smiles softly and looks directly into Leonard’s eyes. “He was the one who helped me after her death, even though I blamed him for it for far too long. He loves us both, Dad, and he only wants what is best for us. He’s cool and funny and he’s not Mom but he is our family now. Whatever you think he has done, he did not do it purposefully. He’s a good guy and if you lose him, you’re stupider than I thought.”

“Heaven knows you think I’m stupid enough already.” He chuckles, feeling a weight lifted off of his chest at her words. “When did you get to be so grown up and wise?”

“While you weren’t looking, probably.” Joanna teases. “Promise me you will call Jim soon, won’t you?” 

“I’ll call him.” Leonard promises. 

“Good.” Joanna shifts slightly and winces. “Cuz you know none of this was his fault. You know that if you had said one day that I was not allowed to shoot anymore, he would have stopped right there.”

“I know.”

“And he tried to save me. That’s why he ended up hurt.”

“I know.”

“Good.”

Leonard holds his daughter’s hand gently and runs his thumb in circles on it. “You must be tired, baby. You should sleep.”

“Not tired.” Joanna sighs out even as her eyelids flutter shut. “Been sleeping for three weeks.”

-

George is surprised to find that Winona trusts him. It takes a few days for it to happen, but it turns out that he is one of two people that she trusts. Most of the time it seems that she is unsure of why it is that she trusts him, but she still comes to him most days and is not on guard like she usually is.

Most mornings, it’s Pike calling him to say that she’d been asking for him. He always gets himself up quite quickly when it happens, as he always seems to be waiting for it. Then it’s hours of sitting with her, sometimes talking about her past, sometimes simply sitting together. Recently, she’s decided to start holding his hand in her own real one. 

The other person Winona has made the decision to trust is Carol. Carol’s position makes much more sense as she used to work with her. Carol has a much more passive role in it all, though, less talking and more remaining a familiar symbol, some sort of anchor for the very lost woman. 

“ _What did they do to her?” George asked Carol after one afternoon in which Winona had seemed more shaken than usual. “What did she mean by ‘wiping her?’”_

_Carol shook her head and frowned. “I’m not really sure, honestly. Whenever I saw it happening…it always seemed like they were electrocuting her or something. I don’t know what it was but it…well, it didn’t make her forget so much as want to forget.”_

“George,” Winona says one day in a quite timid fashion. “Do you remember when we went to the park together? When we fed the ducks and you fell in the pond?” She seems uncertain of whether it happened in reality or not.

George smiles and tightens his grip on her hand. “Yeah, Win, I remember. We didn’t go home for a few hours and I was soaked through the whole day.”

“I’m remembering things more, George.” Winona assures him. “Every day I wake up and it’s something new…something small. Some days I don’t remember my name but I remember you.”

George cannot help the grin that breaks across his face like sunshine through the gray clouds at that statement. Hope is something he has to cling to when his wife was brainwashed and stolen from him. “You’ll remember everything soon enough, Win. I know you will.”

Winona leans close to him on the couch where they’re sitting in his room. She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath with her face a mere few inches away from his. George’s heart skips a fair few beats. “Win,”

Winona cuts him off easily by pressing her lips to his. It’s dry and there is no movement between the two of them but it’s more than George has had for the longest time and it takes his breath away. She pulls away after a few moments and smiles at him like she’s embarrassed by her actions. “Win.”

This time it’s not a warning but more like a prayer. He takes both of her hands-real and metal-and smiles at her like coming home.

“I thought maybe it would help me remember something.” Winona admits. She looks down at their joined hands.

“Did it?” George has to inquire.

Winona considers this for a moment. She chews on her bottom lip. “It was…familiar. It was nice. I liked it.” She leans forward and kisses him again. “You tell me about me an awful lot. Tell me about us.”

“We met when we were six years old. I was the skinny sick boy next door and you were the troublesome daughter of a drugstore owner.” George starts. “You used to protect me from all the bullies at school and afterwards. I think I fell in love with you the first time you called me a ‘damn idiot.’”

“When did we first…get together?” Winona asks with a cocked head.

“We were seventeen years old and you came back from a summer camp for girls with more resolve than I had ever seen in a woman.” George chuckles at himself. “You marched right up my front steps and banged on my door quite loudly. I opened it and you sort of grabbed me and…” He laughs and waves his hand around. “You can probably guess.”

To his utter surprise, Winona actually laughs. She tips her head back and lets out a bark of laughter that causes those same old wrinkles by her eyes. “I imagine you were surprised.”

“I was floored but basically all of my teenage dreams came true right there.” He rubs the back of his neck and blushes. “I was actually working up to courage to ask you out on a date with me when it happened. You saved me a lot of trouble.”

“I wish I remembered all of this.” Winona purses her lips but her eyes are still smiling. “I will, I promise. I really do want to, George.”

-

“Jimmy, some of your friends are here!” Dee calls up the stairs. “I’m going to give them dinner!”

“Friends?” Jim yells back. “I don’t think I have any friends around here.”

“Well that’s no way to talk about us, laddie!” Scotty’s familiar brogue floats up in his direction. “We just wanted to come out here for a visit to make sure you aren’t dying in some cornfield!”

“We?” Jim almost trips over the pair of sweatpants he’s attempting to put on. “Who is we?”

“’We’ are coming up!” Is Gaila’s voice and responding stamping up the steps. She pokes her head into his room and grins at him. “Aw, wittle Jimmy can’t get his pants on with his bandage.”

“Shut up.” Jim grumbles and opts for throwing the pants at her instead of further struggling with them. “You try putting pants on when you got shot in the leg less than a month ago.”

Gaila snorts and shakes her head. “Been there done that.” She sticks her head out the door and looks down the hallway. “Oh my God, are you two seriously making out? Without me?”

Jim scrambles to look past her. “Who’s Scotty making out with?” He’s shocked to find that it is indeed Carol taking part in it…rather enthusiastically. “But I thought you and Carol were together?”

“We are.” Gaila chirps.

“But they’re…”

“Together too.” Gaila grins and shoves Jim away from him.

“So you’re all…”

“Together, yes.” Gaila finishes for him. “After the Khan incident, Scotty found the two of us and told us that he ‘fancied us’ and it just sort of happened.”

Jim purses his lips and nods his head. “Okay. Okay, cool. I thought Scotty was asexual?”

“Don’t be an ignorant slut, Jimothy.” Carol chides him. “Just because he doesn’t feel sexual attraction doesn’t mean he can’t have a relationship.”

“The lady’s right, James.” Scotty adds. He kisses Gaila on the cheek. 

“This is something I’m going to have to adjust to but I think I can roll with it.” Jim smiles genuinely at the three of them. “So, did you guys come here to tell me that or did you have another reason.”

“Honestly, Jimmy? We’re tired.” Gaila flops down on his bed. “We just needed a break from it all. Scotty got back from hunting down baddies in Europe and we decided to come out here for a bit.”

Jim runs a hand through her hair and smiles. “Glad my cousin’s house could be your place or respite.” He hesitates before adding. “Have any of you heard from Bones recently?”

Carol frowns at him and says, “You haven’t heard from him? Well, Jo’s up and he’s just been spending all his time with her. From what I heard from Chapel, little Jo has been chastising him about you a fair amount.”

Jim flushes bright pink and rubs his hand on his arm. “Can you hand me my pants?”

“He’ll call you, Jimmy. I know he will.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> feedback super appreciated always


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow okay so i haven't updated in more than a month  
> And I am reALLY sorry about that. But life started happening a lot and you know how that goes.
> 
> This chapter is sorta a filler/bridge thing. Sorry if it's not that exciting or great...

“You haven’t spoken to him yet.” Joanna stares down her nose at Leonard. He nearly withers under her glare. “I’ve been up for two and a half weeks and you have not called him yet.”

Leonard shifts in the remarkably uncomfortable seat and folds his arms tighter around himself. “How do you know that? For all you know, I called him two weeks ago and now everything’s great.”

Joanna scoffs and readjusts her blankets. She’s been healing quickly, and can now move more than before without a serious amount of pain. “You have yet to let go of your phone and you keep checking it every five seconds, as if you could possibly miss something with that death grip.”

Leonard reflexively checks his phone, to his great shame. He nearly throws it away from himself once he realizes what he’s done but instead he settles for slumping down. It’s days like this where he feels more like the child than the parent.

“Why haven’t you called him?” Joanna asks. Her eyebrow is still raised and Leonard wonders if this is what people mean when they say that he’s intimidating. 

No lies could possibly get past her. “I’m scared. I’m worried that he’ll just turn away from me.” He admits with a deep frown etched across his brow. “What if he hangs up?”

“We’ve already had this discussion, and I refuse to have it again.” Joanna states with a roll of the eyes. “Jim loves you. Call him.”

“She’s right.” Christine agrees with Joanna without missing a beat as she walks into the room, eyes on her tablet. She looks up with a grin at Joanna and a moment’s scowl at Leonard. “Hello, Jo. Leonard, call your boyfriend. He won’t stop calling me to check up on this one.” She waves her stylus at Joanna. 

Joanna’s eyes go wide and she squawks in shock. “Jim has been calling to check up on me? Why don’t I ever get to talk to him?”

Christine furrows her eyebrows and purses her lips in a look of mock confusion, “Oh, I don’t know, maybe because you sleep eighteen hours out of the day and you can’t handle stress in your state? Or maybe it has to do with the fact that your father essentially broke up with James and that boys is nothing if not a wuss?”

“Your bedside manner sucks.” Joanna pouts and folds her arms over her chest gingerly. “Next time Jim calls, let me talk to him.”

“Oh yes, however could I ignore the demands of princess Joanna McCoy.” Christine bows the top half of her body with a grin. “I’ll see if I can get him to actually talk to you.”

“Even if he says no, I’m talking to him.”

“And I’d like to add that I didn’t break up with him.” Leonard pipes up finally. “WE had an argument.”

Both of the women clear their throats and exchange an incredulous look. “You might want to tell Jim that. It was a pretty big thing to fight about, Leonard.”

To say that he feels a bit attacked would be the understatement of the century. “I will! Just give me some time.”

“If you wait any longer, you might not have the chance anymore.” Christine counters with a shrug. “But fine, wait and risk one of the best things that’s ever happened to you.”

“I’m not throwing it away. I’m just waiting for the right time.” Leonard retorts gruffly.

“The rght time was right after you said what you did and royally messed everything up.” Christine shoots him down without missing a beat. “The right time was as soon as you knew that Joanna was okay. The right time passed you a long time ago.”

“Call him.” Joanna finishes for Christine with the glare still plastered across her face. “He needs to hear from you.”

The idea of fighting them definitely crosses Leonard’s mind. He seriously considers refusing out of sheer fear of the act. He knows that won’t really fly, though, so he gets out of his seat and sighs at both of them. “Fine. I’m going.”

The smiles and thumbs up from Jo and Chapel almost bolster his spirits, but the feeling of dread remains. His phone in his pocket feels like a thousand pound weight while he walks down the hall to somewhere more private. He settles for an empty conference room and locks himself inside.

Taking his phone out of his pocket is easy. Pulling up Jim’s contact is easy. Pressing the button that would actually do the job is proving to be difficult. Leonard glares at the screen as if the fault of this situation is its alone.

Finally, he forces himself to just do it. He pushes the button and presses the phone to his face with a shaking hand.

It rings once, twice, three times.

“ _Hello, you’ve reached the personal phone of Jim Kirk. I can’t answer for some reason, sorry. If you need something from me, leave a message. If you’re a reporter, remind me to change my number AGAIN. If you’re from SHIELD, you probably already know that I never check my messages.”_

Leonard rolls his eyes and hangs up without leaving a message because he _knows_ Jim and that comes with the knowledge that Jim really does never check his messages.

He starts to worry right about then. Jim did not answer. He probably saw that it was Leonard and decided to ignore it because he thinks Leonard broke up with him. Or he _wants_ to be broken up.

Still, no matter the cause of his being ignored, Leonard needs to talk to Jim.

He’s starting to think desperate times call for desperate measures.

-

Just as Winona has good days, she also had bad days. She has days where she’ll let George hold her hands and tell her about their life. She has days where she wakes up with fingers itching for a trigger and a target.

That morning, she arises from her not-deep-enough sleep when George knocks on the door of the room that they’re keeping her in and smiles at her timidly. Her mind immediately goes into alert and she jumps out of bed, looking around herself for some sort of weapon.

She picks up the plastic cup from the table beside the bed in her left arm. She knows she can throw it hard enough with the superior strength of her metal arm to really hurt him.

George watches her do this with a sinking heart and an appropriate amount of alarm. He takes a half step backwards out of the door. He keeps his mouth shut.

“Who are you?” Her voice is hard and terrifying. She glares at him but her eyes look more scared than angry.

George doesn’t answer. The cup gets thrown at him almost too quickly for him to catch but he manages it. He takes a step forward, cup still clutched in his hand, with both hands up by his head. “Win.” He says quietly. “Winona.”

Suddenly, Winona’s shoulders droop and her face falls. It’s almost as if saying her name has some kind of power over her.

George steps closer, now sure that he’s safe doing so. “Winona,” he says again. He can see that her shoulders are shaking. “Winona, it’s okay.”

“I forgot.” She says almost too quietly for him to hear. “How could I forget?” George gets the impression that she’s talking mostly to herself.

“It’s okay, Win.” George is close enough now to reach out and touch her shoulder. “It’s okay.”

“Okay” is a safe word because it isn’t bad but it’s also not good. And that’s what Winona is right now, honestly. She’s not bad but she has bad moments and she also not _good._ George is convinced that she’ll be good someday-hopefully soon-but today is not that day.

He’s okay with that.

-

“The world is falling apart.” Christopher runs his hands through his hair and resists the urge to actually smash his head on his desk. “Every time we think we’ve neutralized a threat somewhere, another one crops up on the other side of the world.”

“The fight isn’t over.” Number One agrees, “And it probably will never be. But that doesn’t mean we stop trying, dear.” She sits on his desk and looks down at him with a smile that is far softer than anything most people would ever see cross her face.

Pike looks up at her and rests a hand on her leg. “I know. I just feel like we’re stretching half of our teams too thin while the other half is injured and my second in command is tied up with his daughter who almost died because of our program and-“

“And you’re still the best possible person for this job, which is not an easy one.” Number One cuts him off with a frown. “Things happen, you know that better than anyone. You just got out of the hospital, for Christ’s sake. Stop pushing yourself.”

-

“Oh, Jimmy.” Amanda Grayson’s arms are around Jim before he even gets the chance to process the fact that she’s here. “When Spock called us, we were just so worried. I didn’t know what to do with myself. Of course, I wanted to fly out there right then but we couldn’t quite swing it.”

Jim grins and smiles at her, head still spinning a bit. Every time he comes out to Iowa, it’s all “Jimmy” and “we were so worried about you” and everyone talking a whole lot more than they do in New York. It’s overwhelming and makes him feel like he’s twelve years old, but it’s home. “Hello, Amanda. Sorry I haven’t come out to visit you yet.”

“Oh, it’s fine. Dee called me as soon as you got here and I was just letting you settle in.” She pulls Jim into another hug that threatens to break his ribs.

Jim spies a rather stoic looking man standing a few feet off, so he raises his arm as much as he can with Amanda’s arms around him. “Hello, Sarek.”

Sarek inclines his head with what almost looks like a smile. “James. It is remarkably pleasing to see that you are well.”

“It’s nice to see you too.”

Amanda finally gives up on the tight embrace and eyes the bag by Jim’s feet. “What’s going on now? Are you leaving?”

Jim looks bashfully down at his suitcase and smiles up at the woman who was his mother for most of his life. “Uh, yeah, I’m just going back for a few days. I need to talk to Bones and to…my parents.” 

He braces himself for the shock that never comes from Amanda. She simply nods and purses her lips. “Yes, they told me about George and Winona. Just, please, remember that no matter what happens with them, I still think of you as my own son.”

“I know…Mom.” He tags on the title at the end with a grin. It’s rare for him to refer to her as such, but it brings a smile out of her nonetheless. “And, listen, you guys will never stop being important to me. I just think that maybe they need to be important too.”

Amanda hums and nods. She puts a hand on Jim’s cheek and rubs her thumb across his stubble. “Of course, sweetie. Be safe. Take care of your leg. And your shoulder. And…just take care of yourself.”

“You know I’m all healed up now.” Jim laughs and picks up his bag. “ But I’ll keep it in mind.”


	18. Chapter 18

Joanna looks so breakable and so frail laying asleep in the bed they’re keeping her in that it makes Jim sink into the chair by her bed without a second thought. Focusing on the steady rise and fall of her chest and the pink in her cheeks brings him back to himself and he reaches out to brush a strand of hair from her forehead.

“Joanna! Hey, Hawkeye, wake up!” Jim whisper shouts and shakes Joanna’s shoulder gently. It’s early and he knows he probably should not wake her, but he can’t help it.

He sees the corner of her mouth quirk up and he sighs in exasperation before saying, “Better Hawkeye, please wake up.”

Her eyes flutter open like some fairytale princess and she frowns up at Jim. “What are you doing here at six in the morning?”

“I just got in.” Jim explains with a guilty smile. “Wanted to see you.”

“More like wanted to see me without the risk of my Dad being here.” Joanna counters with a pointed look and a raised eyebrow. “Which is really lame, by the way.”

Jim opens his mouth to fight but snaps it shut and slumps back in the chair dejectedly. “Can you blame me? Last time we talked was…not good.”

Joanna is quiet for a long time after that and Jim regrets saying what he did. She’s just s sixteen year old girl and he should have known better than to do that. “Jo, I’m sorry.”

“Do you _want_ to be with him?” Jo asks quietly. “I know you did a few weeks ago but after what he did…I couldn’t really blame you if you said that you didn’t.”

 

Jim ponders that for a minute. He came out here to talk to Bones but he never got further than that in his planning. He never stopped to wonder what it is that he wants out of that conversation. “I don’t know. I need to talk to him.”

Joanna nods and bites her lip. She reaches out to squeeze his hand. “For what it’s worth, you’ll never stop being the best lame mentor a superhero wannabe could ever have.”

Jim laughs and shakes his head but doesn’t let go of her hand. “Please, if anyone’s the wannabe here, it’s me.” He tries to ignore the sting of tears in his eyes. “I honestly don’t know what I’m doing most of the time, believe it or not.”

“Trust me, I believe it.” Joanna says with a giggle. 

“Hey!” Jim squawks. He puts his free hand over his heart and gapes at her.

They’re so busy laughing at each other that they don’t notice the door opening until Leonard says, “Jim? I thought you were in Iowa.”

Jim goes stiff at the sound of his voice and doesn’t break eye contact with Joanna until she nods at him and squeezes his hand reassuringly. 

Turning to face Leonard McCoy should never be as hard as it is at that moment. His legs shake under him when he stands up and tries to set his jaw to make himself seem somehow stronger than he feels. “I just got in. Wanted to see Joanna.”

“Jim, I-“

“Leonard, we need to talk, we really do.” Jim breathes a ragged breath before continuing on. “But I don’t think you’re ready to yet. You need to think about what it is that you really feel about me, because I’m confused and I’m pretty sure you are too.”

Leonard takes a step forward and reaches a hand out toward Jim but lets it drop when the other man shakes his head. “Jim, I care about you.”

Jim shakes his head again and folds his arms across his chest. “I’m sorry, but I need more than that. What you said to me was awful. I’m just not ready yet.”

It takes a moment of staring at Leonard’s closed off expression before Jim can make his legs work again but once he does, he practically sprints out of the room. The door closes with what sounds like a bang but couldn’t have been really that loud behind him and he walks as far as the corner before leaning up against the wall and letting the tears prickling behind his eyes out into the open.

-

“I’m angry, Georgie.” Winona admits when they’re laying together on the bed, her head on his chest and their legs tangled together. “I’m so _angry.”_

George lifts his head from the pillow to look down at her. “Why are you angry, Win?”

She squeezes his hand ever more tightly and doesn’t look up at him, focussing instead on the way their fingers tangle together. “They almost took this away from me. It has taken me so long to remember this and it’s still…blurry. They took everything away from me and I want to make them pay.”

George sits up slowly, making sure Winona ends up sitting next to him and not on the floor. He hooks a finger under her chin and looks seriously into her eyes. “Winona, I know that you’re angry. I’m angry too. But…revenge isn’t what you want. It will only hurt _you_ in the end.”

“They almost took you away from me.” Winona says again. “Even when they did what they were doing to me…I still knew you, at least a little bit. I could still see bits of you. They tried to take that from me.”

Her voice is fierce and almost terrifying to George but he only wraps his arm around her to hold her tight against his body, hand curling around her metal arm. “But they didn’t. And they never will.”

Winona sighs and George feels the tension drain from her body slowly until she’s soft against him. Her breath comes out in soft puffs against his shirt. He would think that she fell asleep if it wasn’t for the fact that she plays with his fingers, slowly tracing over every knuckle and ridge with a hushed reverence.

“I know I probably shouldn’t be barging in here but I’m not really sure where to go and I figured you might be able to help somehow so I’m here and I’m sorry.” Jim doesn’t stop talking as he walks through the door until he’s collapsed in a chair by the small table in George’s small apartment.

George clears his throat and his eyebrows knit together in the middle of his forehead. “Jim? Everyone was saying you were in Iowa.”

“Everyone keeps saying that like they forget that planes exist.” Jim says moodily and crosses his arms. He notices Winona staring at him, though, and uncrosses them with a jolt. “Uh, hi…I’m Jim?” He shoots a slightly panicked look at George and shrugs. “I’m not really sure how to do this.”

“Well, so far it’s going better than the first time you met. Or the first time _we_ met, for that matter.” George adds with a laugh. Jim looks affronted for a moment before accepting the fact that maybe, just _maybe_ he was a dick the first time he met George.

“Okay, Dad, very cool.” He runs a hand through his too-long blond hair that looks so much like Winona’s. 

“You really do look like us.” Is Winona’s response to Jim before shaking her head and giving him half of a smile. “They’ve been telling me about you and they really weren’t lying. You look just like us.”

“I should hope so, considering how I’m technically your son.”

Winona smiles wistfully at him and then up at George. “We were never supposed to have a son. Or any children.”

“Well, we do.” George laughs sort of giddily. “And from the look of him, he looks like he needs help with something?”

Jim considers abandoning this boneheaded idea of his and walking out of the room but he’s come this far and George really does look like he wants to help, so he takes a deep breath and plows on, “It’s about my…boyfriend. Which, I know, is a super weird thing to discuss with two people who grew up in the forties and who know nothing about me, but I didn’t really know where else to go.”

“What did he do?” Winona jumps in before George can say anything, shocking everyone but her. She senses George’s shock, apparently, because she pats his chest and says, “I may not remember everything, but I do remember the stupid stuff you used to do.”

Jim watches the exchange with a tight feeling in his chest like he’s lost something and finally found it. “Yeah, Dad. I think Mom’s got this one.”

-

Spock was supposed to meet Jim for lunch twenty minutes ago. He just got back from some country that they won’t tell Jim the name of for security purposes and promised to meet him in the labs to go out and get something to eat.

Knowing Jim’s luck, Uhura probably grabbed his faux-brother before he even had a chance to make it. He’s just about to give up and leave when someone walks in the door. Jim turns toward the intruder hopefully only to be disappointed in the form of Leonard McCoy.

“Please, don’t leave.” The other man holds his hands up in submission. “I thought about everything like you said I should and I’m here to figure out where we’re going from here.”

Jim sighs and sits back down on the lab stool he was previously occupying. He shrugs and looks at the floor like it’s the most interesting thing in the world. “Bones, I don’t know if this is right. I mean, we don’t even talk to each other until things are pretty much boiling over.”

Leonard sighs and nabs a stool to sit next to Jim, neither of them looking at the other. “I care about you. Everything I’ve done to make you think otherwise…I’m sorry. You deserve so much more.” He reaches into his pocket and puts something on the lab table. “Please, give me a chance to be more for you.”

Jim looks up finally at him with questions in his eyes that Leonard can only really answer by nodding at the object on the table. 

What Jim finds there isn’t at all what he was expecting. “Is this it?” He asks reverently and picks up the slim piece of plastic like it might shatter into a million pieces. 

Leonard smiles sadly and nods. “That’s it. The flash drive that we sent you and Jocelyn in there for all those years ago.”

“And you still have it?” Jim questions with furrowed eyebrows. “You’ve just been carrying it around?”

“I’ve had it for too long, Jim. It’s time to move on.” Leonard closes Jim’s hand around it and holds it there firmly. “You should have it. I should have given it to you a long time ago.”

Jim frowns down at their hands and then up at Leo. “Bones…you really don’t have to do this.”

“Yes. I do.” Leonard assures him with a sad smile. “This is the only way to move on, Jim. And I want nothing more than to be yours completely.”

Jim clenches his hand impossibly tighter around the flash drive and gives Leo a real, genuine smile. “Thank you. I have to say, I wasn’t expecting anything like this when you walked in. I thought it was the end.”

“I was worried that it might be, too, but then I realized that if I lost you…I don’t know what I would do.” Leo admits. Jim’s heart thuds in his chest when hazel eyes meet blue. “I really do love you, even if I fuck everything up now and then.”

Jim reaches out with his free hand to cradle Leonard’s jaw. He leans in and presses his lips softly to the other man’s. “And I love you, even if you’re an idiot sometimes.”

Leonard laughs like relief and shakes his head. He covers Jim’s hand with his own. “More than I deserve, probably.”

Jim nods enthusiastically. “Oh, definitely. That’s why I’m so awesome.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just one more chapter after this, unless I'm hit with some random bolt of inspiration that tells me otherwise...


	19. Chapter 19

“Jim, get up!” Joanna shoves at Jim’s shoulder more aggressively than probably necessary and shouts just on the off chance that he actually has his aides on. When he does not respond, she shakes him again just for good measure. “Come on, Pops, Dad got up like two hours ago why are you not up yet?”

Jim cracks an eye open, catches sight of Joanna, and sighs dejectedly. He rolls over onto his back so that he can sign. [[Why are you waking me up?]]

[[It’s your birthday.]] Joanna signs back with a frown. [[And your promotion becomes official today.]]

Joanna watches as Jim rolls over onto his stomach again and groans into the pillow. He’s a bit louder than probably necessary but the guy can’t hear himself, so she gives him a pass. 

The pass only lasts about five seconds before she grabs his arm and heaves him into a sitting position. He glares up at her but doesn’t fight it, which Joanna counts as a total success. [[I hate you.]]

Jo gives one final tug to get him on his feet. [[No, you don’t. Come on, Dad’s been working on your birthday breakfast for an hour.]]

[[Pancakes?]]

Joanna rolls her eyes at the hopeful look on his face. [[Yes. He made pancakes.]]

Jim grabs the remote to his aides from the bedside table and turns them on. “Sweet. Now get out, I need to get dressed.”

Joanna leaves him be with a salute right before she closes the door. She runs downstairs to the kitchen of the fairly large farmhouse to find her dad still at the stove and still wearing that same dorky apron. “He’s up, _finally.”_

“Was he grumpy? It is his birthday.” He looks almost genuinely worried when he asks with a slight frown.

“Nah, he’s cool.” Jo assures him and swipes a piece of bacon from the heaping plate. “Just the usual crotchety old man signing.”

Leonard gets a sort of goofy smile on his face and nods. Jo sees him subconsciously spin the ring on his finger. She rolls her eyes and steals more bacon. “Here, I’ll finish those pancakes, you go wish your husband a happy birthday.”

This earns Joanna a wide grin and a kiss on the top of the head. “Thanks, Jo, you’re the best.”

She waves him off with a tongue stuck out. “Yeah, yeah, just go.”

Leonard takes the stairs two at a time and wrenches the door open to find Jim pulling his favorite purple v-neck shirt over his head. “Hey, old man.”

“I’m twenty-nine, hardly old.” Jim retorts once he’s finally got the shirt on. “And especially not compared to thirty-five.”

“You wound me.” Leonard says with fake hurt in his voice even as he wraps his arms around Jim’s waist and presses and open mouthed kiss to his neck. “Happy birthday.”

Jim groans and tilts his head back so that it rests on Leonard’s shoulder. “Stop that right now before that breakfast you worked so hard on gets cold.”

“Microwaves are a beautiful thing.”

“Jo will kill us. And my parents are right down the hall. And Spock’s parents are in the room next to that.” He turns around in Leonard’s arms and darts in to kiss him swiftly and too lightly. “Really, the whole family is in this house and if we make any of them wait to eat, they might all kill us.”

Leonard pulls a face and nods. “That one time your cousins walked in on us was…less than fun.”

“I think Dee still has the pictures for blackmail.”

Leonard gives Jim’s ass one last pinch before taking his arms away from around his waist and taking his hand instead. “Come on, let’s get some food in you before the big announcement.”

-

Jim has never been one for big birthday celebrations. He’s had a few small parties with Sarek and Amanda, and a few gatherings with friends in the past, but for the last eight years, his birthday hasn’t been something to celebrate, per say.

He fidgets with the watch he got eight years ago today and frowns slightly. Part of him feels wrong having a big party with all of his friends, but then Joanna catches his eye across the room and gives him thumbs up and the tight feeling in Jim’s chest loosens. 

When he married Bones just a little bit over a year ago, part of him felt guilty. He felt like he was somehow stealing the life that Jocelyn should have had. In all honesty, he almost chickened out and probably would have if it weren’t for Joanna coming in and telling him how excited she was to have Jim joining the family. 

A year later, and almost two years after Jim and Leonard almost gave up on whatever it was that they had back then, Jim is happier than he thinks he has ever been in his entire life. Every single Avenger, Sarek and Amanda, and even Pike and Number one managed to get out to Iowa for the weekend to celebrate his birthday in Riverside at the old farmhouse. Jim watches them all mill about and can’t help the swelling of his heart.

Two years ago, he would not have been able to tell you what having a family really feels like. 

“Happy birthday, Jim!” Winona throws her arms around his neck and kisses him on the cheek. “How does it feel to be almost thirty?”

Jim laughs and hugs her back. “Pretty good. You’ve got a lot to look forward to in, what, three years?”

“Technically, I’m ninety-six.” Winona says with a snarky grin. “Technically.”

“Whatever.” Jim rolls his eyes and catches sight of George standing just behind her. “Hey, Dad.”

“Happy birthday, Jim.” George makes like he’s going to shake Jim’s hand but pulls him in for a bear hug instead. “Proud of you. You have a beautiful family.”

Jim grins so wide that he thinks his face might actually break. “Thank you, I’m very lucky.”

“Not as lucky as us.” Leonard’s voice comes out of nowhere and he winds an arm around Jim’s waist, pulling him close and kissing him on the cheek. “Happy birthday.”

“I swear, Bones, you’ve only said that to me about thirty times today.” Jim laughs and hip checks him lightly. “Careful, someone might mistake you for some sort of sap.”

“Don’t tell anyone.” Leonard’s eyes crinkle up in half of a smile and Jim cannot help but grin back. 

Winona and George watch them fondly and Jim catches them smiling like fools and giggling to each other. “Alright, show’s over. Go socialize.” He gestures at the rest of the party and waves them off in one broad sweep of his arm. 

Leonard is staring at him when he finally turns back to him. “What? Do I have something on my face?” He touches his mouth instinctively. 

Leonard shakes his head and takes Jim’s hand away from his face. “It’s just that you look happier than you have in a long time on your birthday.”

“Can you blame me? After all we’ve been through, birthdays were not exactly my favorite thing in the world.”

Leonard’s face darkens just for a moment and he looks down. “No, you definitely have a reason for it. I’m just glad that we’ve been able to move past it together.”

Jim looks up over to where Joanna is standing with her girlfriend, Maria. “Jo looks happier, too.”

“She is. You helped a lot with that.”

“Please, all I did was make sure she didn’t shoot herself in the foot.” Jim scoffs and leans his head on Leonard’s shoulder. “She did the rest herself.”

Joanna catches them staring at her and sticks her tongue out at them. She does put her drink down, though, and excuses herself to join them. Maria looks slightly lost before Chekov and Sulu come over and start obviously teasing her. 

“You two are being all sentimental again, aren’t you?” Joanna says accusatively and points a finger between the two of them.

 

Jim grabs her fast and pulls her into a hug, which Bones rounds out to make a regular family group hug. Joanna squirms to get free, to no avail. “Jo-Jo, we just love you so much! We’re going to miss you terribly when you go to college!”

“Ugh, get off!” Joanna finally manages to shake herself free. “You two are the worst. I’m going to NYU, I’ll be like fifteen minutes away.”

“Fifteen minutes too far!” Jim exclaims dramatically and clutches his chest. “However will we cope, Bones?”

“Might have to adopt another one to replace her.” Bones speculates seriously. “Rent out her room.”

Joanna holds up one finger. “Okay, first, you two should totally adopt another kid. I want a little sister.” She holds up another finger. “And two, if you let anyone touch my room, I will have your heads on a platter.”

Any retorts they might have made are cut off by Chris Pike standing on a chair and clinking a fork on his glass. “If I could have everyone’s attention?”

And because it’s Pike and he controls a room like no other, everyone actually goes silent and pays attention. “Thank you. Jim, we are here today to celebrate you.” He holds up his glass to Jim. “When I first met you, you were eighteen and too skinny and you had run away with the circus.” 

He pauses for laughs and Jim blushes when everyone turns to look at him. “Today, eleven years later, you are almost unrecognizable compared to him. Hell, you have a family. I am so proud to have gotten to know you so well and I look forward to seeing you grow even more through the next part of your life.”

Everyone claps, assuming Pike is done, but he puts up a hand and says, “Sorry, folks, not quite finished. I actually have an announcement about Jim and Leonard’s future.”

Leonard squeezes Jim impossibly closer and smiles at him too wide.

“Over the next year, I’m going to be letting go of the reigns a bit and Leonard’s going to step up and pick up the slack.” A few people gasp and Pike grins. “I’m an old man, people, and while I’m not totally leaving, I’d like to spend more time with my wife.”

An unashamed, “Hell yeah he does!” Comes from Number one, who grins and holds her glass up. “Continue, honey.”

“And while McCoy is going to be stepping up to become Director McCoy, Jim has graciously agreed to take the lead on the Avengers initiative. From now on, you all will have the much friendlier face of the Kirk-McCoy union to answer to.”

A few laughs through the crowd of people and even one “here here!” has Leonard blushing and Jim kissing his cheek. “It’s okay, baby, I like it when you’re grumpy.”

“Happy birthday, Jim. You have an amazing family and I think I speak for everyone when I say that we’re very happy and incredibly relieved that you’ve matured as much as you have. “ Pike raises his glass and everyone cheers loudly. 

Jim cheers with the rest of them when someone hands them both drinks and turns to Bones with a small smile. “Here’s to the future.”

Bones smiles and clinks glasses with him. “To the future.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOW, so this is the end! I have to admit, I'm sorta really teary eyed right now....
> 
> Thank you so much to everyone who has read, commented, liked, and just given me your general support! I probably would not have finished if it weren't for you. This story has been an adventure to write and I have loved every single word of it. Seriously, writing this has been the best time of my life.
> 
> A special thanks to Kay (parctroopers) and all of the Stitch n Bitch club for dealing with my ranting about writing and all that jazz. You guys are awesome. 
> 
> As for this universe, it's not over! I have at least one more multi chap planned for this, and probably a few more one shots. The first chapter of the next story (which is Genona, so you can probably guess what it is...) will be up within the next week, so be excited!
> 
> I love you all, thank you so much for you support. 
> 
> Kisses,  
> Lee

**Author's Note:**

> feedback is appreciated!  
> tumblr: fabtrek


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